After the roadside ambulance call-out on Friday, I was (although slightly shaken) VERY confident that I'd hit my peak, and that it was all uphill (in a good way) from here! I'd had a professional medical check in the midst of attack, and been given a resounding all clear. Just a couple days to go 'til I was off to the Doctors for some medication and to book therapy and that's it. Road to recovery!
As I commented on my previous post, it was my Father's birthday on Monday. I'm at my Mum's the majority of the week (simply 'cause all my stuff is here, I get on extremely well with my Mum and Dad equally) and visit my Dad and his side of the family regularly. He was going out for the day and then we were all going for a meal at my Grandmother's late afternoon! Lovely! They both live pretty close, it's a 15 minute drive to my Dad's and another 2-3 minutes to my Gran's. Although after the events of Friday I was rather nervous about the journey, I felt confident that once I got there and the Champagne/ food/ banter started flowing, I'd becompletely fine!
Unfortunately, I was EXTREMELY incorrect.
The MOMENT I sat in the back of the car, everything went to sh*t. My stomach knotted up, my body went tingly and shaky, and the breathlessness kicked in with a vengance. Before we'd even pulled away I was going to give up but the idea that I'd be alright when we arrived kept me going. But no, the 20 minute journey was a 20 minute full on fight with my body and mind to not completely lose it. I got out of the car when we arrived expecting relief but instead came an extreme and very sudden exacerbation of everything I'd felt on the way. I walked in and gave my Grandma a hug and said I had to "go to the toilet". She knows very well about my problems and asked if I was okay but at this point I could barely speak.
My brother (who's had very similar issues in the past) came to me after about 20 minutes to try and chill me out. The breathing (or lack thereof), lightheadedness which meant I could hardly lift my head up and shaking by this point were completely out of control. I managed to get up from the chair in the bathroom and stumble to my Gran's spare bedroom where would spend the next 3 hours in meltdown. Shaking like I had parkinson's, tingling and numb all over, weak to the point where moving felt horrible, tense to point where it hurt, heart and thoughts racing, CONSTANT hyperventillation and 100% convinced that this was the end of my life. Despite family members regularly coming in to comfort me and try and get me out of it, there was no hope. My stepmum who is extremely good with health anxiety (her mother was disbled by it for about 5 years) was in with me when the final wave hit and I beddged for medical help. She phoned my doctor who said as it had been going on for so long, I should go to A&E (or ER) where they can give me something to calm me down and perform all necessary tests to rule out anything more sinister. FINALLY a hospital check-up after nearly two years of being convinced that I'm dying! Amongst the absolute hell that I was still going through, I was very excited!
After about 10 minutes I managed to gather my things and "walk" to the car. Luckily my Dad's car is large so I had room in the back to lay down and brace for the 30 minute journey to Hospital. Surprisingly for most of this I felt considerably better! I was still stuck in hyperventilation, shakes and extreme tingling, but could actually construc a sentence and managed to speak to my stepmum all the way which helped (Obviously my Dad would have come with but it was his birthday and he had my 5 year old brother to get into bed soon!)
The 1st nurse that saw me there was amazing. We only had to wait 5 minutes after arriving by which point I was nearing another full-on attack. She explained to me that she'd seen this with someone else just days ago, where they'd been stuck in absolute debilitating panic for hours and hours. This made me feel immediately better as I thought it could never last more than like 30 minutes! I explained in great detail what I'd been through and she looked very relieved and said it sounded like a textbook severe panic attack. Checked my sats which were fine and blood pressure, which was high (160/something) but was not concerened by that as my bassline is 135/90 and panic can easily cause BP to shoot up! Throughout my 5 hour stay, I had 3 ECGs (all perfect, just fast!), multiple blood pressure readings laying, sitting and standing (all higher than usual but again, they didn't seem concerened at all), a blood test for sugar, electrolytes, minerals etc. which was perfect and some other basic physical exams which were fine! My temperature was pretty high (like, near-fever) but they put that down to the fact that I'd been wearing a wooly had for the entire duration!
After thanking everyone massively for their help, we left. It was about midnight so I was extrememly tired but felt otherwise completely fine 😎Didn't even need anythig to calm me in the end, the reassurance was enough! My stepmum (who I've bought a bottle of wine and a card for helping me out) dropped me back at my Mum's who was waiting up for me which was lovely! Had a chat and a cup of tea with her and went to bed feeling great.
Anyway. There's my "little" story all about what was probably the worst day of my life! ;L I know it seems stupid writing all my posts in novel form but it REALLY helps me to get it all down in detail like that! Plus it means that any reader who's been through a similar situation may find greater reassurance so it's a win win!
I went to my Doctor tuesday morning obviously and I'm now on medication for the 1st time! Sertraline (or zoloft, starting at 25mg 1st week then up to 50mg) and 10 Diazepam to help me through any rough times (which I haven't needed YET). I've just taken my 3rd one (well, about 2 hours ago). 1st day was fine. Side affects after about 2 hours were a slight increase in nervousness, minor nausea and feeling a tad shivery but overall I felt really good! Yesterday not quite as plain sailing. Woke up feeling very on edge and very shaky! Took my 2nd and had breakfast and within an hour-ish it wore off but I still felt pretty on edge until the evening! Again this morning I woke up (very late, like nearly mid-day) feeling very tingly, shaky and nervous but I'm feeling pretty good now. I guess this is all just the tablets doing their thing!
If anyone has had there kind of affects it would be great to know as although I haven't fully panicked, it's obviously slightly worrying!
I'm going to try and post more regularly on here from now on with how I'm getting on with meds etc. Maybe then they wont all be 300 paragraphs long as well! ;L Thank you all for continued support and look forward to your comments 😎😊 x