help with social anxiety

[Bekindtoyourmind]

I had a family dinner last night where I was reminded of how painfully shy I am around certain people (mostly alpha males) and how that feels into my social anxiety. Whenever I am in a group situation I feel as if people just aren’t interested in me and then when the conversation turns to me I’m lost for words. I’ve tried cbt techniques, prepared conversation starters, have been through talking therapy, currently doing meditation, even tried hypnosis. I feel like it’s all good when I’m not in that situation but as soon as it happens I feel inferior and cannot function in that setting. I’m losing faith that I’d ever be able to recover from this. Help! 😔

[tramelia]

Hi Bekindtoyourmind. My heart goes out to you. I suffer with anxiety over many things. However, I cannot cope with being around people. I guess its a kind of social anxiety, for example, in the past when my husband and I may be invited to a gathering, however small it may be, my anxiety hits me and we have to decline the offer. Unfortunately, I do have other health problems as well that stop me from attending, so I will generally tell them no because of ...... I sincerely wish that there was something that I could say that would help, but all I can do, is to say to a degree I understand how you feel. I say that, because even if I was exactly like you, we are all different. I wish you all the very best, and hope that you may find a way through this. Take good care Tramelia

[designguy]

Good for you that you recognize what is going on for you, it took me years to realize I had social anxiety disorder but back then there was very little awareness about it. My suggestion is that you find a therapist that specifically treats it, they may use group and exposure therapy as part of the treatment and provide you with new insight and tools on how to deal with it. There is also a lot of good info available on youtube, I especially like the youtube and approach of Sebastiaan at social anxiety solutions. Another thing to consider is that people with social anxiety tend to have low-self-worth which can cause or contribute to social anxiety, there is a lot of good info on youtube about it also, I particularly like Julia Kristina, Bernadette Logue and Dr. Bernadette Sewell. Social anxiety can result in having c-ptsd. Mine developed from growing up in an emotionally repressive household and being punished and shamed for showing any signs of being proud of myself or trying to stand up for myself. I was also bullied in school. I ended up working with a therapist that specialized in treating trauma/c-ptsd that used emdr as part of the therapy and it really helped. another thing that helped me was the DARE Anxiety book and youtube videos to learn how to constructively deal with panic/anxiety feelings and no longer fear them or believe the anxious thoughts.

[twilightlover44]

Hi! I completely know how you feel. I have a hard time in group settings as well whether it’s around family, at work, with friends. I always feel like everything that comes out of my mouth is the wrong thing. It’s easy to feel inferior when you start comparing yourself to people and how comfortable they seem and are able to easily have a conversation. Me personally, I’ve been trying to let things go as soon as the situation happens. And if I find myself thinking back like “I could’ve said this or done this better or why did I say that” then I actively stop myself and cut the thought off in the moment. You have to train yourself to be very intentional with where you give your energy to and where you allow your mind to go. If you find yourself going to a negative thought process, that’s fine but try to let it go and remind yourself you can always try again next time.