I have just started my new job, and I have this really lazy senior who always made me do her job. I had spoken my frustration about it to my other colleague, and she just said that she felt the same way when she just started too.
(during my first few days, I was afraid to use the microphone, so I always welcomed the guests and poured them drink even when it's her duty day. I told her I liked pouring drinks, but after that she became more abusive, and made me pour drinks for every single guest even when I'm busy. Or blame me for not pouring drinks when I had other things on hand.)
My senior mentioned that I said liked pouring drinks when my boss brought this issue up.
But recently, I had changed my views on this lazy senior, thinking that other than her being lazy, she is harmless. I just did the job for her whenever she is busy.
My boss apparently found out, and said to me that I shouldn't go around talking behind people's back like that.
And now, I became a two faced idiot to everyone in this place. I didn't even talk bad of her. Only mentioned she made me do everything, and how I was not feeling good about it.
I didn't want to talk to my boss about it since it's not a big matter, and don't want to make our relationship bad. Plus, I didn't mind doing things for her after a while.
What should I do?
I hate myself for being misunderstood all the time, and unable to explain myself properly when it comes to things like these. I'm scared and upset.
Written by
Risaxz
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You were doing your very best to please...it sounds as though you may be the same as me..a People PLEASER...A BAD THING TO BE !.......others tap into this vulnerability and use it against you if they are slightly narcicistic.
You can either start standing up for yourself so that she will begin to respect you or try and change your job.
I don't think that, now she has you under her thumb she will stop what amounts to bullying you.
She has probably been using the same tactics on others too.
Make a friend, a reliable one, this might help...or try and see it as an amusing episode...or tell yourself that she has maybe very unhappy herself and us using you as a scapegoat.
Try not to let her get you down.
If it continues........go to her senior and lodge a bullying complaint..,as long as you are doing your job properly.
I started to stand up for myself, starting by explaining that I was unhappy with this senior in the beginning, but now I'm fine.
My boss still twisted things, and said that it's my fault for being a petty person, going around talking behind people's back. When if my senior actually did the right things, nothing would have happened.
Thanks for your long advice. I spent time reading it, again and again. I guess I am a people pleaser. I hate hurting anyone by my actions. But at the same time, trying not to hurt anyone, could end up hurting someone inevitably.
Don't never hate yourself , other's are misunderstood all the time. I don't think that your being 2 faced I just think you letting everyone know how your day is going at work , and so happens she's making you do everything , when working together so all you doing is telling it like it is. when you working you never supposed to let your co worker's know you really enjoy doing your job because some will hold that against you. I used to let ppl take advantage of me all the time, I got older and won't never let it happen again. so what you won't do is talk to ppl you don't trust, sometimes it's best for ppl to not know your problems or how you feel. they hold it against you. just do your job that you are assigned to, and let her do hers . you not getting an extra pay check , so don't do it. nd if she gets mad , o well so be it tell her quit
I had always been careful of telling people what I enjoy doing during work. But I didn't really understand why. And at that time, I was desperate. I was running away from some really minor task that I'm afraid to do. So I told her that I liked pouring drinks.
Thanks for your advice. I know why I can't let people know what I like doing now.
She tells me to do her part, because I was new, and didn't know about the administrative things. I thought that way too, until I can do those administrative tasks, she still did that to me.
Yea,wen we start a new job or anything new we kinda don't know to much until we get about 2/3 years of experience in, but yea forget her nd do you always
Some have a lot more than two faces....just do what they pay you to do , be pleasant but don't trust until you really know people and his they react with others....if they bitch about other people they will bitch about you.
I'm sure you will be fine, trust in yourself, and if she bitches again tell yourself that she's had a bad day...or a bad night........smile and say "oh, I'm sorry if you feel that way."
Good luck....and remember we can't please everybody.
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Depressed Daughter and heart broken
How much more can i take? :(
faced the fear :-)
