Anxiety and Panics attacks

[Valorrian]

Hi,

I'm Val. I lost my hearing a few years ago after being really sick and since then I've isolated myself to my home. Recently, though I've decided to do something about it. I went to the dr. and applied for a cochlear implant. I didn't qualify. Now, I am left with living with this hearing loss. I am having nightmares, and panics attacks. I don't know how to live as a person with a hearing loss. I am 20 years old and do not know what my future holds for me.

I am starting to learn sign language but it is overwhelming. Due to being sick I have a hard time focusing and remembering things.

I'd like to make some friends here and not go back into the black hole I was in two years ago. I want to accept who I am and make a good life but I just don't know how. I'd like to read about others and

[Davidatp]

I have hearing issues as well. I am using Audible and it works really good. It is a fairly expensive but it was worth it to me. They do a free assessment and you don’t have to buy if you can’t afford it or it won’t help. Good luck and God bless.

David

[Valorrian in reply to Davidatp]

Hi David,

I did go to an audiologist and she recommend the cochlear. She said with my hearing loss and word recognition scores that she really didn't think I would benefit from traditional hearing aids, they weren't strong enough for me. She recommended that I apply for cochlear implants. I did apply but I didn't qualify for them. I didn't qualify because I have severe ossification which lead to nerve degeneration.

[Keeshdoe]

I’ll be your friend!! we all are here for one common reason that pesky ANXIETY!!!

[Valorrian in reply to Keeshdoe]

Thanks. I can use some.

[Calm_mama]

Hi Valorrian,

First I am so sorry for your loss of hearing. I imagine you are still grieving this and going through so much change and adjustment. Not to mention the more recent disappointment of not qualifying for the cochlear implants.

I am wondering where you are learning sign language? Is it at a school, or an online course, or other? I'm hoping that you are learning sign language with others so that you have that social connection and support. I don't know where you live, but throughout the US there are excellent resources and full-on communities for the hearing impaired. Beyond sign language, what resources for the deaf are available to you where you live? Also, what technology have you looked into?

Next, do you have a therapist? A good fit with a good therapist can work wonders...

Lastly on the anxiety note- I have lots to say on anxiety And situational anxiety is what I know best (life throws you a nasty surprise and anxiety hijacks the mind). You can look at my profile to see all the resources I like and I suspect that they will help you (especially Dr. Claire Weekes) as you adjust and get through this difficult transition in your life. All the best~

[Valorrian in reply to Calm_mama]

My mom set up private tutoring sessions for me. She asked the priest at my church if he knew someone that signed and he did. That person got in contact with me and is willing to teach me how to sign. She is about my age. I'm 20. When I met her she didn't know I couldn't hear but figured it out quickly when I kept asking her to repeat what she said. Then she took out her phone and started to type to me.

I've never told someone that I can't hear. I've only been around my family since I've lost my hearing. I've had one lesson. She taught me her name and how to sign my name. We went through the alphabet and then it was time to go. Since she is young I did ask her how she knows sign. She said that she grew up with it and many of her family members are deaf or hard of hearing. She was really nice. She didn't ask about my hearing loss and I didn't offer any info. I was light a deer in head lights. I looked at her but at times I felt as if I lost focus. I'm not sure if was my anxiety,nervous or something else. I have a big problem focusing and remembering now. I hope this is something I can do, learn sign.

I am in the US. There is no way I am ready for group instruction. Just thinking of that makes my heart race. It took everything out me to just go and meet with this person. I almost canceled and I did threw up before I went. I've isolated myself for two years. I'm scared to be thought of as deaf and dumb. No, no, no. I'm just starting to reach out on the internet and research stuff on my own. There is no way I'm ready to socialize. I would never understand people. It would be too overwhelming. No. I also have some other issues since I was sick. I can't really focus for a long period of time, and I don't remember stuff like I use to. It times me more time to process things as well.

What technology am I using? Well I have my phone. I have a speech - to - text app on it. I use cc for the TV. Is there other stuff? I don't know of other technology.

I don't have a therapist. I wasn't ready. I asked my mom about it recently and she is going to set something up for me. Thanks for taking your time and writing. Also thanks you for the resources. I will look at them tomorrow.

[Calm_mama]

Hi Val!

Yes I think the resources could be very helpful to you. Anxiety is clearly affecting you. Yes keep taking one day, one step at a time. Being terrified of meeting this woman, and moving through the discomfort regardless- that is huge. You are so much braver than you realize. Also, keep in mind that young minds are so good at learning new things - sign language, you will get it. Most likely you are having trouble focusing on things because of the anxiety. Don't let it trick you though- Anxiety not only makes it a little hard to focus, but it also likes to make a catastrophe out of that (and everything!) So don't let it trick you into thinking that you can't focus. You can. It's just harder. You can learn this new language and then start connecting with others because you'll be able to communicate.

Since Claire Weekes' video is really just audio, and it's my absolute favorite of the resources, I will try to find you a transcription of it. Her books are excellent but I'm partial to her recordings. I'm so glad you have started the process of getting a therapist. That is a wonderful. I'll just mention this. You want a therapist who knows anxiety well and who knows CBT - cognitive behavioral therapy. It's the absolute best therapeutic approach to anxiety. Dr. Weekes approach has a heavy emphasis on neuro-psychoeducation and CBT. I think in your situation you also want the therapist to know and incorporate ACT- acceptance and commitment therapy. I imagine you will be writing back and forth with the therapist? I am in awe of you and am so glad you took the courageous step to reach out in so many directions for support and help. Stay in touch - please keep us posted on how things are going. Lots of hugs to you Val!

[Valorrian]

I am working on looking at those links still. Thanks for the resources. I came home from my lesson today and just crashed. I was exhausted. I'll try to read them sometime this week.