Where does this feeling of being about to die comes from?

Hi all,

Another eventful day at A&E yesterday for me. I was getting ready to go out and suddenly I saw a small rash with hives in my forearm so I took half a Benadryl for it. The minute I swallowed the half tablet, I feel like I was going to stop breathing, couldn't catch my breath, my mouth went awfully dry and felt like my body had forgotten how to breathe or swallow. Ambulance was called and I was monitored for a while ( all looked fine) and then took me to hospital for further testing and to keep me under surveillance in case I was suffering an allergic reaction. While I was at hospital I could feel this mucus building up my throat, I couldn't stop clearing it and trying to swallow and I noticed that I stopped breathing for a couple of seconds mid swallow several times. I was finally discharged and sent home on a high dose of Prednisolone for 3 days ( which, of course, I'm scared to take!) to help with the breathing.

This morning I feel as I normally do: fine for the first ten minutes after waking up and then on edge, thinking I cannot breathe properly and that this will finally kill me in the end as I don't believe anything the doctors tell me. In the meantime, I'm not doing anything to help myself as I refuse to take medicines because of this irrational, bullying fear that has taken over my life.

I'm starting to feel as there is no way out of this for me, whatever it is.

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3 Replies

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  • I can understand how you feel. I often avoid taking tablets for similar reasons. Fear of bad reaction etc., even tablets I've taken throughout the years, paracetemol etc. Every day I feel a new symptom, including not being able to swallow and worry I'll choke on my food when I eat, yet when I don't think about it I'm fine. It's so hard convincing yourself it's in your head as the physical feelings are so strong but I've read so many stories I know I'm okay. A lot of people say it, but I would suggest therapy, it's currently helping me face daily fears of dying or something happening to me or my family, and it is working :) take care x

  • Hi, thanks for you reply. It is so hard to accept that most of the symptoms are just psychological. I still struggle with this and every time I come back from A&E without an answer and a new medicine to try I feel, at the same time, cheated and afraid. These kind of feelings should be enough to convince me once and for all that anxiety is playing the main role in all my health problems. It's that choking, smothering sensation that is taking over my life... it is, at least for me, the worst symptom of them all. I can cope with the dizziness, the palpitations and the intense headaches. I would give anything to feel like I breathe normally again, without having to think about it. And enjoy food and drink as I used to. CBT and Hypnotherapy are working but I'm not quite there yet.

    Take care and thanks again : )

  • Insecurity and lack of confidence is where your fear comes from.

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