😔 feeling unbalanced

[Fortal]

I feel stuck. I wake up in the morning and turn on the tv so I’ll hear people talking. I feed my cat, eat oven or microwave food in bed and that’s where I’ve spent my days for the past 2 months since I left my job. It’s been 10 years I live abroad and I have no friends around now. I’ve isolated myself since I moved to California. I’m 30 and separated from an abusive husband for 2 years now and feel anxious when I think about dating. I quit my job which was all I had going in my life. My home country is in crisis, my family is toxic and I feel like I no longer relate to my friends back there so moving back isn’t an option. Things are extremely expensive here and I don’t think I can make it to January if I don’t get back to work soon. I’ve applied for jobs and received the test for one of them. I have absolutely no motivation to do it. Every time I think about a solution to my problems the next second I’m frustrated with the possible defeat. I feel like a wast of potential. It is almost like I’d be the person I dream to be if things were all set up for me and I had people I love supporting me. But this is just selfish and lazy, and I feel guilty for it. I’m not suicidal, that must be a victory. But I’m afraid I’ll loose everything before I can actually do something.

If you have something to say, anything, please say it. I need help.

[Indigojoe]

Please make an appointment with a physician in your area { today} to discuss exactly what you describe here in your post.

Since the television was invented many people turn on the TV first thing in the morning to be comforted by voices.

I am very sorry that you do not have motivation in these days.

IT does not matter that the pattern was set for you to stay in bed for 2 months.

You must refuse to do this again, you make your bed with clean linens, you make your environment CLEAN and safe and you force yourself to eat your meals dressed in day clothing, in another room.

You clean the box for the cat, and you clean the dishes for the food.

You demand of yourself to shower and take a walk outside to buy the cat fresh food.

You take pride in yourself immediately and you take good care of the cat.

Start there, and pull yourself up and back in the game.

[Fortal in reply to Indigojoe]

I appreciate it Indigojoe. Thank you!

[Indigojoe in reply to Fortal]

Hi

I want to believe that you were able to get out of the bed, change the bed linens, and do laundry and clean up the living space today.

I believe that doing something for yourself and your cat will bring you closer to your goal of feeling better, each day.

[Krn210]

Your right now is not your forever. I’m always a message away if you need or want to chat. Please remind yourself and know that you are not a waste of anything. You were and are meant to be here.

[HopeinGod]

Hi Fortal, I appreciated reading indigojoe’s post as he really provides basic routine things to consider doing by just going on auto pilot. Getting up and doing is so important! His suggestion about a doctor is very helpful…you might have a medical condition that is causing this. I know that little thryroid gland can cause so much trouble! So please consider medical help. Have you also considered counseling? I know that many churches not only have a directory of resources (including medical) available as well as perhaps someone at the church that may offer counseling. Having an abusive husband leaves scars and you need to heal. Your username, “Fortal,” reminds me of the Spanish word, “Fortaleza” which means “Strength”. You’ve chosen a great beginning to find your strength! It’s really smart of you to recognize that you need to start working and are actually getting responses for possible employment. For me, working sustained me and helped me in my darkest hours. I’m sure indigojoe and I look forward to your having a new beginning, blessings

[Gidget1]

If nothing changes, nothing changes. Put one foot in front of the other, then do it again and so on. Ask for help from a Women’s resource center, a social services office, anywhere. Pick up the phone.

I was taught to NEVER quit a job until you have another job lined up.

Good luck. ❤️