I think I inadvertently lost one of my best friends.

[DemureRose]

Long story short, I’ve been friends with this guy for a little over a year.

We’ve gotten very close and talk to each other about everything. He’s one of my best friends.

But I’ve always gotten the vibe that he liked me. And I liked him.

Yesterday I found out that a month ago he came really close to dating a girl. I didn’t even know he was talking to someone. I’ll be honest and say it was a punch to the stomach.

So I decided to text him just kinda being like “dude we shouldn’t talk the way we do (flirting, sex talks, deep convos) if you’re dating someone.”

He’s responded by saying stuff like “I didn’t mean to cross a line.” and “sorry I came off any sort of way.”

And it’s kinda cordial compared to our usual tone.

So now I’m physically sick because I think I just lost one of my best friends and I don’t know what to do.

[Damian]

I'm not sure why you think you might have lost him as a friend—it sounds as though the conversation was a bit awkward, but not that bad. I don't think you'd lose him that easily, anyway. When people think about their friends, they remember all the good times they've had, not just one thing that was slightly awkward.

Where would you like things to go, do you think? Would you like to date him, or keep things as friends? I expect you'll both want to date at some point, so then you'll have to decide whether you're going to date each other, or whether you're going to make your relationship strictly platonic friends and date other people.

I've got a close female friend who is married to someone else. It works well; her husband isn't jealous, and he doesn't have any reason to be. It could work that way, if that's what you want.