My name is Tiffany and I’ve been really struggling the past couple of months even more so with my anxiety. I’ve never been truly diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, only because my family views mental disorders very negatively and I’m too scared to go out and see a doctor alone. I’m also too scared to talk to it (seriously) with my friends, and I rely on my boyfriend a lot for support. But I’ve done my research and it’s really the only thing that I can see explaining my behaviors and thoughts.
I’ve been struggling for about 5 years now, and I’m constantly bouncing between feeling great and fine, and then suddenly I’m crying all the time, panicky, nervous, and extremely paranoid/worried that I’m a burden to others or that this worst case scenario will happen or that I’ll mess everything up. I feel really bad talking to my sweet boyfriend about it sometimes because I worry he gets annoyed and I hate always bothering him with my irrational worries, despite him reassuring me. Recently, a majority of my anxiety has been caused by my decision to leave the religion that my family is incredibly dedicated to, which has caused me a lot of social anxiety and stress in dealing with the backlash, unwanted attention from my family, and always fearing I’ll have to have an uncomfortable attacking conversation with them whenever there are family events (like Thanksgiving tomorrow, yay!).
Again, I don’t really know why I’ve come here, but lately I’ve just been feeling extra mentally exhausted and I’m hoping maybe writing it all out will help me! So thank you for letting me vent!
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