Anxiety is destroying my life! (HELP)

[robdude456]

Hello everyone, my names Rob and I'm 20... I'm here because mu life changed when I was struck down with severe anxiety. Back in 2015 I was just like every other normal person, going out, getting drunk with friends, going to theme parks, travelling and meeting people etc...

One evening in February 2015 I was just playing on my pc after inviting my girlfriend over for a sleepover (just a general hangout night), we were watching YouTube videos on my phone like everything is fine as it always has been, then out of the blue for no reason what so ever I felt hot, sweaty, couldn't breath and basically having a panic attack...I Was relaxed having fun and hanging with my girlfriend, what could possibly of caused me to feel that way. It soon passed and I could breath again but ever since I've never felt relaxed or calm, I cant do any of the stuff I used to do anymore out of fear of freaking out in front of anyone.

I get anxious over the slightest thing now..i used to watch horror movies and now I cant go near them or anything like that without freaking out, ii used to go to college but I was kicked off twice for not turning up again for the same reason of not being able to escape...same goes for travelling to.

Its been 2 years since then and I've just gotten worse, my girlfriend dumped me for someone more normal because she was getting sick of me putting things off because I didn't want to make her or me look like idiots and I guess she got fed up with it. we dated for 3 years so it must of been the cause. im scared that its just going to get worse to the point that I will never be able to sort my life out to which case i will end up a homeless mental wreck when im older .

If anyone could help me find a way to cope or get rid of this I would be grateful. thanks for reading. I look forward to hearing from similar people.

[K---7]

Have you tried therapy? I know there's a stigma around mental health, but you have to move past what others think and focus on improving yourself. maybe talking with someone can help

[robdude456 in reply to K---7]

I Have thought about therapy but even if I do Its the worry of just going back to feelingtehsame after its over, its always the same when I get a chance to feel ok forabit but it just comes back again

[K---7 in reply to robdude456]

Yup anxiety is a rollercoaster. I once was at a point where I was too scared to say I was having a good day bc then it would go bad. Therapy helps you even if things gets bad and helps you cope through that as opposed to just laying there in sadness and misery.

[Jmerrick22]

Hey 👋 I know exactly how you feel. One thing I learned after nearly going psychotic with anxiety , is panic attacks can be completely unprovoked meaning you don't necessarily have to be anxious, they can just happen. I was driving once and i started getting chest pain and couldn't breathe and literally felt like I was dying this was back in November yet I have myself convinced I still am dying . Ugh 😑. Try doing a hobby you love that will occupy you and your mind. I've found the adult stress coloring books cool because you really gotta Concentrate on them. Try relaxing 😎 in the evenings like put on your favorite music and have a snack and just enjoy yourself . Believe me dude I know how hard it is , I've been there , and still am somewhat but your gonna be fine . As far as your girlfriend , you'll find someone that loves you no matter what the circumstances. I worried for a long long time about that kinda stuff and you'll find someone that will be the one you've been looking for . If you ever need to talk message me I'm happy to help in anyway

[robdude456 in reply to Jmerrick22]

driving? what did you do? did you try to ignore it or did you have to pull in somewhere? when I get it I try to ignore it and it somewhat fades after a while then I get some relief forabit, I do cosplaying and I make 3D models that usually helps me to realx, also I bike ride in the evenings. and thanks I appreciate it

[Hidden in reply to robdude456]

hello! Im pretty much a pro ha ha however I have relapses

its best to not ignore it but to welcome it! Strange huh? But I have been reading a amazing book which is helping me alot just recognise its anxiety I say to myself (when it washes over me) oh hello what do you want?? Like a unwelcome visitor ha ha

im far from cured but doing this has helped it pass much quicker

if there is one piece of advice I will give you its please don't Google your symptoms if something is unfamiliar then just Google anxiety symptoms

every medicine im prescribed im strait on the laptop for side effects which has stopped me trying medications that may benefit me..

hear if you wanna chat Rach

[robdude456 in reply to Hidden]

Hey there I treat it like that a lot, I mean I've had so many panic attacks that I've gotten so used to them that when I'm on the verge, literally the last second my mind just goes "oh its just that" then it shuts it down and turns the adrenaline into an exited feeling, it doesn't happen often but its great when it does that. I made the mistake of reading on google and I think that is what made me worse I was put on propranolol which helped but then I thought I don't wanna rely on tablets for the rest of my life so I stopped taking them. in my opinion there is more to the will of a human mind and somehow it can be fought by ones self control if they can find it, I have a big imagination and it helps when it comes to situations that would be issued as being stressful, like if I'm in a stressful environment like a classroom or something I would imagine the classroom falling apart and me being the one to save everyone (to remove the fear and put In a good one instead) that's at least my way to cope. id love to hear how you normally get through a day with it and what you do to cope

thanks for your response to

[Hidden in reply to robdude456]

I don't have anxiety every day now however it does tap me on the shoulder once or twice.. I took propranolol for a few weeks it did help but I felt really emotionless.. I take mirtazapine 45mg its rubbish stuff but im addicted to it been on it around 7 years

im starting CBT therapy in august and will try to wean off it.

I try to keep busy with work and home life, I have recently been trying to avoid social gatherings which isn't good but I love the comfort at home

it does suck that I don't do half the things I normally did before this all come about. Miss the confidence to rock up at Thorpe park etc without having a meltdown in the que.. Drinking with mates without the dread of the hangover that will trigger more anxiety and low mood.

im hoping I learn more coping methods through CBT maybe a referral can be made for you through your gp? (just a thought) you are very young and need to live a fulfilled life im 34 and a mother and I feel I have missed out on loads over the last 7 years.

[robdude456 in reply to Hidden]

so it oly effects you once in a while now :o? what is CBT Therapy? and it has stopped me doing everything I used to love doing I wanna try find ways to cope with it more so that idont waste any more time than I already have, I'm not going to be 20 for long so the sooner the better really.

[Hidden in reply to robdude456]

have a read up on it looks really good.. Its about changing your behaviour towards anxiety and negative thoughts etc

see your gp they refereed me to insight healthcare

im in Kent

[robdude456 in reply to Hidden]

i will have a look and I will probably go on Monday, I have a big con soon in Birmingham and I really don't wanna have to miss it just for feeling anxious

[Hidden in reply to robdude456]

go for it! Fingers crossed for you

[Jeff1943 in reply to Hidden]

Marzipan is just as good as mirtazapine for raising serotonin levels and it tastes a lot nicer☺

[Hidden in reply to Jeff1943]

sweet! Wish I could get off the horrid stuff

[Paulina21 in reply to Hidden]

Hi

Is the book your reading called Dare by Barry McDough ?

I have the audio and think it's great .

He advises anxiety sufferers to recognise symptoms .

I love this book /audio , found it a great help .

[Hidden in reply to Paulina21]

I have the Claire weekes book hun

self_ help for your nerves x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

also free yourself from anxiety by Emma fletcher and Martha Langley is really good its a self help guide that really explains anxiety, depression, ocd etc x

[Jmerrick22 in reply to robdude456]

I actually drove almost 20 miles on an interstate with kids in while I was having this melt down but I wanted to ensure they were somewhere safe before anything. I like cosplay I really wanna get a fursuit but they're so much money 💰 😐😑

[Jeff1943]

Rob, anxiety often comes out of the blue when we least expect it. But it rarely comes without a reason. You say you were leading a normal life before the Big A came knocking but there must have been some worry or stress in your life that caused your nervous system to become ultra sensitised which caused that first panic attack? If you can identify it and remove the cause so much the better. But now your anxiety is self-perpetuating which means the anxiety causes more symptoms which cause more anxiety which causes more symptoms and so on.

The most successful way to recover your peace of mind, in my opinion, is to stop fighting the symptoms, stop testing yourself, stop obsessing about the symptoms and stop being so introspective. These things only create more stress, fear and worry and what your over sensitised nervous system needs is less of those things giving it a chance to recover.

So instead of fighting the symptoms and stressing over them you must frame your mind the accept the symptoms calmly and with the minimum of fear. Of course anxiety symptoms will still make you feel uncomfortable but they can't cause you physical damage or send you crazy. So simply accept them for the time being without fear - which gives your nervous system a chance to recover. And when your nerves recover that's when you start to feel free of the bad feelings that have blighted your nerves for far too long. Then you can get back to enjoying life once more as so many others have done begore you.

[robdude456 in reply to Jeff1943]

wow this has really got me thinking, thank you! ill try and give it a go, for ages I just go ij a loop or worrying about it every day like when its going to get me next etc. I gotta just accept it and hope that my body will just be able to cope and realise when I'm stressed and I was actually getting a lot of stress before it fully hit me but before then I could cope and ignore it no problem but now not so much

[Jeff1943 in reply to robdude456]

That's it in a word, Rob - Accept don't fight it. It breaks the fear-symptom-fear chain that keeps your nerves sensitised. Let us know how you get on please.

[Nicki1984]

Hi there are lots of things you can try to take a bit more control back. See your doctor about getting some counselling to help you get to the bottom of it and work through it. There are some great self help books out there about working on your anxiety. I would recommend Anxiety Panicking about Panic by Justin Fletcher. YouTube also has some good info on anxiety as well as meditation or Mindfullness that can help you to relax. Find out what's on in your local area such as meditation or anxiety groups so you can be around like minded people. Sorry to hear about your college if you go to your doctor maybe they can write you a letter that supports your absence. Don't give up x

[User4567]

Have you taken any anxiety medications?

[Xena13]

How are you feeling now?