Going outside

[kensteel12]

Ok. I’m about to take my first step outside in 5 years and 3 months. Here goes.

[kensteel12]

I’m outside. Ugh 😑. Panic attack. Oh no 🤦‍♂️

[Jeff1943 in reply to kensteel12]

Good news about panic attack as you will now be able to practice Acceptance. Go! Go! Go!

[kensteel12 in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you Jeff u are very knowledgeable about anxiety.

[Jeff1943 in reply to kensteel12]

The way forward, Ken, is often the opposite to the way that we think.

[DeeM3 in reply to kensteel12]

Lay on the ground. Take a deep cleansing breath. Listen to your surroundings. Count the trees, birds, stars, whatever you may see.

[Speechpat in reply to kensteel12]

Proud of you.

[Agora1]

kensteel12, "High Five" you took the most important step in your life today Take it from someone who also spent 5 years of their life in the house. Small steps lead to larger ones. Little by little get use to the sights and sounds of outdoors. I was amazed at how much had changed in 5 years in the stores as well as the neighborhood. It was nice to feel being a part of society again.

Try using and perfecting "deep breathing" to get you from one place to another. It lowers your anxiety level. You cannot be deep breathing and scared at the same time. When heading outside, don't look down, keep your body in alignment, walk forward with confidence allowing your step to firmly plant each foot on the ground. It's like learning to skate, once you get into the rhythm of your body moving it gets easy.

Continue using the forum for support as well as keeping us updated. We are always behind you x

[kensteel12 in reply to Agora1]

Wow. More great advice and encouragement. Everyone here is so wonderful. Thank you 😊 so much. Doesn’t feel like it’s enough to say thank you. I was only outside for 15 seconds. Little at a time.

[Agora1 in reply to kensteel12]

That's how it starts. 15 seconds to stick my nose out the door and get the mail. Gee, I had felt like I won the lottery Never push, steps will be taken when you are ready. Believe me, after 5 years I was more than ready. I sat in my car in the garage w/o it being turned on, I drove it to the end of the drive and went no where. I drove it around the block and right back home. Little steps to some but huge for us. I knew I was on my way to success when down the road I attempted my first drive to the Dollar Shop. Apprehensive but wanting to go so much. I walked in, grabbed a cart, used my deep breathing and within moments, it was like I had been there yesterday. Everything became so familiar, so much fun going up and down the isles that I forgot that I had been agoraphobic.

An hour and a half later, I checked out with bags of my dollar treasures. I swear I think I skipped to the car, I was so happy. This is how it will be for you as well. Don't rush it unless you are up to it. I had forgotten how much fun it could be in getting out. x

[kensteel12 in reply to Agora1]

Wow well done agora1. I hope I get to that point. I’m feeling more and more confident I can do it.

[amanda19608 in reply to kensteel12]

There are some fantastic members on this forum that are always here to help and listen. I honestly can’t thank them enough, they have really gotten me through the tough days.

They are a fantastic group of people. Hope you find this forum as helpful as I and many others have 😀

[amanda19608]

Keep up the good work Ken. I was agraphobic myself many years ago small steps it does get easier each time

[kensteel12 in reply to amanda19608]

How long did it take you to overcome it

[amanda19608 in reply to kensteel12]

It did take a few months to finally start getting out and about again fully.

I started by just standing at my front door for a few minutes each day then moved onto walking up my street and back. Then just going a little further each time until eventually I was going out and about without the feeling of wanting to run back home to safety.

Just start with small steps at a time and it will get easier.

well done for taking the first steps today.

[seaShelly]

I'm very happy for you. I don't have the same exact manifestation of anxiety / panic but I feel like I can understand it. I have issues with eating foods and worry about all kinds of strange outcomes. I severly limited what I would eat as I only ate "safe foods". Occasionally I "step outside the front door" and eat a new food. Im happy to say that it's now been probably a year since having a panic attack.

[kensteel12 in reply to seaShelly]

Year without a panic attack. That’s great 😁. I wish I could go a day without one. Lol. Yeah you hear a lot about what to eat and not to eat, can drive u around the bend. Everything in moderation is a good rule of thumb.

[lovedogs51511]

Hi Ken. You and I are dealing with same issues. Its hard for me too to just go outside and go for a walk etc. I do my best and try to talk myself thru the anxiety. Its very scary but I get out once and a great while. I have to go to the grocery store and have to go to my doctors every two months. Sitting in the waiting room makes my anxiety go thru the roof!!! My anxiety comes from the dirty looks I always get. I hate myself and just go right back home and hide. How do you deal with this situation? Can you go anywhere like to the store etc?

[kensteel12 in reply to lovedogs51511]

I can’t make it out the door just today for the first time in 5 years I went outside for a few seconds then scurried back in

[lovedogs51511 in reply to kensteel12]

I totally understand how you feel!!! I stay in bed all day everyday. I feel very hopeless. I'm proud of you making the effort and taking a few seconds outside!!😀 Merry Xmas and hopefully a great new years!!

[Jeff1943 in reply to lovedogs51511]

Lovedogs, thinking about how bad you'll feel if you go out is worse than how you feel when you do go out. You have to experience the bad feeling of going out in order to pass through it and banish it for ever.

To do this you need to go out, experience the bad feeling and accept the feeling for the time being. You know it's "only" a bad feeling and is devoid of danger. To recover you need to feel the bad feeling and accept it utterly. When you get used to doing it and accepting it then you eventually lose your fear of it, even though you feel uncomfortable getting to that point. But when you do get to that point you recover - you can go outside without feeling bad.

Lovedogs, why not do it now. Go to your front door now while this discussion is fresh in your mind, step outside and walk round the block. You're going to feel panicky but say to yourself "So what? I have a bad feeling, but I will accept it because it will help me recover. I am strong and brave enough to do this and I know we are never sent trials without the courage to overcome them!"

Why not do it now, Lovedogs, rather than spend days agonising about going out. If you do then when you return, no matter how much time you were outside, you will feel euphoric.

There is an old joke about agoraphobia which actually contains a grain of truth so forgive me for telling a joke about agoraphobia:

"The cure for agoraphobia is just around the corner!"

😊

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Jeff1943]

Hi there! I love the joke😀😀😀 That's so funny. Thanks for the message. I'm now back from my walk. I only went cause nobody is outside. I still felt awful. Its going to scare the heck out of me to do it during the week. The reason being for that is cause a high school is across my apt complex. The only thing keeping me locked in my apt is when ppl give me nothing but dirty looks. I keep telling myself why do they stare? Its like they like making me feel like dirt. The other problem is that I don't have a car right now So I have to ride a scooter. I'm out in the open with no protection like you have in a car. Well all I can do is my best and take it slowly. Thanks again Jeff. Wishing you a very merry Xmas And a great new year!!

[Agora1 in reply to lovedogs51511]

lovedogs51511, Give yourself credit for taking that walk whether people were out or not. You did it. One step closer in going forward. A little each day does count. xx

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Agora1]

I hope it will get better with time and baby steps. Thanks for the message!! Hope you are doing good too😀

[Jeff1943 in reply to lovedogs51511]

Lovedogs, so glad you went for the walk, my congratulations, as the old saying goes: "Do what you fear and the death of fear is assured." Maybe if you go out for a walk on a regular basis, and just accept that you're going to feel lousy, and accept the bad feeling as calmly as you can, it's going to take a lot of walks, Lovedogs, but you gradually gain confidence because you've proved you can go out and you weren't struck by a meteorite from Mars. And the more you do it eventually the easier it becomes because you're no longer scaring yourself half to death before and during your going out. So say: "Hey, this going out thing isn't quite so bad after all and I'm going to keep doing it until I can say 'O.K., I can deal with this panicky feeling specially as I know that to keep on doing it means I'll lose my agoraphobia completely one day before too long!"

As for all these people who are supposed to be giving you dirty looks, they don't even know you so why would they give you dirty looks? No, maybe they've just noticed you look apprehensive and a bit fearful so give you a puzzled look. But that's their problem not yours, no way are you going to stay home because of some staring strangers, just give them a stare back. I think you've done great.

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Jeff1943]

Thanks a bunch!!! Hopefully I can go back out when there's actual more ppl than today. All I can do is keep trying like you said. Hoping for the best. Thanks for being so caring.

[denvajade]

Hi Ken I do not suffer from this but I will tell you I feel very proud of you! As everyone said tiny steps.

I have other issues and find life hard too. 🤗

[kensteel12 in reply to denvajade]

Denvajade what type of struggles r you having please expand.

[sunrisesunset]

Just remember that one day you'll look back and see how far you've come. There's a great world out there and it'll be nice to enjoy it.

Have you heard of the 5 Second Rule? There are free videos on youtube. You count down from 5 to 1 and then picture your "anchor thought". That thought is your happy thought. The positive place/person/thing you're looking forward to. Keep that in mind when panic tries to scare you.

[Chocolisk]

My dog has been a life saver, otherwise I would have been housebound for sure. I try to go out (just in my immediate area) every 4 hours for walkies, some days I make it further and others I’m lucky if I can get two steps outside my door. It’s just so tiring, my anxiety is so draining but I try breathing techniques and concentrate on my dog. I can go out with my mum, although sometimes I can’t leave the car! Lol. Keep trying, that’s all you can do and don’t beat yourself up if some days you can’t. Good luck xx