my anxiety and having panic attacks happen so often, and i have breakdowns 2-3 times a week. enough is enough, and my therapist isn’t helping. i know absolutely no coping mechanisms other than breathing and some positive self-talk. i just feel hopeless but i wanna get better, like i’m ready.
have any of you guys been to a behavior health center for anxiety? and did it help you?
You should go and try to get into a partial hospitilization program! You will go in every day for one or two weeks depending on how long you need and youll see a group therapist a therapist every day and a psychiatrist at least twice a week. (: this really helped me with my anxiety, as i was having paniv attacks every single day more than once. You shouldnt have to feel this bad
Jaderbug, psychiatry is in infant science, seventy years ago it hardly existed, so perhaps we expect too much from it and its therapists. Twenty years ago I went to the famous Priory Clinic for therapy and I couldn't understand what on earth they were talking about.
Good therapy is perhaps common sense and occasionally someone turns up who understands anxiety and suggests remedies that really help, really work.
Such a person was Claire Weekes who wrote 'Self help for your nerves' many years ago and in so doing launched the Acceptance method for recovery which has probably cured more people than all the psychiatrists ever have.
I can see from your post that you have suffered long and hard and are maybe drifting without direction.
Maybe this is the time to stop fighting your anxiety and start practicing the idea of accepting all the symptoms and strange feelings for the moment. Fighting causes more stress which feeds our over sensitised nerves, the last thing we should be doing. Accepting means learning to live calmly and fearlessly with our symptoms, surrendering to them, learning to coexist with them and attaching less importance to them. Rather than obsessing and stewing and worrying about them which releases stress and fear hormones that keep our jangled nerves in a state of over sensitivity.
When panic attacks come remember that they can't kill you, disable you or send you crazy: they only have the ability to terrify you. They are short curcuits in your nervous system, nothing more, so relax every muscle in your body and face the storm - accept it completely and utterly.
Do this and you rob anxiety of its power to terrorise you. Do it long enough and your nerves will recover and you will recapture your quiet mind.
You really nailed it! I’ve suffered from uncontrollable panic attacks and agoraphobia for many years. During that time, I was in an inpatient program for 3 months, meds and seen a therapist 1-2 times per week for 8 yrs! What helped most was taking control of my own health instead of putting it in the hands of others. Got off meds (that was just what worked for me, not suggesting anyone else do this especially on your own!), read lots of CBT workbooks, meditate daily, exercise, and finally learned to let go. That was the hardest part. Riding the wave. Letting anxiety flow freely through me without fighting it. It’s a part of who I am and I still struggle but life is so much easier now that I’ve become one with it instead of trying to push it away.
Hi dragons, I did exactly the same thing as you. Inpatient program as well as medication and more years of therapy then I could count. Reading, meditating and accepting that anxiety was not going to win. I too got off my meds which for me opened the doors so I could think more clearly. I took control back of my life. I took everything I learned from therapists but realized I had to do this on my own. They could only guide me but I had to take charge of my own life. It was a long hard journey but I made it. Thank you for sharing your journey as well. xx
Hi Agora1! I love hearing success stories from fellow sufferers. Thank you! Makes me feel normal. I spend too much time wishing I was like everyone else, assuming no one suffers as I have and sometimes still do. The more I talk about it, the more people I’m finding that also suffer from similar problems or knows someone who does. It’s comforting knowing I’m not in this alone. 😊
Me too dragons xx
You are a strong, brave and wise person, dragons, and I can tell that you will master your anxiety - rather than your anxiety mastering you.
This is true. I was fighting my anxiety for 22 years! then came cross this guy and Beehave I think is his name on here too and I’ve read and read their post and nothing helps apart from letting go and acceptance. Recovery comes from you no one else. Read the book suggested above.
I cannot stress enough how much it would help you. Acceptance works. Good luck. 😊
Miss P74, Jeff1943 and others who talk about acceptance curing anxiety disorders (or any other fear based disorder) is bang on the money.
An overly anxious mind is a master at conjuring up anxious thoughts. Thoughts that are not based in reality, just a figment of an over active mind conjuring up lots of different suggestions as to why you are feeling anxious. You can either choose to believe those thoughts or let them go. People with anxiety are conned into believing those thoughts and feelings (especially those which resonate with the sufferer) because they come with such ferocity. Anxiety makes you sit up and take notice to a thought which you then spend ages going round in circles trying to figure it all out when in fact, there is absolutely nothing to figure out! It’s exhausting and how depression can develop because the brain is not getting any rest and emotional reserves become depleted, a bit like a battery running flat.
So, the advice I give is always the same. Learn to let those thoughts and feelings go. They are not real and won’t be there when you recover so please don’t waste energy and time battling them because this is why sufferers continue to suffer. Learn to carry on with your lives and take the anxiety with you. Make your life bigger and do things regardless of how you are feeling. Don’t try to suppress the thoughts and feelings, let them come, let them scare you but learn to watch them do it instead of engaging and becoming embroiled in them. Developing a passive attitude towards those thoughts and feelings will pay dividends and let them run riot, again observing instead of adding more fear. Don’t try to avoid places or situations that make you feel anxious. Call anxiey’s bluff and go towards/face your fears and they will disappear without trace. It’s all false messages being created by your anxious mind.
It’s not easy to practice acceptance at first but it does get easier as you travel down that road to recovery. The more you practice allowing it all to happen and resisting none of it, the more you will recover. Acceptance is not something you do. It’s about developing a passive attitude towards the symptoms of anxiety. All that negative energy created by anxiety needs and wants to be released from you. All you have to do is sit back and let it all happen instead of stopping the release by avoiding, suppressing, fighting etc. It wants to be free from you as much as you want to be free from it but how can it escape if you won’t let it? You have to feel it all and do nothing about it.
One day (it’s a gradual process) you will find that there is no more energy to be released but you need to go through the process of living your life to get to that stage and be free from inappropriate levels of anxiety. Like Jeff says, it takes time for sensitised nerves to heal and for normal thoughts and feelings to return but they will, as sure as night follows day. It’s a natural physiological process where the mind and body fixes itself. Anxiety suffers just need to learn to step out of the way of themselves and let Mother Nature work her magic.
For further guidance, read anything by Dr Claire Weekes. For more up to date guidance, I recommend sufferers visit a website called Anxiety No More created by Paul David who recovered from anxiety following the exact same principles published by Dr Weekes. There’s lots of useful information and a blog too and well worth a visit. He’s also published a couple of books. I bought the first but didn’t need the second. He’s not in it to make money. He just wants to help people. I’m sorry to say that there is no magic pill out there to cure anxiety although some obviously provide relief from those pesky symptoms. Permanent cure comes from within. We got ourselves into this pickle which means we can get ourselves out of it. We all have what it takes to recover. Sufferers just need to be shown the way by giving up that fight.
Beevee you sir are just amazing. Your words just stick. They stick in my head and one week later from being a complete wreck inside, your posts have played over in my mind and with all my heart and will I am learning to accept. I have a way to go I know this. But wow. I can’t thank you enough ♥️ If only I read your posts 20 years ago! I’m 44 in a few weeks and by my next born day am hoping I am finally free.
Thank you again 🙏🏻💫
Just don put any pressure on yourself to recover by a certain date etc. Don’t go searching or striving for recovery. Developing a passive attitude (oh well, I feel rubbish or feel very uncomfortable but that’s just how it is going to be for a while) means you are fully accepting of the symptoms (they are harmless) and will wait for recovery to come to you. And it will, all in good time. Our natural default setting is one of peace of mind and body, not full of anxiety which is a learned behaviour, albeit a behaviour that has been blown out of proportion due to having sensitised nerves caused by stress or a series of stressors. That peaceful mind and body will return and the trick is to not try doing anything to hurry up the process. All that negative energy surging through your mind in the form of intrusive thoughts and physical sensations is just the mind and body sorting itself out and finding their way back to that default setting I speak about. Just accept it all and let yourself go through that process. Acceptance is a bit like learning to fish. People can tell you how to catch one and you can read books about it too but at the end of the day, you have to go out and practice doing it. The more you practice, the better you become and it becomes a learned behaviour. Some days you will catch a fish, other days you won’t get a nibble but so what? Just accept it.
Happy fishing!
Hi Beevee
I’m not rushing it. Was just an exsample
I understand it will take time , practicing acceptance is a start and this is what I’m trying now.
It’s been 22 years so I know there is a way to go yet.
I did have intrusive thoughts and high anxiety every day. But now starting to be less and each time I feel one coming I relax and be in the moment and just carry on. I work everyday so can be difficult when anxiety is high but this week has been good. I’m learning to accept and riding through it.
I’m of fishing 🎣 Have a fab day!
So true, Beevee, so true. We must switch from being our own worst enemy to being our own best friend. Others may help us, both professionals and non-professionals, but in the end we have to take control of our own recovery. Even reading a self-help book by Claire Weekes or Paul David isn't enough, we have to act on what we have read and that takes practice and persistance. I believe some think that just by reading a book is enough, it isn't. Only when we put into daily practice what we have read and learnt can we expect to reap the reward of recovery.
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