Spent the last couple of days in bed completely anxious, I don’t know how to get rid of it at all

[Guest135]

I have just been really tense over a situation that happened this week, you know how things pile up and you just have a bad week, last week was one of those weeks. I was asked on a date last Wednesday which I couldn’t cancel because it would be very very rude, but I wasn’t feeling mentally well, and the date did not go well at all. The guy didn’t send me a message for a good 3 days and it was only after I sent a message saying I had a good time and sorry that I wasn’t my best self, he said yeah the date was nice. I know it wasn’t the best because I had a lot going on. He is now blanking me slowly and I really want to redo the date but I am afraid if I send the message, he is going to say no based on his initial first impression from the first date, and I do not take rejection well. I spent the last couple of days not being able to sleep, feeling extremely anxious about all the things I have said, and I had my first proper panic attack Thursday night, I really felt like I couldn’t breathe at all. I know I am overthinking all of this but I just think it would be nice to get a second chance, coz I know I wasn’t my best self there at all, and I don’t know how to get rid of the anxiety at all

[SurvivingEveryday]

Guest135,

I am so sorry that this happened to you. Rejection is the worst, and there is no easy way to comfort someone who may be going though that. However, I have a few thoughts that I hope will comfort you.

1. Most guys (including myself) SUCK at replying to text messages, or calls. I literally forget to reply to things for weeks! People just think I am scatterbrained, and maybe a lot of guys are. So, perhaps the guy is busy with work, going through his own thing, or maybe he is just like me.

2. If the guy is worthy of your time, and is a good person, he will respect that you are going through stuff and see past it to see you. I went on several dates with dudes (I am homosexual) who had an agenda. Others would not have seen the real "me" if I painted a picture and wrote a book. If the guy is good, and good FOR you, he will understand and see past it. Of course it was one date, but if you told him anything about you, he should be cool. If not, there are so many more people out there. I know it does not seem like it right now, but there are.

3. I would send a message. Maybe say, "hey, so I am going through some stuff, and it is affecting me mentally right now. It does not represent the real me, and I am working to overcome it. I know I can, and will. I just want to put it on the table and be honest about it." Maybe even just say you want to talk until you are in a better place, and then go on a date? Or, meet for coffee, a walk, or just a phone call and talk about things. But be sure to let him see the real you.

Finally, I know it sucks and I know what it is like to be heartbroken over someone you went on one date with, but things WILL get better. If not him, others will come. If you are talking/dating someone and you find that you are worried a lot about THEM, and feeling unsupported, and being somewhat stressed.... it is never worth it. There will be someone great out there for you. I promise.

[marsbarr]

Hi, I hope by now you are feeling a little bit better. Dont worry or at least try not to worry too much. If you really like this guy or want to get to know him; just ask him for a do over, simple as that, if he says no, then its just no, but he just might say yes and if he does and brings up the first date, laugh it off for now.

[Ellie-Ann]

Hi Guest.

My absolutely number one remedy for stress and anxiety is ‘ GET OUTDOORS.’

If you aren’t able to walk then take a flask of coffee or something else with you and jump into the car or onto a bus and get outside into the countryside. Just looking all around you, listening to the birds singing or watching the ducks on water is a real healer. If you don’t believe me…just try it!

I wish you lots of luck…..and don’t feel reliant on men. Be an ‘ independent woman’. If it happens, it happens and if it doesn’t…so what. Be your own person and stay well and strong.