Anxiety Support
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Not coping today

So tired of life being a battle, no matter how hard I try and how much I fight I cannot seem to win, feels like the end is coming :-(

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Kitty'jump,

I wanted to let you know that after years of coping with anxiety and panic attacks, I have kind of learn to live with them. I have good and bad days, make the most of the good days find an anxiety group near your area, share your feelings, you are not alone, we all have to endure the battle and life still worth it :)

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I am pretty much housebound so that isn't an option :-(

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Kittyjump,

That battle you fight IS worth it. One of the things I've learned in life is that everyone has their internal issues but not everyone responds to them the same way, or feels that emotional discord as strongly as others. I believe it's because some of us are so in tune with our emotions that we feel them as physically as we do psychologically, if that makes any sense. You said life feels like a battle and you feel like you never win, maybe you need to ask yourself why do you feel like you can't win? Are you measuring yourself to an unrealistic standard or expectation? I used to think I was inferior to my friends and so many around me, like I wasn't good enough, didn't have money, didn't have a "career", didn't finish college, was overweight.... on and on. It kept me from focusing on what I REALLY wanted from life. I just kept measuring myself to what others thought of as "successful" instead of what I found "fulfilling". I am an artist, but make very little money from it right now, mostly because every time I do something, people tell me, "You should do this as a living, you could be making so much money from it!" which for some reason instantly shuts me down and I get reclusive. It takes the joy out of it and gives me anxiety to think about "making a living" from my art. It is a constant struggle, but I am owning the fact that I just love to create without having to make it my livelihood, for now anyway, but it is an even bigger struggle to convince my family and friends of this as everyone is so hell bent on making money instead of being happy. This may not relate to you at all, and your struggles may be so big and way more complicated.... but please consider this; you have more power than you know, more value than you see, and more control than you think. You bring something to life that no one other person can contribute to this earth: you. You're worth that battle. Keep fighting and find what makes YOU happy, not what society, friends, or family think should. Peace✌ and love❤

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Thanks very much that's good advice :-)

Actually I am a creative myself it's a hard life isn't it? I mean I don't understand why creative industries are worth billions yet it's so hard for people to earn a living from it? Is great you enjoy it seperate from that :-)

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I can relate to the feeling of not winning. I think I am too hard on myself and forget my accomplishments quickly. I forget to be in the present moment plus compare myself to a nonexistent better self that I feel I’m supposed to be. I hope you can go easy on yourself and know you are important and are here for a good reason.

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I find it hard to go easy on myself when I struggle so much every day just to do the basics :-(

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I hear you. I’m sorry things are rough right now. I notice myself focusing on what I don’t like so I’m trying to not judge everything so much and attempting to catch and change the negative thoughts to positive but it is not easy yet. I hope you have beautiful moments today.

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Thanks :-)

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Kittyjump, you say no matter how hard you fight you cannot seem to win. May I suggest that 'fighting' anxiety is what is preventing your recovery. Fighting creates more tension and stress. That's the last thing over sensitive nerves need, more tension and more stress.

Instead stop fighting. Surrender to your anxiety. Surrender completely. Accept all your symptoms of anxiety (for the moment). Accept them and agree to co-exist with the symptoms. Temporarily.

Once you Accept the symptoms and stop fighting them you stop flooding your nervous system with fear hormones. Slowly your sensitised nerves begin to recover. No matter how long you have suffered.

Look, you've probably been fighting anxiety for years. What good has it done you? Exactly.

You win not by the punches you give but by the punches you take.

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That is a really interesting concept, and I totally get what you are saying, I can see how in theory that could work, what concerns me though is that any times I've stopped fighting my anxiety basically rolls over my like a tank till I lose even any abilities I have now, would it be safe to do this?

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Kittyjump, accept even that.

May I suggest a short book written many years ago which continues to sell in high numbers that explains this Acceptance method for recovery from anxiety disorder. It was written by Doctor Claire Weekes and is titled quite simply 'Self help for your nerves' abd is available new ir used from Amazon. It will bring you understanding, reassurance and a path to eventual recovery. It has helped thousands, what I wrote before us based on the Acceptance method. Either way, I wish you better days in the future.

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That's interesting :-) I'll check it out, has this method worked for you?

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Very much so, my anxiety disorder is inherited so it re-occurs from time to time but the method described in the book enables me to recover quickly.

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Ok that's cool :-) I'll check that out for sure, thanks :-)

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How are you doing KittyJump?

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Much the same to be honest, How are you?

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I hear ya. Struggling to make it through each day but looking for beautiful moments to try to focus on.

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That’s the issue, don’t fight it and don’t struggle. Make peace with it.

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Interesting theory, but how do I make peace with something they fills me with terror and fear daily and makes me do things like compulsions I don't want to do?

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Don’t go by the compulsions, expose yourself to the fears of not doing as you think you should. When the symptoms come, embrace them and learn to handle them. Don’t make a big deal out of them, and learn to live with them. Once these symptoms engulf your normal life and you’ve learned to not let it bother you, then you will most likely get away from them. For instance, I have three symptoms of anxiety, along with a bit of health anxiety, but I’m making peace with them. I had anxiety that concentrated me onto my breathing, and guess what? I learned to consider it as my new life, and not let it terrify me. And trust me, once you find yourself thinking about your breathing 24/7, it can be very complicated. I went through that fear, and overcame it. Only times it ever bothers me is if it sneaks up on me and makes me fear it again. This also caused me to think I wasn’t getting enough oxygen, and I felt out of breath when I concentrated on these things. I learned to let it go, and I feel better. If it comes back, I don’t fear it and I consider it as the norm. For this whole week, I’ve been devastated by a fear of getting ALS and dying as a result of it. I haven’t been eating, I’ve had many panic attacks, threw up daily, got light headed, dizzy, felt depressed, and etc. Just 2 days ago, I came over that fear because I learned that I had nothing to fear. The symptoms I was getting were terrible to the extent in which I didn’t care about dying, and so I just learned to not fear death in itself. Due to that, my fear of ALS is pretty much gone at this point, and that’s because I’ve detattched negative emotions from the thought of it. Now, I have some subsiding symptoms, such as headaches, loss of appetite, and throwing up every morning, but I have no fear from that. It’s pain, and it’s temporary. The more I fear it, the more the fear will come to reality. Just do things you love, and anxiety will go away. Trust me, I’ve had anxiety since I was a kid. If my parents went out, I’d think they abandoned me, and I’d start panicking and crying. When I was 6, I remembered feeling no trust for anyone in my whole family, but my mother. I thought if anyone but my mom took me somewhere, they were going to kidnap me and hurt me. When I had my first day in elementary school, I cried all day and panicked terribly because I thought I was going to get lost in school, and I’d never be able to go home again. I have so many other terrible stories of anxiety, but I’ve exposed myself to these feelings to the extent in which they don’t affect me much anymore. Just try to not worry about your symptoms, and find something to do that takes up a lot of thinking. Before my anxiety creeped up on my daily habits, I was playing online games and constantly thinking about them, I’d also occasionaly watch tv shows. I’ve gone back to these habits, and honestly, idc what symptom is in my way, I love life and I will enjoy it as best as I can. Good luck, and if you need anything else, just ask. Sorry for the essay. :P

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No need to apologise that's all good stuff :-)

I have severe OCD that makes me do compulsions that can last up to 12 hours, I am unsure how to make peace with that accept obeying my OCD and its demands? That seems to make it demand more?

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Can you give me an example of your obsessions and compulsions? My anxiety made me go through OCD towards breathing, how often I needed to urinate, and blinking. I fixed them all through distractions. They occasionaly come back, but I welcome them into my life happily. That’s because I know I have nothing to fear, and that they will subside as long as I don’t feed them attention. By fearing something, you feed it attention, and as a result, cause it to constantly intrude your thoughts and bother you. Give me examples of your OCD and I can try and help.

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Thanks :-) my OCD is all about contamination so for example I'll see a stain on a shirt and I'll then be stripping off all my clothes and manically cleaning everything for hours because I am unsure of the origin of the stain and assuming the worst, is hard to resist :-(

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So what thought causes the fear when you see a stain? “Oh it’s dirty, eww nooo!” “Noo, there’s a stain, it’s going to cause me to get a disease”, and etc?

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I assume that it is life threatening and it will kill me and then my survival feelings kick in and I go into protection mode

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Okay, so you assume the stains are going to cause an infection right? If so, does it have to be a specific color or anything? Explain what goes in your head once you see the stain, tell me which thought exactly causes you to panic and freak out.

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It's the thought that the stain could be a direct threat to my life and survival and that it will kill me :-(

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Then when you see another stain, try to calm down and expand on the amount of time it takes you to take the shirt off or rip it. Try to resist what your mind finds logical, and start from there. Each time it happens, resist longer and longer.

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Sadly I find the anxiety too strong to resist :-(

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Trust me, make up a specific amount of time before you let it get to you. If you don’t try, you won’t get better, and so please give it a go.

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Do you mean resist doing the compulsion for a set time?

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Exactly. Wish you luck!

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Thanks :-)

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Emotionally train yourself to not fear your thoughts. It works very efficiently, once you can learn to have control of your emotions, the faster you’ll heal. I’m starting to heal completely from anxiety, and I haven’t been my normal self for a month (not really a long time, but I don’t think that makes a difference in terms of recovery). Just rearrange your thought patterns, and learn to make peace with thoughts that terrify you.

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Have you looked at supplementation too? This is just something I have started to learn more about, worth researching, may hold some answers :-)

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