At the beginning of this coronavirus pandemic going into stores with a mask was required, social distancing, having to be alone at doctor appointments, signs on the ground where to stand, arrows on aisles directing which way to walk, checking temperatures before entering a a business, people staring. I remember being in Walmart and having a panic attack because of the look on people’s faces when they saw another human in the area.. Especially being pregnant people look at you crazy because you shouldn’t be grocery shopping in their opinion- you should be wearing a mask, gloves, and not touch things. I felt alienated. I think this truly triggered me into the anxious state I am in now. It’s like it’s built a barrier in my head that tells me people are dangerous, going out is dangerous, etc. I feel like this unlocked a whole other side of fear in my brain that I’ve had buried deep down. Especially after going at least 10+ months without having anxious feelings or attacks and then having one all of a sudden and then the cycle of fear begins and my thoughts and feelings are unleashed then wham- OCD kicks in and I’m suddenly crawling back into my shell of shame.
These are just my thoughts this morning. Maybe somebody can relate a bit. Happy Friday.