not in the right state of mind...

[Johnnie1234]

i came to the mall my head feel strange my thoughts is racing i fedl wired and worried about how im feeling my eyes feel wired and strange i dont like this feeling i feel like im going crazy.

[Agora1]

Johnnie are you alone? It's okay that you are feeling like that. It's all about the anxiety. The openness of the mall and all the movement around you is causing you to feel uneasy.

Don't give into it. Make sure you are hydrated and that you've had something to eat recently. I use to go to the game room which took my mind off that feeling. Try doing some deep breathing it will calm you down.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Agora1]

im tired of feeling like this is like fighting my brain agora1 why is this so stressful i dont even feel like myself anymore.

[Agora1 in reply to Agora1]

I so understand what it's like even though I don't experience it anymore. But I'll never forget that feeling. I hope that knowing there are many of us who have talked the talk, walked the walk and we made it. Fully intact. And you will as well.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Agora1]

you had the samething i experinced ?

[Agora1]

Johnnie, if you have a pair of sunglasses with you, put them on. It will help lower the lights and action around you. You're okay, you're safe. Enjoy your time there.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Agora1]

yeah im trying ny best. its just the thoughts and everything else.

[Agora1 in reply to Johnnie1234]

That's all we can do is keep trying. Giving up is never an option.. Know that your mind is stronger than anything life can throw it's way. Including this.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Agora1]

yeah how did yours pass?

[Agora1 in reply to Johnnie1234]

Through accepting that anxiety would not kill me. The symptoms were uncomfortable but not harmful. I went to many doctors like you did to make sure nothing was physically causing the symptoms. After seeing a number of doctors saying it was anxiety, I had no where else to look except within myself. Like you, I was afraid of medication but once I took that chance and try medication, it was a start. Medication, therapy and I was on my way in not staying stuck in a cycle of fear. The rest is history. Slow but sure steps forward. I'm not any braver than anyone else on this forum (oh believe me) Shaking and crying were my coping skills at one time. Did it serve a purpose, of course not.

Once you start getting angry at what anxiety takes away from allowing you to live your life to the fullest, anxiety starts backing off. The anxiety bully is more afraid of you than you think. Stand up to it. Say out loud if you have to "I will no longer

take this from you" "I am in control of my life, not you".. Always use positive words.

Stop yourself from using a negative contraction such as I can't, you can and you will win.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Agora1]

how about those thoughts that j been going through i never had them till now i dont know for what reason.

[Agora1 in reply to Johnnie1234]

The self harm thoughts need to be addressed by a doctor. Those may need medication. The chemicals in the brain can be off causing these disturbing thoughts but only your doctor is the judge of that. I can only go by my own experiences and I have never had depression or harmful thoughts.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Agora1]

oh okay ugh this sucks so that means i probably wont get better .

[b1b1b1 in reply to Johnnie1234]

NO, it does not mean that you won't get better. You will get better. Many people have depression and bad thoughts just like you do. You can and will recover from anxiety, depression and bad thoughts. Your therapy appointment is Tuesday. Focus on that and make sure you schedule another appointment. xxx

[Johnnie1234 in reply to b1b1b1]

Ok thank you and i feel it right now as we speak these thought these fighting in my head people keep asking me why i look stressed by looking at my face its just stressful ugh.

[Agora1 in reply to Johnnie1234]

Johnnie did you see what b1b1b1 just wrote you. You tend to interpret what people say in a negative way. I did not say you will never get well but you need to follow through with your therapist/doctor and do what they suggest. You have an appointment for therapy on Tuesday? Do what b1 says and focus on what they say and you WILL get better.

If it means taking medication, then so be it. x

[Jeff1943]

Two people in my family have self harmed but they don't do it any more. I don't understand the thought process that leads to it so I can only say to you, Johnnie, have more respect for your body, don't do it. And if the feeling is for more than cuts on the arms go straight away to the ER/ A&E and tell them what you're thinking and ask for help.

O.K. Johnnie, so you're not ready to read that book yet, don't worry, the day will come when you're ready to read it and begin your journey of self-help and recovery. The day will come.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Jeff1943]

oh okay so that would go away its hust bad thoughts i wont do it but it just the thinking that wont leave about it but i know i wont do it you know.

[Jeff1943 in reply to Johnnie1234]

That's good to hear, Johnnie. We all feel like doing things we know to be wrong and not in our interests from time to time but we don't do those things because deep down we know right from wrong.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Jeff1943]

yeah but i need it to go away i keep having those thoughts and my head just feel like its getting tired

[Aspergirl47]

Johnnie...Hope youre ok now You will feel tired more quickly due to all the stressful negative thoughts....I was out shopping yesterday and I felt awful after only 15minutes there and began to think everyone was looking at me and thinking I was a fool....but I know I have to tell myself that my mind is not healthy at the moment and its trying to fool me into believing those negative things...

[Stan_K]

Hey Johnnie1234. I know all too well what you’re going through. I remember walking into WalMart a few years ago and all of the sudden my eyes and my mind felt as though I was dreaming(I think it’s called derealization or depersonalization). And it took me a while to get past that. It’s all anxiety and adrenaline related. What I often do to keep myself from freaking out or thinking about those things is to wear my headphones(and have music or a podcast playing), and wear my sunglasses. Exercise always helps to relieve the tension and stress that we create from having anxiety. Tryst me when I say, it’s all in our minds and that it does get better.

[Darryl Partner]

Hi Johnnie Time to check in. You managed to get lots of people to be concerned about you. Time to let everyone know how you are really doing

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Darryl]

my stress is high i could feel it in my brain mostly everyday i think im going crazy or something.-

[Agora1]

Johnnie1234, this seems to be the last time we heard from you. How are things going with your job? How have you been feeling? Hope everything is okay. Please give us an update when you can. Take care. x

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Agora1]

i actually been going through it but i been hanging there i think its my job thats putting my mind busy . Today im actually feeling a bit bad i drank a beer and boom my heart start racing really fast its something wrong dont know what but the heart just started racing and didnt want to calm down for like 30minutes i even started excersing to see if it works but it made it worst beating crazy more fast even in my neck my pulse was beating crazy felt like i couldnt breath was trying to fight im a little calm now but could still feel it . also i dont know whats this about thwt my vision feel unreal or dream like everday dont know what it is but its crazy . its a everyday thing with that.

[Agora1 in reply to Johnnie1234]

Hey Johnnie, thanks for responding. People have been worried about you. I'm glad it's your job keeping your mind busy. That's a good thing. As for your heart racing after having a beer, that's normal and will happen with the anxious person. Alcohol dehydrates you as well as causing the anxiety to act up. With you it's your heart beat.

Make sure you hydrate with water whenever you do have a drink. Also when you are working make sure you are drinking plenty of water especially during these hot summer days. That can help you with that dream like state that you feel.

I'm proud of you working. That is a huge step forward for you. Getting out, being productive is all a part of getting your life back again. The symptoms will get less as you focus your mind on your job and not the symptoms. You're doing good Johnnie.

Keep up the great job. You hold the key to your getting better. x

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Agora1]

yeah i was just not posting on here because i felt like i needed a little time for myself and felt like i was bithering to much on here thats why so i step out for a bit and it continue racing alot and giving this jumping feeling when i laydown after it went really fast the side where my heart is it starting twiching dont know why

[Agora1 in reply to Johnnie1234]

And that's okay Johnnie to give yourself a break from the forum. Sometimes talking about it everyday just adds fuel to the fire. I use to get the same thing

years ago when anxiety first hit me. After having a zillion tests and not believing

the doctor and going from one specialist to another, it finally dawned on me that maybe they were right. This was all coming from my nerves. Afterall I was always

so anxious so why wouldn't my body respond accordingly.

At that time to quiet my nervous system down I was put on a small dose of Xanax which unbelievably took away all those weird heart symptoms.

[anxiousgirl7]

I feel this way too! I hope your ok

[Johnnie1234 in reply to anxiousgirl7]

yeah right now i feel like i cant breath but earlier my heart was going crazy fast after drink one beer but dont know why then i atarted getting worried then got more worst i was trying to act normal but its hard right now i feel it like my heart but the crazy thing is when it was going super fast then in ny neck i felt the pulse after i left where i was at hanging out it started calming down but i starting having muscle twiches right in the side of where my heart is

[anxiousgirl7 in reply to Johnnie1234]

I feel the same!

[Johnnie1234 in reply to anxiousgirl7]

right now my blood pressure is 114 dia 80 pulse 92 and i feel like i could barely breath ugh

[anxiousgirl7 in reply to Johnnie1234]

Me too I feel like somethings wrong with my heart

[Johnnie1234 in reply to anxiousgirl7]

yeah but they always say that my heart is good dont feel like it though ill be mad if they find out to late and they keep saying is nothing ill be mad later on if they so oh umm i think we find out the problem now ill be so mad