Feeling pressured

[SadSmile90]

Hi,

I’ve been off work for a couple of weeks now as my anxiety attacks returned with a vengeance.

I had some CBT sessions back in 2016 to help my PTSD after a traumatic event in 2013. It took me a while to seek help- but when I did I was convinced I had dealt with my issues and was able to carry on with life. Fast forward to 2018 and my anxiety has come back with a bang. I haven’t been able to go to work.. I have quite a long drive to and from work every day and it feels like it’s pointless. It’s pointless when I get to work and stare at the screen as I just don’t feel valued- I don’t feel like anything I get done is appreciated and I just want to curl up at home.

I work in a team of predominantly women- all very different but all very powerful, intelligent characters but if I’m honest I feel totally lost in it all now. I don’t feel like I click with any of them (except for one but to be honest she has her own things to work through and I can’t face being a burden on her).

My manager wants me back in next Monday.. I’ve gotten off the phone to her and immediately my heart is racing and I’ve got the wave sensation coming over me. I just don’t think I ever want to go back there.

Has anyone got any advice for how I can get life back on track?

I haven’t really got anyone I can confide in so would really appreciate anyone’s advice.. thanks in advance

[LesleyW11]

Hey I can totally relate to how you are feeling right now. Its so hard to open up about anxiety especially when it appears your work are not being supportive. You need to take the time to start helping yourself and make good decisions. There is no quick fix but I would definitely recommend reading 'The Happiness Trap'. It's such a good book. Take care x

[Jeff1943]

Work is therepeutic for people with anxiety disorder. The distraction of the job is a break from obsessing about every bad feeling or strange thought we have.

The way you see yourself at work may not be the way your co-workers see you. You may be undervaluing yourself. But if you don't feel comfortable maybe start looking around for something you'd enjoy more.

Either way, you must go back and give it your best shot, it's a matter of reputation and self respect.

Call me old-fashioned but that's what I'd do.

You can carry on working even if you're having palpatations or a panic attack. You know they're not life threatening, it's just your nerves short circuiting because they've been frazzled by fear and the fear of fear for too long.

Say: "So I'm having a panic attack, so what? I can still think and speak even though I'm feeling uncomfortable, why not? A panic attack and raised pulse aren't going to kill me so who cares? I'm not going to let nerves dictate my life, tell me what to do. In fact f**k off, panic attack, I can't be bothered with you any more. Go on, get lost, I've got things to do far more important than you.!"