What are your feelings on forced participation?

[DemureRose]

So I’m still in high school which means we have pep rally’s. I usually skipped these because 1. I could care less what some egotistical jocks had to say and 2. They were just boring. But there was also another reason. When the athletes play the game, they call names of students to come join in. Now I’m the years before it’s always been younger football players, cheerleaders or kids who are in positions. When I was little I didn’t know this and would make myself sick worrying that they would call my name, luckily I had cousins who knew people in charge of that so they promised to make sure my name was never called. Well...the last one graduated about three years ago so that’s about when I stopped going. But the past year they’ve has them at times where I can’t skip, so I’ve had to go. Again, I haven’t been too worried because they pick athletes or they’d at least ask right? That’s what I told my equally anxious friend today during the assembly. Well apparently they don’t. Another one of our friends got called to play a game and she had no idea it was going to happen. I’ve never seen her cry but she came close today. After that happened to her, I was on edge and actually shaking. I mean what on earth would I do if that happened?! How do you get out of that? I mean there’s absolutely no way I could get in front of my school and do jump rope or whatever crappy game they’re playing! NO! I could refuse sure but then that makes a scene and eventually everyone would start chanting my name. I’ve had it happen. Luckily today I made it out and was able to convince my younger brother to take my spot if that ever happened. Definitely owe him. But the question still stands. Should this be allowed? Should people be forced to do things like this if they don’t want to? It seems like it should be optional! This kind of thing is traumatizing for people with anxiety or even those without it. So shouldn’t they should at least ask the person and make sure it’s ok? What’s your opinion?

(Sorry this is super long 😬)

[Sunshine425]

Wow! At my school growing up that was NEVER a thing. I graduated years ago but to answer your question no! I am interested in what your parent says about this? Is there a way to tell someone in charge that you are feeling uneasy or ask to attend the library or something to give you a chance to do something that youre more comfortable with. I too struggled as a child and teen. I quit softball and never played sports in highschool due to my social anxiety. Id be in the same boat as you. You are not alone and Im glad you have friends you can relate too.

[DemureRose in reply to Sunshine425]

My parents are in a tough spot with it because this isn’t something that’s easy to complain about you know? Seeing as mental health awareness isn’t a thing at my school, they chalk stuff like this up to just being shy or quiet and would likely use the excuse “get out of your comfort zone”. That’s been told to me several times.

[DemureRose in reply to DemureRose]

The teacher who’s in charge of the games and stuff would most likely ensure my name is chosen if I expressed anxiety towards it. She’s all about getting out there. 🙄

[Sunshine425 in reply to DemureRose]

Im so sorry. Thats awful to hear. I agree it is great to challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zone.. but its so much easier said than done. Are you assigned a school counselor? That would be the best support and go to person. I always felt weird seeing mine as back then counseling was so new to me. But my mom knew I was in desparate need to get support so my home life didnt interfere with schooling.

[DemureRose in reply to Sunshine425]

We have a school counselor but she is mainly used for college or class stuff. Not medical or therapeutic help.

[DemureRose in reply to DemureRose]

I mean I’m a senior so I’m nearly done. But I have a younger cousin who is very similar to me in terms of not liking the spotlight and I don’t want her to go through what I’ve had to go through.

[Sunshine425 in reply to DemureRose]

1 more school year to go! Congrats! My brother just graduated in 2018 and im about to age myself but I graduated in 2006.... ugh. Haha. But think if it like this: I PROMISE YOU down the road after highschool all these memories will be in the past! I felt so out of place with how little I participated. But after you graduate you get to have freedom to choose what you want. It gets better! Not saying you wont stop facing new challenges but you learn how to cope. I understand wanting to protect your cousin. It sounds like its a very tough situation with little options. Wish there was more support! No one should feel forced to the point of being extremely uncomfortable.

[DemureRose in reply to Sunshine425]

Thank you so much! Your words do mean a lot and I really appreciate it. I’ve been so worried that stuff like that would happen after I graduate but it’s very comforting to know I have more freedom. Thank you against

[Sunshine425 in reply to DemureRose]

No problem! Getting older has its ups and downs for sure! But as we age things that matter now wont matter in the future. Hang on to the people who support you! Ive learned from experience that building a support system is crucial!

[hypercat54]

Hi this sounds awful and I would refuse too. In my last job we had forced participation in what was called FISH. This was based on the principle of a team building exercise and came from researchers being in a fish market in London and noticing and being impressed by the co-operation and friendly spirit in which the market stall holders behaved.

We all loved it in one sense as it meant an afternoon off the phones and dossing about etc. but I never took much of a part as I am not creative, a leader, or could be bothered. Most of us felt we were being treated like children ie patronised and it was very silly. My sister was a team leader there and told me they hated it just as much but the instructions came from higher up so they had no choice. x