For the past 7 years I have hated the holidays . I get really anxious during his time and also depressed. I do not like being around my family. I want to just run away sometimes because it’s too much to be around them. They are so dysfunctional. It seems like everything that I have been through in the past replays in my mind during this of year. I feel numb. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I wanna be happy and love my life. I feel like I’m stuck. I wanna meet new people. Make new friends and travel the world. I want to give my child a childhood that he does not have to heal from in the future like I am currently going through. I want to remove certain people out of my life who cause me anxiety.