The break up.: It’s been a month since my... - Anxiety Support

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The break up.

uniquediamond profile image
35 Replies

It’s been a month since my boyfriend and I broke up.

It would have been 5 years December.

I know that it was for the best on both ends, I tried so hard to forgive him for the cheating and lying but I couldn’t see past that.

I’m not the perfect girlfriend nor do I portray myself to be. I have flaws as everyone does. It wasn’t just his fault that we didn’t work, I played a factor in that as well.

I am so HEARTBROKEN right now. I’m trying so hard to smile and laugh as there is nothing at all bothering me, but I can’t pretend anymore. Everything I see or hear reminds me of him.

He works for FEDEX and of course all I see lately are the trucks or vans.

I’m falling apart inside, I know time will heal the wounds I carry “but when” I still cry myself to sleep at night and hold my phone close hoping he would call or text me, but he doesn’t. All I wanted was to be enough for him I wanted him to love me unconditionally. I found out 2 days ago that he has been with someone and she’s pregnant. I can’t stop thinking about it! It’s consuming my every thought. I think why it’s effecting me like it is, is because we had a stillborn 3 years ago 😢 also knowing that he’s happy with someone else makes my knees weak, how did he get over me so fast? Maybe he never loved me.

It’s been a month and I can still smell him on our bed I even found one of his shirts hanging in the closet.

And of course an old post on FB that I tagged him in came up!! I can’t stop crying I can’t stop thinking! Why do we miss or love people so much even when we know we shouldn’t.

He was my everything and now he’s gone and with someone else. My prayer for him is this. I pray that he finds love and happiness, I pray that she has a healthy beautiful baby and he supports her fully in all areas. I pray that he loves himself more and becomes the person he’s supposed to be and also the dad he is going to be. It’s time for me to start the path of healing and forgive him.

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uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond
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35 Replies

Hello :-)

Break up's are the worse and the pain can linger but I think sometimes it is that we are hurting still and in love with what we thought we had rather than how it ended up been

It is always hard when one moves on if the other has not but that get's better to as time goes on

We cannot turn the clock back we can only move forward , you sound a lovely person that deserves someone to treat you with the respect and love you deserve and as you let go I think that special person will come into your life when the time is right :-)

Take Care x

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to

Thank you! The more I try the harder it is for me! Heartbreak gosh what it does to your mind and body is insane! 😔

in reply to uniquediamond

Maybe don't try just let it happen naturally but when you find yourself thinking about him and what was try and distract yourself as much as you can :-) x

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to

That’s what I’ve been doing or trying to do anyways. Thank you again, it helps getting this off my chest.

in reply to uniquediamond

I am glad getting it all out has helped, sometimes that is what you need :-)

I married someone when I was very young , love of my life at the time , we had 2 Daughters together but after 9 years we split up

I was heart broken and yes he moved on more than once and I never thought I would get over it , I would cry , I would think of all the what if's , yes I would wonder what he was doing ,who he was with , all the usual stuff and made myself very miserable

But when I finally accepted it all , I decided that was that I would never want a man again , I mean all that pain why would I put myself through that , so I started getting on with life and then out the blue I was asked to go out with a friend and her BF and they would bring another man along so there was 4 of us

I said O no I am not interested in meeting someone , they said no it is just a night out , that was 27 years ago , that night out has been a very long night and we have been married 26 years now with a Son

Now I never thought I could love anyone like my first husband or get over him , but now I respect him as he is the Farther of my Daughters and a good one but I feel nothing but that and with my husband of now I realise what I thought was love back then wasn't but this is :-)

So let time and fate happen and it will and it normally is for the better as the first marriage was not right and had we not spilt up I would have never got what I have today so that pain I went through was worth it :-) x

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to

Wow! Thank you! I’m so happy that you found “the one” and I know it will get easier overtime and I know within myself I will love again, but right now I need to accept the heartbreak and heal from that, maybe I’ll meet someone that will love my children and myself the right way. Can’t help but to wonder why it wasn’t him, but that’s ok too. I learned a lot from this breakup, about myself and what a relationship needs to be successful in the long run

in reply to uniquediamond

Well I did , my hubby took me and the girls on and I am no model or anything , I often wonder what he saw but there you go he did and he loves my girls just as much as he loves his Son :-)

I am a big believer in what is meant to be will be , we sometimes never know the reason but as long as it is for the better eventually it doesn't matter :-)

Maybe these experiences alone are the reasons as it makes us wiser and stronger :-) x

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to

Thank you so much! I really mean that! ❤️

greeneyes2 profile image
greeneyes2

I had tears in my eyes reading this and can honestly say from experience you never think you'll get over a break up, but you will, its your every thought. Take time for you and i really do wish you well x

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to greeneyes2

Thank you! I tell myself over and over again that time will heal. It just hurts so bad right now.

Livvyloo19 profile image
Livvyloo19

My sister was in a 12 year relationship and just found out throughout her pregnancy she was cheating on her with her co worker. She left my sister with nothing and a broken heart. She moved in with the girl who she cheated on my sister with and are having a baby together. I have seen my sister cry so hard and say she will never heal. It’s been a little Over a year and yes she is still sad and still misses what she once had but EVERYTHING happens for a reason. You will get past this and heal and grow so much, you will realize what you really need and you will find it. I truly believe you will make it through this and heal. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me one month after moving in together, I thought I was going to die but slowly over time I got better. Branch out! Meet new people, love yourself harder and do more things for yourself. The sadness will be there but try to fill your time. Rearrange your home, your bedroom! Get new bed sheets! Paint your walls! I completely flipped my house and it made it feel more like just mine and not the space we used to share. We are here for you girl💖 stay strong. You will be okay.

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to Livvyloo19

Thank you so very much! I tell myself that everyday, sometimes 15x a day! It is hard, but at least I can say I found out now and that will help me heal because I don’t want to carry that anger in my heart. I need to say thank you again for relying to this post. It’s really helping me by talking about it

Livvyloo19 profile image
Livvyloo19 in reply to uniquediamond

Anytime. This app has helped me in so many ways. I don’t feel alone in my anxiety anymore and it helps so much to talk to people who know how your feeling. Please reach out whenever you feel like it!

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to Livvyloo19

I agree 100% this site has helped me in every way

steven14 profile image
steven14

You can get over your lose and you will be stronger and in time find happiness yourself look forward I have been there life does get better and it makes you stronger take care

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to steven14

Thank you

steven14 profile image
steven14

Stay strong always here

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to steven14

Thank you! Just those words helped me

Elliott_Woods profile image
Elliott_Woods

The fact that you still want him to be happy tells me that you are growing and will come out of this better than before, you know? I think the pain you are going through will subside and you eventually find happiness 💚 times heals wounds; it really does.

I'm going through similar feelings... My guy stopped talking to me about a month ago, and I'm pretty heartbroken about it. No matter how hard I try to occupy myself... My thoughts come back to him. I think we have to go through these uncomfortable emotions to be able to heal properly.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this all 💚 I'm sure it's a lot to process, but you will be happy in the end! Know this. Hold onto the good memories you shared and keep trying to live your life in the best way you can.

I believe you will find your true love. You will find someone who loves and respects you 🙂 he will be your perfect fit.

I wish you the very best!!! 💚 Don't let your thoughts overpower you too much, ok?

Oh, and just because he rushed his new relationship doesn't mean that he's over you or even in love with this new woman. He might have just wanted to not be alone.

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to Elliott_Woods

You made me cry! Good tears, because you are 100% right! Heartbreak is something that physically and emotionally make you so ill and you almost feel lost. I feel like I’m running in circles in a maze without a flashlight in the dark. I’ll love him until I stop loving him, idk how long that will take. Does it get easier I can’t answer that question right now for myself.

Your message really touched me in so many ways and I appreciate all the support right now! Thank you again! I needed to hear this message

Elliott_Woods profile image
Elliott_Woods in reply to uniquediamond

Hey, I'm here for you 💯 % of the way. You need a friend? Shout out to me. You are strong! This emotional rollercoaster will soon end... You will come out better than before! You will love your life,! 💚

If u need me... Shoot me a PM

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to Elliott_Woods

Thank you so much! ❤️❤️

Also if you need to talk you can message me anytime!

Elliott_Woods profile image
Elliott_Woods in reply to uniquediamond

Sure thing! 🖤

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to Elliott_Woods

❤️

Elliott_Woods profile image
Elliott_Woods in reply to uniquediamond

You look very pretty too 🤗 so that should boost your confidence. Just u wait... You will be at the top of your game my friend.

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to Elliott_Woods

Thank you so much! ☺️ that made me smile!

Elliott_Woods profile image
Elliott_Woods in reply to uniquediamond

Awesome 😊

Kewi profile image
Kewi

My ex and I were together for 5 years, one night I walked in from work and he tells me it's over and leaves... No closure no nothing.... It nearly killed me, and took about 3 years to FINALLY get over him and let me tell you, it took everything I had. But, the good news is, there is hope, memories fade and are replaced with others; there are so many great men out there just searching for someone to love and to love them back.

Hang in there, it gets easier 💙💙

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to Kewi

Thank you so much! ❤️

I’m so sorry that you had to go through that! It’s harder then some know.

I’m glad you were able to move forward.

newcomit6 profile image
newcomit6

forgive him from your heart live the moment

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to newcomit6

That’s what I’m trying to accomplish. Forgiveness and self control and healing for both of us.

newcomit6 profile image
newcomit6

do you think that?

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to newcomit6

Yes and feel that.

Boubis profile image
Boubis

After 7 years, my boyfriend decided to cheat n me and then left me for some other girl. I cried for like 3 Months, was heartbroken, was waiting him to call me... fell in a bit of depression and then I woke up to reality. I said to myself: I won't be the victim anymore.

Made some sport, started feeling sexy again, didn't cry anymore, went out, made new friends, started living my life , got an awesome job, met a new guy , felt alive.

Nothing happens without a reason. I am so glad it happened ....

Start living my dear! Be strong

uniquediamond profile image
uniquediamond in reply to Boubis

I am so thankful for this site! You definitely inspired me through your message! I’m glad your doing better! I’m happy to hear that you feel sexy again and even met someone amazing! I’ll get there I’m sure, just right now I’m down in the dumps. But time will heal

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