I’ve been doing well, this morning I didn’t feel 100% but got up and had breakfast. Then a friend phoned (twice)!and was talking about a situation with another friend who I know and it made me nervous, I didn’t really want to hear all that negative talk and it made me feel like piggy in the middle of it , I don’t really like situations like that moreso now with anxiety. I had what I call a ‘fear moment’ earlier, it’s worn off now but i didn’t like it.
I felt good yesterday. I really don’t like negative or uneasy situations at all 😐 I can’t seem to handle other peoples problems/dramas whereas before i used to brush it off or let them talk. Anyone else relate to this?
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Laniben
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Yes Laniben, I do understand. Ironic isn't it since we are here on a forum with a lot of problems and negative talk. But it's different somehow. Oh not because we are strangers
but more that we understand each other. We never feel caught in the middle or like
a third wheel. Everyone's issues on this site I have either experienced but more so I can
comprehend and feel empathy. I guess the last thing we need are phone calls from friends or family who add additional stress and drama. (especially when they don't
understand what we are feeling)
I felt like you yesterday when I got a call from a family member who went on and on
about different issues. First of all, I don't like the phone because I somehow feel
trapped which tightens my muscles. By the time I got off the phone (which had to do
with my ending the call graciously) I felt like you for a while. It then led into a tension
headache later which I was able to get rid of through meditation and breathing.
But yes, you are not alone with that feeling. I'm glad you reached out to us.
Thank you Agora, yes people on here understand and relate so it’s different and can often make you feel more at ease. But other negative things outside of that have a different effect altogether. I feel better now than earlier thank you xx
Hi there is nothing wrong with saying to someone that you don't feel up to hearing about that right now. I have a sister who occasionally rings me and wants to complain about everything, her health, how unhappy she is etc. I cut her off after a couple of minuutes saying I have to go now, then put the phone down whilst she is still wittering on. She rarely rings me now thank goodness but does another sister. Well it's up to her to deal with it as I haven't got the patience. x
I totally get it. As the oldest of 3 and always fixing everything for everyone in my family.. I finally broke. Was admitted to the hospital for 4 days and even though I work as a therapist and give others the same advice, now I had to be the patient. What I learned and have actually practiced is boundaries and saying no. Also I let everyone close to me know I cannot handle any of their issues and I do not want to hear anything negative. If one of them or a friend starts with a negative or scary story, I say stop.. tell me something positive.. there are still people who remain toxic to me and how I have dealt with it is to let them know I am trying to take care of myself. Hope this helps❤️
I understand what you mean, I think I would have felt the same earlier on my illness but it does not bother me too much now. I think in some ways I am too laid back but the anxiety then comes out in physical symptoms, mainly tight chest.
How are you doing at the moment, have not heard from you for a while but hoping that is good news.
I am off to Italy with my daughter tomorrow. Neither of the men wanted to come as it will be a mainly beach holiday but in a pretty historic town. Her husband has got flu so she is worried about leaving him and mine has a hospital appointment while I am away so I am feeling a bit guilty at leaving him too but he says he will be fine and would not have let me come to the appointment with him anyway.
It has put a a bit of a damper on a holiday we were really looking forward to.
Anyway I have packed and got lots of food in for him with lots of meals I have prepared and frozen so he should be fine.
My daughter is worried about her husband because last time she was away without him he got shingles on his eye and it could have been very serious.
We women do worry don't we?
How are your daughters and grandchildren doing?
I will be away for 5 days so may not pick up emails during that time.
Hope you are doing well at present, at least it is alot cooler.
Hi kim, yes little things can still bother me at the moment, I’m doing ok thank you, I have some moments at times which I still don’t like but doing my best and trying to keep with the positive. That’s a shame I’m sure they’ll be ok but I totally understand how you must feel. I’ve got a decision to make in the next week as to whether I go on holiday as planned with my eldest daughter and family to Florida, I really want to go but very apprehensive at the same time 😐 The rest of the family and grandchildren are doing ok thank you. I prefer it cooler to be honest at the moment I hope you have a wonderful time with your daughter.
Just wondered how you are doing. Not heard from you for a while.
I am meeting a friend today, feeling OK but certainly a bit breathless and out if sorts so far this morning.
Everything still a little unreal since my holiday which was wonderful but had a few downs particularly in how my daughter and I, who are generally really close got on. We were both a bit tired and stressed I think so kept rubbing each other up the wrong way. That said we both really enjoyed it , just kept having these rather intense emotional conversations which turned into arguments.
Just the two of us together is usually fine.
I hope we will still go again in the future. We are planning to go to Bergen in Norway sometime next spring.
We have carried on being supportive to each other since we got home by phone but do not really agree on the cause of the arguments. She thinks it was me finding fault and I think it was her.
I am sure it will not undermine our relationship, it is the most important one in my life for me......
I think we may have both gained from it really by talking about things that needed airing and then crying together etc.
How do you get on with your daughters?
I think I know more about your grand daughters than daughters in a way.
Really hope all is going well for you and that you are feeling fairly well and not having too many downs. Just think how far you have come since you first started taking the antidepressants, you really found time hanging so heavily and felt so unwell, I was the same at that stage.
I was exhausted and a bit unwell with a bad cold but also on a high after the holiday. The good times definitely out shone the bad. It was such a beautiful place and we were in heaven exploring it and swimming together. You can then feel a bit flat afterwards. I am out today with a friend for lunch and a walk by the estuary near her so that should pick me up.
Hi Kim, yes I’m doing ok, have been a bit anxious on and off since I decided to go on the holiday, daft really. But got some bits and pieces ready for it in October. I wish it was sooner because I’d have less time to worry about it then 🙄 getting a lot of muscle tension at the moment that’s probably why. Yes it’s usually about my granddaughters isn’t it, my eldest daughter has a boy and a girl both still at school, and she works for the metropolitan police. My youngest daughter has 8 children, only 6 live at home now as they have their children. She doesn’t work As her youngest is only 3. I think she’s looking forward to the older ones going back to school though as they’re getting bored now lol. her youngest daughter is going to college in September, her oldest daughter is at work.
Just come home from shopping, had a few moments but I’m dealing with it....well trying anyway 😊 it’s still quite tiring though isn’t it. I hope alls ok with you, I expect it’s natural with our kids from time to time, especially as you were worried about your husband at first, and she was worrying about hers. Take care
I understand this too.. Often people unload on me because I suppose I'm a good listener. Usually I don't mind and am glad to be supportive but at times when things are very stressful for me it can be too much. The ideal would be if you could be open with friends and say you'd rather avoid negative talk about these issues as it's impacting on your mental health but I certainly don't yet feel confident enough to be that open. Other people can be a drain without realising - if only they knew the impact.
Yes I’ve now told them both that I don’t want to hear or get involved with negative chit chat now and they said ok, I suppose is because I always used to be the listener as well and I still am to a degree but nothing dramatic anymore. I know we can’t hide from life butsometimes it’s best to turn a deaf ear when needs be lol
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xx
Quitting smoking?
constant panic attacks really difficult to come out of the loop
