Farmingdale 40 minutes of hell

Im very nervous i finally have to take that drive as a passenger to farmingdale for work related things.. the moment i go im gonna start to feel as if i cant breathe.. how does one ALLOW that symptom?


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  • I hope you get through it just fine!!Will there be only you and the driver in the car?Or will there be others?

  • It would have just been the driver and me but i backed out of doing it and stayed back.. my anxiety ruins my life when it comes to being able to go on adventures wether it be work related or leisure activities withcmy fiance /: i wanna live but i cant!

  • Don’t beat yourself up over it.There are days when anxiety might win over us.Maybe you could try going for short drives with your fiance first someday?Since he’s someone that knows you really well!

  • She lol im a guy and even short distances are nightmares lol

  • Whoops!My apologies!Ah yeah..there’s just something about cars that amps anxiety up.Idk if it’s because it’s an enclosed area or when I get stuck in a traffic jam and see all the cars around me,I just get super nervous.

  • My fear is on the higheays i fear that it would take too mong for EMS or fire department to get to my rescue (i am in the Ems/fire department but eah department responds at different times) also i fear being STUCK in traffic where i cant wscape if i need to make a u turn one way roads are TERRIBLE for me unless they are very short lol but if i cant make that quick uturn even though most u turns are illegal and you get ticketed over in NY for i just like to know i have an escape route or a back up plan incase things go south.. thats generally my fears when i drive its not about grtting into an accident its more of like hesrt attacks or something we cant really truly control.. i cant even be a passaenger eith out feeling such ways i just jave a fear about CONTROL lol trains are another thing so its not just cars its getting out of my town aka AGORAPHOBIC

  • Im responding to the post about traffic. I have gotten this way and just reading this makes me sweat and get queasy.

  • Dude what part of n y are u in? I'm in queens.

  • Im far away from queens haha im like 45 minutes away

  • Kev if u ever want to try something new let me know I can go w u and help u. I been there man

  • I'm serious bro even if u wanna take a walk to the park and b.s. U let me know I'll come by u

  • Bittersweet. You found the strength to say NO, not today. Be proud that you took care of yourself today.

    I'm impressed with how you chose to take care. Relax, its over. Dont give it another thought.

  • Ah,I get what you mean now.Because there’s lots of things that we can’t control when we’re in a car or taking public transport.I get motion sickness when I ride in a car,so I’m mostly worried about throwing up and making a fool of myself.Ugh.Trains...they’re the worst to be in when it’s peak hour.Everyone squeezing in until it takes forever for the doors to closezzz

  • I have just never saw a sign of relief.. i have gone on the highway recently and i had almost full blown panic attack but breathing deep helped so much but the fear of going through that all over again is just what prevents me.. i felt i was gonna pass out but i never did and i was in fear ofpassing out behind the wheel or what would happen if i lost my mind during that anxiety attack as it was bumper to bumper traffic i managed to get to the destination safely but i swore id never out myself throgh that again i just cant put my mind to realize fighting it like putting yorself through it to get used to the feelings are what i need to do in order to gain control of my life again but its so hard to just face these physical symptoms and realize YOUR NOT GONNA DIE i know all about anxiety but the moment im in a state of anxiety or almost panic mode i just forget EVERYTHING i ever researched over the course of 5 years because the symptoms are just so enhanced and i just feel as if im dying..

  • Im not alone! 😌

  • Your never alone! Im here if you wanna discuss anything anytime!

  • I can relate to everything you said above.Especially the part about forgetting whatever I’ve learnt when anxiety hits:When I’m feeling normal,I tell myself that the anxiety WILL pass and that nothing bad’s going to happen.But when the anxiety hits,it’s another story altogether.I’m terrified to the point where I feel like I’m in a situation where nothing can’s honestly tiring living like this because it feels like anxiety is controlling my life in these kind of situations.Because the symptoms feel so REAL.I know it’s because I’m anxious at the moment,but reasoning with myself doesn’t seem to work when that happens.

  • Yeah when you lose control from the panic attack there is nothing that you can say or sometimes even do that makes it better.. i lose all hope when i grt super anxious its terrible how much we learn about it but in the moment its as if we started from scratch ALSO anxiety controls my life currently not gonna lie.. ot sucks but i am still breathing day by day -_-

  • Yeah,the fact that we’re still alive after each night is consolation enough for me.That I’m still able-bodied and able to do other stuff.I wish anxiety wouldn just take a backseat for good and let us live our lives without any worries about this and that.Then again,I believe there are days where we’re capable of being stronger than anxiety!

  • If im not leaving my town im perfectly fine infact im dare devil fine lol but the moment i leave my town im the wimpy kid that gets picked on (trying to be metaphoric) but yeah thats basically how i feel compared to whn i leave my town

  • I guess it’s because when we’re in a place where we’re really familiar with,it feels like there’s nothing to fear.Anxiety’s a bitch for picking on our weak spots.It makes doing things so difficult at times.

  • It makes us worry about living when we are trying to live lifes short enough and we aint able to do what we want when we want its hard very hard

  • Yeah...I can’t help but to think that every little thing is going to cause my death.And it’s just frustrating because there’s so many things that I want to do..

  • Yeah i had this POP in my head and right after than i had a fever and i swore i was dying i swore i had just experienced an aneurysm the oddest thing was it happened when i was playing guitar hero and i have NEVER had that in my LIFE i was PETRIFIED never went to the doctor this was a good year and a half ago i was SO WORRIED that i lost sleep for a good day and was having PANIC ATTACK after panic attack i was forced out of my house and was PETRIFIED because i swore i was dying and i was told to go on an errand run with my family friend who was dog sitting for my parents it was TERRIFIYIG but im alive i had a great few months of HELL because i couldnt even leave my house i swore it would happen again but it happened on the temple of my left side then 6 months or so later it happened on the right temple i was petrified again! And now im good idk its so strange..but i swore my brain POPPED or a vessel i thought i was gonna have INTERNAL bleeding or a brain bleed IDK but i was BEYOND SCARED STRAIGHT the oddest part is it was a straight pain then a POP then it just disappeared right after that i had that FEVER feeling idk if i actually had a fever i think it was a little hogh but that coulda been the anxiety attafk causing it at the time of this i didnt think or know anything on anxiety

  • That sounds terrifying.I would have reacted the same way if that had happened to me.Though I’m glad that you’re alright now.Anxiety always seems to magnify our symptoms.A slight pain/ache somewhere and I think of the worst case scenario.It didn’t use to be like tha,but I guess that’s how I live these days.I know the symptoms will pass,but that doesn’t make me feel any better..

  • Hi, I think I've read your other posts saying you don't want to take meds. Nobody does but then you can't live your life. My family wanted to drive to Quebec City last summer and I'm like you described exactly so I got an R/X for Lorazapam 0.5 and I even cut those in half! She gave me 10 pills and I didn't even use them all cause even just knowing you have them with you somehow keeps you calmer! It worked for me driving as a passenger. I can't go on trains or buses or planes cause of lack of control. Its not being in the air it's knowing you can't get out!! Ahhhh.I used to be the one planning day trips but now it's too stressful which is sad and very annoying. I'm going to get Lorazapam again for those kinds of things. I'm pretty sure this happened to me cause I almost died in childbirth which was the Dr fault. Went in calm as a clam and now I'm always on guard. We're just ultra sensitive people but somehow we will get tougher over time. Take care 😊

  • Yeah i have tried anxiety meds (zoloft) it didnt work.. and no doctor likes prescribing the good stuff (xanax) as thats really addictive and coming from an environment of my history with my biological parents being drug addicts i can see their fear of me being addicted to it or what eve rbut i had surgery and REFUSED to take oxycodin which is the most addictive thing Prescribed(as far as i know maybe its not true) but yeah i have tried the medicinal route dodnt like it and when i told my doctor it wasnt helping the next thing he did was up the dosage and still no luck and he changed it and i was just done with it.. i jsut truly know one day ill get over it with out meds..

  • It's all a control issue with me. I can't control the drivers on their phones or screaming at their kids in cars around me, I can't control help if I need it, I just don't want to get hit, but I can control how I drive and when. And I know the limit of the amount of anxiety I can handle and carry it around like luggage.

    There is something about anxiety and cars that sometimes just messes with our hearts, heads and lungs, isn't there?

    Particularly when every car is going 80mph and wants to drive right over the top of your car in a 45mph zone and you're trying to find that darn turn mapquest says exists. Where in the H are the cops then? I think I could make a fortune in speeding tickets for the state if I just called them when I was going to drive and they could just hang around me.

    Some days I know I should not drive if anxiety is too great. That's dangerous for me and others on the road. Other times I try to chill and prepare myself to get "back on the horse" and NOT OVER THINK IT. That actually works for me.

    If I know I need to go somewhere new, I make a dry run a day or so before during low traffic time. And I try to make app't for early afternoon to avoid rush hour traffic.

    And sometimes I can tell I really should take the .5 xanax rx by my neuropsychiatrist 30 minutes before I drive or if someone else is driving. He actually writes the script for that purpose as a "breakthrough" dose to help keep my anxiety from "breaking through" when otherwise I'm doing ok.

    I was hit by a very large truck years ago and the injuries totally disabled me from working. After I was physically able to drive, it took several years for me not to panic by just sitting in the front seat. I mean PANIC.

    I don't know if you are taking any rx for anxiety. If not, good for you. But I know the chemical make up of my body and maybe the subconscious memory of that accident would make me a recluse if I didn't take it. I see the neuropsychiatrist briefly each month to monitor it.

    If I can drive or ride in a car with someone else driving (unless he is Mad Max), you're definitely going to be able to also. Just need to figure out how and how much anxiety can tag along with y ou.

    Our business requires us to be on a ship monthly. By day 4 anxiety is going to smile and say "Hellooooo!" The xanax comes out of my drawer. I'm simply not going allow anxiety to destroy our family's livelihood my husband worked for 20 years of hard work to build, so I take the darn xanax, carry my limit of anxiety around like a piece of luggage and try to remember I know how to swim. (With up to 7000 people on board life jackets somewhere... lol)

    Best wishes on your "quest" in learning how not to feel you need to be in control all the time or know all the answers to be safe. :)

  • Yeah i wouldnt mind trying a pill such as xanax but again im very reluctant when it comes to medicines.. idk but i know if i had a pil lto ease me right then and therr not an every day pill like zoloft id be okay and understand that things would get better or id feel safer but i dont and cant :/ idk i barely like taking vitamins lmao also most doctors in NY wont give xanax for no reason before trying other crap and im not gonna be a guinea pig with pills i was like that as a child with my ADHD doctors loved giving me new meds to try i freaming hated it once i hit 18 i was like SCREW DOCTORS SCREW MEDICATIONS so maybe thats why i refuse pills lol

  • Hummmm. Treated as a guinea pig as a child simply because he learns differently, Hummmm he's "screwed" doctors and "screwed medications". Hmmm, hates vitamins. Hummmm, refuses "pills" due to childhood guinea pig. Hummmm, in New York where can't get xanax as med of first resort? (Is that actually true?) Hummmm, would like a med only have to take now and then. Hummmm. Checkmate. ANXIETY WINS!

    Your childhood is my truck accident. Anxiety over not being able control every thing, or changing evrything so we can control it.

    We're "screwed" with that thinking aren't we.

    Xanax can be addictive. Many meds can be. But chemistry is chemistry and I had to make a choice of the benefit over the possible side effects. After being bounced around from doctor to doctor after the truck hitting me, one thank heavens just said you have PTSD...which basically is anxiety, depression (maybe some anger) and, in my case, nightmares as my flashbacks.

    I have 1 mg of XXanax in a.m. and I race to take it before anxiety beats me to it while I am trying to shake off the last darn nightmare. Take one 1 mg Xanax several hours before bed to keep a steady level of it in my body's chemical make up. The .5 Xanax is the EMS. (NEVER go over 3mg total a day).

    Been doing this for a few years. Have had the need to stop Xanax because of surgery or whatever. Had no side effects or cravings from that it if it is gradually reduced.

    Can't immediately stop it all at once or my body chemistry says "seizure time"....and that was my stupid fault as I was doing great and thought I didn't need to take any Xanax for several days. WRONG. I'm was doing great because the Xanax and my body chemistry were in harmony.

    One doesn't pull out the spark plugs all at once when the car is running smoothly. Duhhhhhhh.

    So, Hummmm. I chose a quality of life over the fear of medication side effects. Because the only real thing I can control is me.

    And I keep the meds under lock and key...know what the street value is and had them disappear once after a certain member of my husband's family visited.

    Tried controlling everything around me and that simply didn't work and had very little quality of life.

    My final HUMMMMM. Please keep in mind we see post after post after post in this venue by people who are not doing well, hate their meds, hate their doctors, hate their lives, looking for help. We don't see many posts where people are doing ok on meds, cause they don't need us and have other things to do besides getting depressed or scared by reading some of these posts....or they are using PMs to people they clicked with and now enjoy hearing from them.

    So that's my HUmmmm and I'm sticking with it. :)

  • Got damn thats a ton of HUMMS lol but yeah i suppose your right and yeah its difficult finding a doctor that will prescribe xanax with someone of my background of drug abuse (not me but my biological parents) they worry ill get hooked on it or some bs story lol idk a patient cured is a customer lost..

  • Well, HUmmmmms are the only noise my brain makes when I am thinking. Rather have a lot of HUMmmms than trying to pry my foot out of my mouth by not thinking enough before writing something really stupid. Hey, maybe a patient helped is a compromise cause they won't think of you as a patient actually lost????

  • Haha good perspective but your right bout the hums arent humans interesting lmao

  • OH, you thought the "Huuuummmmms" were, no,'s more like humming a song rather than singing it. Or saying Hum! like you heard something interesting. Ok, good Lord....wonder how many people I have screwed up by using that brain thinking "Huuuummmmms". :)

  • No lmao im saying humans are interesting LOL i knew exCtly what HUMM was haha i was just saying the species humans are interesting creatures


  • Haha its okay i am never clear in my words my fiance and I have tough communication because of my adhd i cant ever get a proper sentence the average joe can create a sentence that is middle school level and id say the same phrase but it would be super slow or like its a puzzle and im trying to fit them in the right spots but it never fits the first time lmao 😂 adhd makes my mind go nuts and having anxiety with it is like giving candy to a baby off the walls

  • I tell my husband, men to speak in Morse code but seem to leave out dots and dashes so I don't understand what he means.

  • So true lmao we men speak in tongue

  • Hear, im in ohio. Xanax is monitored so closely that its been replaced by an antihistamine almost every where. To get a script like u have is impossible. Where do u live?

  • Very far south of you. Closer to the Caribbean than Ohio. They go for $2.50 US a piece in Cozumel. But mine are through US insurance and in the US and are a fraction of that cost. But my pain management doctor has known me so well for so long, he doesn't require a urine sample even for my pain meds, much less the xanax, which I buy as a generic brand. Doctors see me once a month for 15 minute checkup and the script is e-med (internet) directly to the pharmacy.

    In some states the MD take urine samples from any one on pain meds to cover their as*es. I got so disgusted when a new company took over the doctor's practice and handed me that darn cup in a plastic bag, I took it and threw it in the trash bin. You should have seen the woman literally climb over the counter and start digging through the trash and sputtering about something regarding my identify and need for that urine cup.

    I continued to sit. Then was called in to see the doctor, she was still dumpster diving. I had been treated by the doctor for two decades successfully and told her if she thought I was selling my meds, then how was I able to walk.

    The next month I went in for the checkup and meds RX, the dummies called my first name again and started to hand me that plastic bag with the urine cup again, but when they saw me, they quickly pulled it back and said I didn't need it. I offered to take it, but they suspected where it would be going.

    Yes I was a class A ASS that day. But since when do people get to put you in a greyhound bus station type waiting room and shout out your first name to pick up urine cups and bags. Have you sit back down and wait another 30 minute to shout out your first name again to go back and see the doctor. Chronically ill people who are on Medicaid desire some respect.

    Most of the people in that huge waiting room are those people, I am not, but thought someone had to stop that crap. And they have. They only test patients that are fitting a certain profile that indicates too much meds being begged for in too short a time without the medical conditions that match.

    And the patients are not called by their first names anymore.

    Cannot believe that is happening in Ohio, heck that's the midwest of the US....oh, wait....remember seeing news programs about med addiction and overdose problems really are horrible in the midwest now......I guess it's welcome to the world of southern US and the Caribbean. So sorry.

  • I live in NEw york LONG ISLAND

  • Kevo,my whole life, i toughed it out without medication. I do have Xanax in case of an emergency and I keep them with me. On Lexapro but i get breakthrough anxiety even on it.But

    I did find a product through Amazon called Calm Spirit tea pills. A Healer I went to many years ago offered them to me and I was reluctant to take them. When I finally took them it took the edge off.

    they are not addictive they are over-the-counter and they've really helped me. NO, ZERO side effects.

    I'm not prescribing I'm not suggesting I'm giving you a personal account of what I've done

  • Very interesting i have my own type of remedies too but ill do some digging on that and see if its right for me i like being my own doctor lmao

  • Apologies if you’ve heard this already but you should read Essential Help For Your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes. You probably know this but it isn’t the places you fear, it is the feelings of fear you fear the most. That book will tell you how to cope with those feelings the right way until they no longer matter. When they no longer matter, your anxiety will be history and you can go where you want, when you want.

  • Yeah i have been meaning to get this book but have been so busy to even try and get a paycheck lol but all over this site i hear it almost like its the bible everyones like worshipping this book and says it works wonders like its magical and i really wanna try it but just have been busy and havent gotten around to getting it i also hate readig LOL thanks t my adhd :)

  • I've bought and read the book. I listen to her tapes. I understand that the feelings can't kill me. However, when the panic comes on, and it still does ,i can say to myself"accept the feelings", you're ok, sit with it....but what that does is shine a flood light on my "freaking out" no sooth it.

    Thoughts , anyone?

  • Yeah im the same way it sheds light but doesnt help fully and i just dk if its because one time isnt gonna make a difference and if i keep doing it it wil lget better and do more for me but one time we gotta give it time keep practicing it

  • If it’s easier, check out a website called Anxiety No More (UK) which was created by Paul David who suffered with anxiety for many years. He recovered using the same teachings as Dr Weekes. I visited this site many times during my recovery and has a blog which was very helpful in understanding what was happening to me and why. That made it easier to allow anxiety to do whatever it wanted to do to me and lose my fear of it. Once you overcome fear, you are on the home straight. The mind and body may still register those feelings for a while longer, even after you’ve lost the fear because it takes time for the natural healing process to work its magic and for your sensitised nerves to change from DEFCON 5 to DEFCON 1. A bit like sinking a 3 pointer from down town after the buzzer 😎

  • I will deff take your advice and try the site thank you so much for your reply :) a little goes a long way!!

  • Yeah, Claire Weekes' and Paul David's books helped me A LOT! Kevo, you and I have very similar stories! I get the same symptoms as you, but I think my heart acts up more than yours. I am less agoraphobic, although I know exactly how you feel! I have panicked while driving and know how awful it is! The books above helped me so much, so I am able to drive and go places (I still sit near exits). About a month ago, I was in 4 lanes of traffic in Atlanta, I noticed I felt strange and real tired and my heart started fluttering/skipping beats and racing. I started to panic and wondered where the nearest hospital was. I wondered if an ambulance would be able to find me. I pictured myself dying alone in my car blocking traffic. Seriously. That's how my brain works. I worked my way over to the far right lane, but now I was on a long bridge, barely moving stuck in the traffic. I felt like I couldn't breathe right. My heart was pounding, racing and skipping more than ever and I thought I was about to die from it. I counted my pulse. It was 140. That scared me more. What if it gets worse? I wondered. I started positive self talk and tried to accept my overwhelming symptoms. I knew it was probably a panic attack, my palms were sweaty to validate that, but I felt awful! I did call my cardiologists office & told them my heart was irregular and I might need to go to the ER & asked if the nurse could call me back asap. Well, she never called, but after 15 mins of this hellish experience, somehow I got ok. I guess since I think I know what it is, and knowing what i learned from the books & other sites, I can accept it, so I do still drive. I don't fear these attacks as much as the ones that have woke me up in the middle of the night. That's probably why they happen less. But the nocturnal attacks? I have never been so sure I was dying! It's amazing how bad they can feel, isn't it!!!!

  • Lol, USAGOLD, ↑ this story is my my biggest nightmare.

    Im sweating and shaking thinking about it now. How did u sit still for the 15 minutes until it passed? My feet are even sweating...😌

  • Where the heck was I going to go? I had to sit there, but I was shaking trying to dial my phone calling my doctor's office. So far, everyone of these attacks have ended after about 15-20 mins, so even though my rabidly anxious mind is saying what if it doesn't end? What if it gets worse? I can say to myself it always ends. When I calm down, I feel bad and exhausted, yet remarkably good, considering. You might as well let your body do all that, and just wait it out. I had a difficult time last night. I woke up with the most nervous feeling you could imagine! It was in my stomach & was unbelievably intense. My heart sped up and starting skipping. I tried to take deep breaths, but like you've said, trying just made me more nervous. And I couldn't feel myself breathe, so the deep breaths didn't feel effective if that makes sense. My BP was way up. I laid there a nervous freaking wreck for about 15 mins, then it subsided & I went back to sleep. Have you ever had that happen? It was different from my other panic attacks.

  • Usagold, when that ^↑ happens to me 9 out of 10 times its a stomach or GI thing. Like a gas bubble pressing on the vagus nerve. As soon as it moves im fine.

  • You said you feel like you can't breathe and ask, "how does one accept that symptom?" You can accept it because even though we feel like we can't breathe, our bodies will keep breathing. You have to just let it feel that way and remind yourself of the truth that you will keep breathing and be fine. . I have a hard time doing that with my heart. I am not as convinced that it will get back into normal rhythm, stop skipping beats and slow back down before it infarcts first or something.

  • I had a heart problem since i was born and just recently got it resolved and my palpitations and heart skipping beats came to an end i had SVT and WPW after i got an ablation it resolved the palpitations and skipped beats so maybe nuutrition could be it for you but for me it was that and the wpw and svt any way yeah im having trouble building courage to go into the panic zone because of just how ill feel i could be percectly fine and never find out because im petrified of the fear of having an anxiety or panic attack and not have an escape or fear how ill be located exactly what you said is perfect way to describe how i think at times infact maybe most times i just need a little courage and i can go but im just so terrified of my anxiety..

  • If I were you, I would be greatly encouraged by having a fixed heart! Does it still race up when you get nervous? From the adrenaline? Mine used to go up to 160-170s, even hit 180 once on my BP monitor, during panic attacks, before I started taking a beta blocker to help slow it down. What you're experiencing, I'm telling you, since reading Hope & Help For Your Nerves, I'm able to accept those awful symptoms and let them happen. And, once you can do that, they literally (eventually) stop happening, b/c anxiety needs the fear for fuel. It's so interesting, but once you can say, oh here it is again, ha, it's making me feel like I'm smothering again and like I have to practically make myself breathe, it's ok, it's just a feeling, omg, how interesting that adrenaline makes me feel like this! I even feel extremely hot, yep, that's adrenaline, and woah, I feel faint and sick and dizzy... of course I do, that's all part of it. So what, let my body feel. These are only feelings! Oh they're intense! And the thoughts-- a panicking brain sends fearful doomsday thoughts in rapid succession. Know they are just thoughts, you are NOT dying, and line your thinking up with the truth! You are going to be so excited once you see it for what it is, trust the truth, and let it happen. But then, your body might try to add a new symptom to scare you. Mine did. The erratic heart symptoms. If I can accept that it's anxiety, it will probably stop happening, like the other stuff, but not many anxious people have such extreme heart symptoms, and hearts aren't supposed to race up so fast and skip a beat every few beats, so makes me think something is wrong with my heart electrically or a valve problem or that it's just weak or something. My doctor said it was fine, but....?

  • USAGOLD, i have the heart thing. And have for YEARS. I can become scared or angry, (thoughts) and my heart will skip like crazy. Its the adrenaline rush, and i hate it too.

  • You breath in and breath out and keep doing it. Nothing will happen to you you'll be fine jus concentrate on your breathing technique.

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