BIG BLOW UP/DAUGHTER

[Want2BHappy3]

Today my daughter and I had the biggest argument. I finally had ENOUGH, I have made nothing sacrifices for her to live with Me. Most of my savings is spent paying for 80% of the living expenses. She doesn’t really help around her house. And when I tell her something I get attitude. Her son live here too, which she doesn’t clean up after and she doesn’t disapline. The only time I spend with him is when she wants to run the streets. What brought the argument on was that I planned dinner and a movie with him, he said he wanted Family Time. She said he wanted to go swimming so I was like OK She said picked Saturday to do it, next thing I knew she’s making plans Saturday? And didn’t care about the plans for Saturday. I BLEW UP, this isn’t the first time. So now I’m looking to move. She’s very Ungrateful. I feel Guilty about my grandson, kids always pay the price UNFORTUNATELY. I’m 65 with health issues, this is taking a toll on me. I can’t ask her to do ANYTHING for me she COMPLAINS. 😷🙏

[Yasyass]

Hi I’m a bit confused do you live with her if you do I think at your age you don’t need all of this stress try look for yourself a small house that way u will be able to take care of it due to your health issues as for your grandkid try to arrange like visits to you I hope everything works out for you

[Want2BHappy3 in reply to Yasyass]

Thanks, No she lives with me and is almost totally dependent financially on me. Living with me she is required to help. I’ve already had a couple of falls. I know I’ve had ENOUGH!!! I do so much for her and my grandson. I rarely ask for any help from her. I might as well live alone. Her attitude is what Really gets to Me, she acts like she’s doing me a favor. No EMPATHY. Where did I go WRONG??? My grandson spends more time at his dads than with her. He’s asked for family time, her idea of that is taking him to hers friends house with her for hours instead of being home with her and I ? I’ve bought games and movies for us to do with him. The time he spends with me is when she wants to run the streets, and she’s gone for hours. I was going to wait till the after the holidays to move but I don’t think I can. It’s to intense here. I have diabetes, I’ve been feeling sick because of the Stress . I was trying to make the holidays Happy she’s determined to not let that Happen? 😞

[Yasyass in reply to Want2BHappy3]

I think you are the one th knows what’s best for you and god willing your grandson will visit you but as I say u don’t need to suffer take care of uself wish u the best

[SuZQ154]

Your frustration, anger, and hurt are understandable. You have given to your daughter and grandson for many, many years. In your mind and heart, you believe rightfully so that they should be thankful, and instead their actions seem selfish and hurtful! I understand...I've been there!

Setting boundaries with adult children is HARD because we are afraid we will LOSE them ... and in reality, they may move farther away emotionally and physically when we "pur our foot down". Yet, in the long run, we often gain our self-dignity and their respect. It may take awhile, yet I encourage you to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You might want to check our Henry Cloud's books on "Boundaries". bit.ly/3jBH5cn It helped me when I was gong through something similar with my daughter. Hope it helps.

Blessings to you!!!