I'm going crazy...

[Annielane]

I feel strange today. Like I'm completely losing my mind. Everything feels weird and I feel like I might fall over or pass out but at the same time I don't. It's like it's not me that would be falling. But this feeling is different than the depersonalization thing. This feels almost scarier. I feel panicky. I feel wrong and awful and.. Words play on repeat in my mind. Rude. Mean. Ungrateful. Selfish. All the things my mom has called me. All the things that I am. That are me. All because of the demons that I can't explain. The pain that shouldn't be real. The memories that keep me awake at night. Haunting me at all hours. I'm definitely losing it. I'm going crazy. No more control. The anger boils always. The noise of everyday life overwhelms me. It clashes with the noise in my head. I'm going insane.

[Maggie-cassidy1988]

Am the same a think an just going to die any min off day

[Annielane in reply to Maggie-cassidy1988]

I'm sorry you experience this too. Ugh. This sucks. Maggie-cassidy1988

[Maggie-cassidy1988 in reply to Annielane]

Yeh ano do u think your going yo die any min to

[Annielane in reply to Maggie-cassidy1988]

Not really. I'm not afraid of death though. I am tired of living most days, but I try to stay strong. Maggie-cassidy1988

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Annielane]

I feel tired of living too(**I WANT TO LIVE**) but because it seems I have to use every single bit of strength in me just to do normal everyday things. With zero left for my enjoyment. I feel trapped inside. It is so painful.

[Annielane in reply to Stay_strong85]

Exactly! I just want to be the happy girl I used to be. I'm so afraid that she's gone. Stay_strong85

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Annielane]

I am so afraid too, I feel like I am dead inside.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Stay_strong85]

I was so truly happy and confident and brave...now I am scared of my own body and feelings. Ugh I could cry.

[Annielane in reply to Stay_strong85]

ya I know what you mean. I hate being so afraid all the time. its like, I don't want to die, but I'm tired of living; or from living I guess.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Annielane]

Because being alive has become so terrifying.

[Annielane in reply to Stay_strong85]

ya... I don't feel safe anymore and I don't trust anyone. its awful. Stay_strong85

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Annielane]

I am sorry...this is so hard to go through. Keep the hope. We can beat this. Trust me I know it's rough. Let's try to believe in ourselves again.

[Annielane in reply to Stay_strong85]

You're right.. Okay.

[Stay_strong85]

I hear ya. I know. Check out my post...it is under **What are your thoughts on this**.

[Annielane in reply to Stay_strong85]

okay I will, thanks. Stay_strong85

[Maggie-cassidy1988]

Yeh its so scary amd hard a just keep thinking am going to die any min off fay ma body feels week just whant my old swlf back again