Meditative Thoughts

[Aims_Namast]

Tonight I meditated after a super long hiatus from my relationships with yoga and meditation. It felt really good to focus on my breath and feel the true me coming to the surface. Then bam!!! Anxious thoughts come over me. One repeating thought of wondering if I’m a bisexual came to mind and it built the anxiety from within. Ive never had an attraction for the same sex and I thoroughly love my boyfriend, so why does this thought keep coming up? I have family and friends who are homosexual, so I’m not unfamiliar either. Am I not accepting something else about myself? The cycle of curiosity and anxiety builds and I feel as if I’m going down a rabbit hole. Does anyone else ever think of thoughts like this?

[HVThom]

Hmmm. Not to trivialize your anxiety, but what about being a bisexual causes anxiety for you? Like you said, you love your boyfriend. Being bisexual wouldn’t change that. Absolutely nothing would change if you realized you were, right? If you are bisexual, that doesn’t mean you have to start exploring that. Just acknowledging it and accepting it is necessary if it is true. I would love to help you talk through it if you need to.

[Aims_Namast in reply to HVThom]

No you’re completely valid. Honestly, I think it makes me anxious to think I could be not living my true self - still figuring out who I am sort of thing.

[HVThom in reply to Aims_Namast]

I completely understand that. I am still figuring out who I am too. I actually am bisexual, but I know because I have been attracted to the both sexes for a long time. And it took me all my teenage years to cope and come to terms with it.

[Aims_Namast]

I guess that is where I’m confused.. I’ve never felt attracted to the same sex but the identity of being bisexual is something that is a repeating thought. I just feel anxious about the whole “figuring out who I am” phase I’m going through.