Anxiety Support
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wanting to leave

Come tuesday is my sisters 21st birthday & she is begging me to go out to the bar. i REALLY want to go but i’m afraid i’ll die or ruin her birthday. I don’t know what to do. i don’t wanna work myself up to go now, then when tuesday night comes, i punk out...i don’t wanna upset her or put myself in a deeper depression. the bar is only a block or two away. like i can see my house from the bar. i feel like that should calm me a little bit. but doesn’t anyone have any tips or advice? i’d truly appreciate it 😍

7 Replies

xo_haili, all your bad feelings are just your nervous system playing tricks on you. The bad feelings can't kill you or make you pass out in a public place. Your mind knows you're anxious and the agoraphobia is its misguided way of trying to help you by making you stay in your safety zone.

Anxiety makes normal concerns seem ten times worse. Nobody wants to die before their full term but anxiety exaggerates that natural concern tenfold into a feeling that death is imminant.

I say: honour your sister's birthday by going to the bar. You're not going to drop dead and you're not going to collapse because even legs that feel like jelly will take you there and back. I promise you, you will come to no harm if you walk down the street and spend time in that bar.

So you're going to feel bad, so what? Do it anyway, accept the bad feeling for the time being. Put a brave face on and go, why not? Say to yourself: "I'm going to my sister's 21st birthday and I may feel lousy, who cares? I don't, it's only for one evening for Heaven's sake! Is that asking too much? Am I going to let jangled nerves keep me a prisoner in my home? Fuck that, I'm going anyway and all the bad feelings in the world aren't going to stop me! Do your worst, bad feelings, I know how to deal with you. I just have to accept you for the time being and stop fighting you. Fighting you only causes more tension, I'm going to neglect you from now on. So get lost, if I feel lousy so what?"

Do what you fear and the death of fear is assured. The brave man dies once, the coward a thousand times. But you are no coward because you know that whatever troubles come our way we are given the strength to overcome them. No exceptions.

So you're going to your sister's birthday, that's settled. You'll have a nice time, believe me, anxious or not. If you have a bad feeling just stay cool and let it pass. You could be in danger of enjoying yourself.😃


Jeff, Thank much. Honestly...this made me feel so much better


Jeff is always right. U can do this hun


Thank you Danielle!


Great reply from Jeff!

I would just say remind yourself you are choosing to go out. You could chose not to!

Once you remember this, it changes your internal dynamic. The option of staying home is there, but you are choosing to go out.

When you are at the bar, you chose whether to stay, or you chose to go home.

Choice empowers you!



THANK YOU!! i have to remember to keep that in mind!


Hey, you've been gone for months hope you're doing ok hun 🌻


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