Husband

[Mbuczek16]

As I was getting ready for bed and finally starting to feel better. I had made the comment to my husband, I think this anxiety and panic attacks are finally starting to lift after 3 days of having a hard time. He says, that’s good. A few minutes later he had a weird look on his face and I asked him what was wrong? I’m a person who cares about others to the point I make their problems mine and I over worry about my loved ones. He then tells me his chest feels weird. Since my severe anxiety started 7 months ago, he has also started having anxiety from worrying to much over me. Anyways, I asked is it anxiety, he said no I don’t think so just feels weird. Then I tell him, when he tells me he has anxiety it gives me more anxiety. And he told me the same back, and that he struggles with worrying about me while he is at work. Well I thought I was starting to feel better but for some reason hearing him say that, which I tell him everything, and it helps me so much, I lost it. I couldn’t stop crying, bc I felt like a burden to him. Then I started having a panic attack, and thinking I should commit suicide, and that stupid thought keeps now running through my head! Ugh. This awful. I know it is my brain taking what he said in the complete wrong direction, but now I am struggling from it. I’m not sure if hearing that come from his is really hitting me hard bc he is my biggest supporter or what, but it is making me sick to my stomach and now I can’t stop thinking about it. And now I’m just scared

[Dnel82]

It's horrible having to deal with intrusive thoughts that trigger panic. That's my biggest problem and why I still struggle with anxiety. The brain (subconscious mind) becomes too sensitized to these intrusive thoughts and boom panic. I hate it so much.

I recently did some research and was surprised to find out that constantly having intrusive thoughts is a form of OCD. Little by little I'm getting to the bottom of what triggers my anxiety and panic. If only desensitizing the brain (subconscious) to thoughts was so much easier.

This is why the mind is so complex. Anxiety is meant to protect us from harms way. It's funny to think that my anxiety is trying to protect me from my own intrusive thoughts. I get that acceptance and not fighting it is the key to teach the brain differently. I follow these steps but i don't get why my brain just doesn't catch on that these thoughts are just thoughts.

[Dnel82]

Have you or your husband thought about having maybe a long weekend getaway? Maybe to clear the air and enjoy each other's time? Sometimes getting away from this reality helps.

[Mbuczek16 in reply to Dnel82]

No, he is going to start seeing a therapist to help with him and learn how to help me in my anxiety attack

[kvolm2016]

I am very sorry to hear that this has gone from starting to feel better to suicidal thoughts. Have you had these thoughts before? And you mention your husband seeing a therapist but you have one as well, correct?

[Mbuczek16]

Yes and my husband is on board with the therapist. The intensity of the thought was much stronger than anytime I have ever had it. So I took my medicine for a panic attack right away and made sure my husband stayed home from work. I sometimes get those thoughts when I have severe attacks and I was told that a lot of people have that happen bc of the doom aspect of the attack. I do see a therapist and these attacks only happen when I have a menstral cycle. When it is over I start to feel better and like myself again. I see a new dr for my hormones in Chicago next week, so hopefully I can get some help

[kvolm2016 in reply to Mbuczek16]

Glad to hear that you have a new doctor lined up. It is pretty incredible how our female hormones have a correlation to/affect on so many things. Equal parts amazing and frustrating at the same time!

[art62grammie]

I grant you for sure. Suicide is not the answer. What would this do to your husband? I All of your loved ones would suffer. It is those you leave behind who suffer. I suggest you see a mental doctor if haven't already DO NOT TAKE YOUR LIFE. I HAVE SEEN WHAT IT DOES TO THOSE WE LEAVE BEHIND. NOT THE ANSWER. THINKING OF YOU.