My best friend passed away from cancer last year and since then I’ve had the worst health anxiety. Any little pain or discomfort I felt I would automatically assume the worst. I’ve had issues with my stomach and digestive system, tension headaches, chest pains, short of breath, and so forth. I feel like I wake up every morning with a new symptom and it’s starting to ware me out mentally and physically. I haven’t had one day in a year where I’ve felt normal. I have had ibs and fibromyalgia symptoms as well. If anybody has advice or feeling similar I’d love to hear from you.
Thank you!
Written by
Yuzy04
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Yuzy, I had most of those symptoms a few years ago when my best friend died prematurely and suddenly. What you're experiencing is the physical symptoms of grief. And of course when a close friend dies it reminds us of our own mortality.
It's no coincidence that many/most of your symptoms are to do with your stomach and bowels. This is the part of the body that is most sympathetic to anxiety and grief. You may find that ginger tea made from thinly sliced root ginger infused with hot water and left to brew will help calm your stomach. Other than that just accept all these symptoms of grief for the time being and with time you will come to accept your loss and you will recover. You will recover in time as you come to terms with your grief.
I thought I was reading about myself reading your post im exactly the same honey...my mum died of cancer in my arms 10 years ago and I still suffer with the condition it is very consuming and like you say physically and mentally exhausting.. @jeff1943 gave some very good advice there which I will also take on board every pain I have I too think the worst or I think I've got cancer like my mum and it just takes over you don't it when you try and explain it nobody who's never had it understands us..my own doctor gets frustrated with me tells me to go and have bed rest it's a very lonely illness too..I find as Well that the physical symptoms are absolutely awful like you say your stomach your bowels mine too..the only way im dealing with mine at the minute is im in group therapy but to be honest I think when we get it full swing everything we get taught goes out the window...but my new thing is realising it's a just a thought it's our minds playing tricks on us I even talk to my anxiety I tell it that im not afraid of you your not real it's my mind making me think this way and it will pass I've been here before and it will pass again I think we need to find a focus when it happens to help us calm down and think differently.
Thank you for replying, I will try to be brave like yourself and tell my anxiety when enough is enough. I hope I can get it under control before it drives my wife crazy. I am lucky to have an understanding and patient wife but I feel like a burden when I always tell her my physical symptoms.
I totally understand you I really do I too feel a burden my husband says im not but I believe I am..my husband has got rather mad with me sometimes and said"stop doing this to yourself I wish I could I really do I would give anything to feel whatever normal is again...I was such a bubbly loving laughable person now I feel I lost that part of me when I lost my mum and it's not very nice to feel that way..I don't know about you but I have very low self esteem and I always think I'm not loveable..
Health anxiety is also half grief it's took me this long to accept I have it but it's very hard and not that easy I think we will learn to control it in one way or another..but also we now know we are not alone it is normal and maybe we can help each Other cope as we know what it's like
Yep I have the same things but I went and got into see a psychologist which has helped me a lot more and has got me back on track numerous times over the past 4yrs it's really helpful.
Hi Yuzy I have experienced the same, but I have worked on myself gradually over 4 years, to try and find the good things in life to distract my thoughts, my friend was 47 and it was a never ending cycle of fears like omg will I be the same. No I said to myself, I realised her choice of lifestyle was not my choice and her health was being affected, she had a lot of issues but didn't do anything to help herself, so the way I see it is as long as you keep healthy, get some bereavement councilling, you wont have health anxiety, it is frustrating but remember to look after yourself. It prompted me, so now I have moved away from the pain it caused me. Grieving will give you these feeling as you are reacting to the loss. It is normal so be kind to yourself. All the best
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