I’ve been with this guy since September. He’s nice and everything else in this relationship is perfect… except on part. He always wants me to perform oral sex i on him, while I’ve told him plenty of times that I don’t feel comfortable doing it, he still always asks me to do it. I don’t find the idea very appealing, I hate germs and gag very easily. I’ve never done it before but I really don’t want to. I also don’t want him to go down on me. The whole idea of oral sex in general just sounds very disgusting to me, but he said it is the best thing that a girl can do, which makes me feel really stressed and anxious whenever the topic is brought up, and this isn’t only from him, I see it in the media everywhere, that if you want to keep a man, you have to do things that you don’t want to do sometimes, and it makes sex feel so I unpleasurable to me, it’s like saying to someone “I know you don’t feel comfortable, but do it anyways or else…” and I’m crying writing this because this shouldn’t be what sex is about. It just makes me anxious because I really don’t want to give a oral sex i He always asks me to do it and I keep putting it off because I hate the idea of it, and it’s like he’s trying to force me and it’s such a turn off.
What do I do?
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Chocoholic_18_x
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Hi what is it about oral sex that’s making u so anxious to be honest I don’t really like doing it but I do it anyway lol u said about germs do u think if he showered right before that would help sometimes the thought of something isn’t quite as bad as it actually is maybe try it once then u know for sure maybe tell him not to cum in ur mouth 🤷🏻♀️
You really do not need to if you feel uncomfortable. However, if you love each other why not do some compromising may be? Like Amanda says, could you shower first? I never used to like it tbf but knowing how much it can please each other can be a turn on in itself. Buy never feel pressured, keep on talking and loving.
I’ve only been with him 3 months and lost my virginity not long ago to him, it just seems very intimate and I don’t want to just yet. I feel extremely pressured to do it because whenever I ask someone what I should do, the answer I always get is “even though you don’t feel comfortable with it, just do it anyways”, I’m just made to feel like I’m acting silly when, really, if someone doesn’t want to do something, they should set boundaries! But the reason I posted this in the first place was because of pressure and obligation to do it
I’m anxious because the whole idea just doesn’t sound appealing to me. I don’t want him nor expect him to go down on me either because I’m insecure. But mainly I’m anxious because I’m afraid he’ll break up with me and call me selfish because I don’t want to put a d*ck in my mouth. Anything else is great, and I’d be happy to do anything else, as an alternative to this. But I feel so distressed about this because I’m afraid he’ll break up with me and call me selfish
You shouldn’t feel pressured if u realy don’t want to do it then don’t if he doesn’t like that n wants to break up with you because of it then he’s not the one for u x
Never do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, never, ever. If he is genuine in his feelings for you, the first time he requested and you declined, would have/should have been the last time that he asked.
I agree with snowdaze. The only one it will pleasure is him. If you don't feel good about giving oral, don't do it. There's too much out there in the media but they are paid participants to do this kind of thing. I'm a guy and I wouldn't force a woman to do something she doesn't want to do. The stuff out there in the media is nasty. If you do do it like Amanda said just say don't cum in your mouth. Again media portrayal are people who do this kind of stuff for money. Do what you want to do without pressure.
Hello
In a relationship you have to be compatible in so many ways , including in the bedroom department which is part of a relationship for most couples that are in love
Maybe if you are adamant you don't ever want to try this then tell him straight
If he cannot accept you will ever be willing to have oral sex with him then you are not right for each other
I have to say though I would forget thinking unless you want to becoming a Lesbian that is this might be an option as same sex couples have oral sex to so that would not resolve anything
You cannot go on getting into a state over this and making yourself anxious
So just be honest with him once and for all and tell him he has his opinions and you have yours and will be sticking by them if you believe this will never be an option that you would consider
If he then wants to move on you know he was not for you anyway , but it should not be causing you so much distress so you have to put a stop to it and better sooner than later x
don`t feel pressured into it you`d hate yourself probably after it and that would be worse.he should respect you for who you are and not what he wants you to do.
Hello chocoholic. - You know the answer to your question, which is don't do it if you don't want to. If it helps to hear others say this to you then trust me, it is the golden rule in relationships that you shouldn't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with. If your partner doesn't accept that then he's not right for you. Take care.
I agree 100% with Lulu. He may not be right for you if he can't accept you don't want to do this.To be perfectly honest, though my husband and l are very close in every way, l honestly never did enjoy this particular act, so you have my complete sympathy.
If he’s asking you to do something you don’t feel comfortable with even after you’ve said so, he’s not the guy for you. Sorry. Also, that 1950’a crap about doing things you don’t like to keep a man, hard pass. Compromise is what is needed, not grinning and bearing it to keep a man. You should have heard all of the psycho things my ex husband tried to guilt me into doing in the bedroom. Don’t set yourself up for an abusive relationship when you’re battling health anxiety or mental health issues.
There are a lot of people who’ve given you the answer I’m going to. It can not be said enough - NEVER be pressured or feel that you “have” to do anything that you’re not comfortable with. An ex of mine wanted anal sex and that is just not my cup of tea. If this guy is interested in you as a person and not just for sex, then he should respect your boundaries and you his. If he isn’t patient, willing to talk about it or values you - dump him!
Most men want a woman to go down on them, even those who do not like going down on a woman. It is about sex but it is also about power.You do not have to do it. You have the right to say No. It may end your r/ship but why do something you find so distasteful.
If the sex is good in a r/ship, it is 10% of the r/ship, if it is not good it is 90%, it does not bode well for a future together.
I was taking to a friend today about something some people do which is part of sex. My friend was a prostitute for 25 years
I had a career and yet she was disgusted at what I had no issue doing with the one I loved.
We are all different and I would not do anything l found off putting.
I hope you realise he may be much more keen on oral sex then other men and when you find the right man you may feel totally different. Good luck. Never do what you are not comfortable with!
This is ridiculous and some of the replies are sickening. Just don't do it. My husband, early on would ask me to do it and I flat out said NO. We have been married 38 years. I, myself, think it's gross and would not enjoy sucking on something that would gag me let alone the semen that comes with it. My husband adores me and we have a great sex life and relationship. So, NO, you don't have to do this to "keep him".
I was just thinking back to my high school days where the guys in the locker would brag of their conquest and spread the stories to everyone. No woman ever deserves to have their sex life told to "all the guys". That's ignorant on the guys part. This also sends the "she puts out" sign to everyone. You don't need that label.I've also heard women say that they lost their virginity to so and so and it would be hard for them to leave their partner. And I've seen those same relationships fall apart. Just because you gave in to him the first time doesn't mean he can tell you what you have to do. Some guys will say you have to do this to keep me. Bullsh*t. Relationships don't work that way. You have a reputation you worked hard for and it'd be a shame for you to have to lose that just because he wants you to give him oral.
If he still pressures you, I'd say it's time for a new guy who will appreciate you for you. There are a lot of guys out there looking for love and companionship without all the extra props.
DON’t EVER TO ANYTHING THAT YOU DO’N’T want to..If he cared that much for you he wouldn’t pressure you into something that you already said no to….if it’s his needs over yours …run, don’t walk….he is not worth it and you already know that it’s about his wants, not yours….🥺. Your needs are just as important as his…🤷🏼♀️
Hi Chocoholic. I’m a married man and was a virgin when I met my wife. Before we had intercourse she had performed oral on me. It was the first time for that too.
She has said she never liked doing it in the past with her ex-boyfriends because they were rough or would try to hold her head down and that upset her and she quit doing it until she met me.
I have to admit that I enjoy it very much and I reciprocate, it’s only fair.
Having said that, I agree with the majority of the comments here. Don’t do it if it disgusts you. Talk to him and tell him why you don’t and be firm.
A compromise could be a hand job, that can be just as exciting and might fulfill what he’s looking for?
I hope you’re able to find a balance that works for both of you
Look, we all compromise sometimes in relationships, but if you are that against it, or not ready, or just don't want to do it, then don't. It absolutely might be a dealbreaker for him, some people are sexually incompatible, but that is the chance you have to take in order to stand up for yourself and your boundaries.
If you don't feel comfortable with it then don't do it if he can't or won't understand or accept that then perhaps he isn't the right one for you because if he was it wouldn't be brought up after telling him you didn't like it... and the fact that you are in no way expecting him to perform oral on u is fine ... never ever do anything your not comfortable with
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I Don’t Know What My Deal Is
I don’t know what to do 😭😭😭😭
I don’t know what to do?
i feel like such a piece of shit parent
