Hello, I am new to this site and community. I have been suffering from debilitating anxiety and panic attacks. It manifests into depression. I have been on a massive downward spiral for several years and now. I have moments of strength. When I do I try very hard to pull things together;however, the minute I do, everything falls apart. I haveven been in a relationship for 8 years and during all of that time, he pretty much ignored me or made me feel like a child. Earlier this year I found the courage to tell him and on Easter, I left. The drama dosent stop there but in a nutshell, the person I am living with has company and I offered to stay elsewhere until his company leaves and because my plans fell through, I have ended up having to stay with my ex or live in my car for 13 days. Since I have been there the panic and anxiety is consuming me. So much that I cannot work, I cannot speak without crying, I am shaking, I can't sleep until it's almost morning and then I can hardly get out of bed. I am ignoring my friends and family, and I am ignoring my health.(I'm diabetic) I see no light at the end of the tunnel. I am so scared. I have no idea how to pick myself up... I know I need therapy but I can't afford it. I just someone, anyone to understand.