I had quite bad postnatal anxiety after the birth of my son. For me, the intrusive thoughts were the worst, mainly centering on horrendous 'what if' scenarios ('What if I went mad and hurt him?' 'What if I crashed the car when I'm with him?'). It was incredibly difficult to relax and I was always on edge. But when I spoke to my GP about it they said I was fine but I knew I wasn't. Because I didn't have postnatal depression, they didn't seem to care.
I know many new mums feel this way and just wish the health care system recognised it better so that I could have enjoyed those first months more than I did.
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Yankee_Doodle
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I have no kids, so not suffered from it. But I have come across it.
My aunt was totally clueless as to why she couldn't go sleep at night, why she had strange throughts during the first months of by cousin's birth.
My baby cousin was a super good baby. Never fussing, feeding well, hardly cried, slept through the night, yet my aunt was ridden with anxious throughts. She did go to the GP and was told it'll go away in time. So no help from the GP. I persoanlly think we need more awareness!
I still suffer from it. My baby is 9 months old and is a very good baby. I just feel so bad when having these thoughts of harming my baby. I never talk about it to anyone as I feel no one will understand. I have tried googling it to see if many people have this problem. I just feel so stressed.
I know exactly how that feels sleepless_me. I felt totally alone and that there must be something wrong with me. But so many new mums go through this. We just never talk about it.
My GP wasn't that helpful but one thing she did say that my awareness of it and the fact that the thoughts were causing me distress showed that I was actually a really good mum because I was clearly so worried for my baby.
Hang in there though because it does get better. good luck!
My baby is 2 and I still have this and as I also have panic disorder a constant worry is how i will cope if i have a panic attack whilst alone with my baby and so when i am alone i have a panic attack about the thought of having a panic attack and not being able to be as aware of things as i need to be with a 2 year old. Its a vicious circle but i believe most mums do feel this way just obviously, if you add anxiety on top, the worrying is hightened.
So true EsMummy. It's important to try to break that cycle. What do you do when you've got time to yourself? Few and far between with a 2 year old (believe me, I know!) but even just a few minutes of me time can really pay off.
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