I have been fighting so hard just like I preach to others only to end up laying here across my bed (still) at 2:28am playing in my hair and becoming afraid because my chest pains won’t go away. Trying to breathe...trying to stop my thoughts. Twirling in my hair. I haven’t had a panic attack or suicidal thoughts in a month now but idk.I’ve literally been drowning myself in other people’s worries thru this site, at work, volunteer, random people, and associates. I guess I can’t avoid my problems. I try to because it’s so overwhelming and I can’t figure them out. Too many. It’s funny how i can help others but can’t help myself.
I guess today is one of them days. I’ll just sit in my sorrows. I just want a peace of mind. But I don’t want to cry and feel cold as this morning weather. I wish I could get my sh!d together. And my mother said this was all in my head ! Sigh.
I just love the irony in your words, " It’s funny how i can help others but can’t help myself." I am often in the same boat as you.
To a certain extent you mother, the amateur psychologist, is right - thoughts and feelings do originate in the brain cells. What to do about it at this time of the day is another matter.
Right now, you need to anything but think in your bedroom. Get up and do something in another room. Come back when you are ready for sleep.
We shouldn't try to solve our problems on our own. Sometimes we need to see a psychologist for some expert advice.
P.S. Crying can be good for you because it releases all the bad chemicals running around in your body.
Regards from OZ
What advise would you give to you if you were standing in front of yourself ?
That's where you're going wrong, lovelymix, it's the fourth word in your posting. You're "fighting" your anxiety: the worst thing possible you can do. Fighting produces more tension, more strain, and your over-sensitised nervous system needs LESS not MORE of that.
Instead, when the bad feelings of anxiety disorder come like muscular tension in your chest or panic episodes surrender to them. Don't stsrt fighting them under any circumstances. Instead, accept them for the time being as calmly as you can. Don't add second fear to the first fear because that only keeps your nerves sensitised, they thrive on the fear you generate.
Let the feelings come abd meet them with relaxation not tension, let everymuscle in your body go limp, feel your arms and legs go limp, then your body, your jaw and then your brain. Yes, imagine you have a large muscle in your head abd feel that go limp and relax too.
Acceptance is the key to your recovery from anxiety disorder. You know by now that nervous symptoms are imposters, they are fake and fraudulent. In your case they affect your chest causing pain, but it's not heart trouble it's your nerves trying to frighten you. But the power of anxiety is limited, it's not life-threatening, it can't disable you or make you lose your mind. So just accept those bad feelings calmly for the time being, you can put up with them for a while longer now you know how to send them packing - through Acceptance.
Cultivate that new attitude of Acceptance and just float through your day attaching less importance to the symptoms. With practice and persistance you too can join the happy hopeful band of travellers on the Yellow Brick Road to recovery.
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CBT has been a godsend. 
I’ll never be able to do this
Not expecting any response it just need to write
Anxiety is ruining my life
I’m not strong enough for life?
