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Anxiety Support
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Sexual anxiety

I need some help/advice on how exactly i can get my confidence back in regards to performance anxiety.

I'm 31 years old and been with my girlfriend for 3 and a half years. Sex has always been great and no issues at all. A couple of months or so back we were partaking in this activity when it went flaccid after 15 mins of various positions. This is the only time this has happened so i was shocked/anxious/frightened but sort of brushed it off to my girlfriend.

Since the day of the latest episode it has been on my mind. On bad days i literally cant go sleep. Ive since spoken to my girlfriend who is always very supporrive and relaxes me. I suffer from health anxiety issues previous to this (basically if i get sick i think its more severe than it is etc..always fear the worst and also if i het a sickness i basically think it will never go away).

Anyway since that day we have had sex and its been ok (but im still always thinking about not going flaccid which results in it sometimes going flaccid and not enjoying the moment as much). I would have a week or so when im good then back to negative thoughts. Then good then bad etc.

I know its not anything more than performance anxiety because i'm fine when ive had a few drinks to make me forget about it (and last for a long long time without any signs of it going soft), i get morning wood most mornings (when ive had a good sleep and i'm feeling good about myself and not thinking about it), i get erections pretty quickly during foreplay and ive had my Testeserone levels checked last year out of pure interest and was on the highish side of things (725 was my T). The anxiety is really damaging me though and when i think im fine...the slump just hits me. Some days i think "oh it will never get hard again" despite being hard the day before which leads me to test it out and see if i can make myself hard...its like an obsession. As i said, getting errect with my girlfirend is not an issue as she always turns me on but i cant help overanalysing things. If i get erect quicker some day then another day i start feeling negative and trying to work out why it happened etc etc. I just want to overcome this anxiety i feel at the thought of sexual intercourse since the first incident ( i used to be the one always excited about the thought of sex with my girlfriend and always ask for it constantly).

3 Replies

Nothing guys?


How's it going my friend I suffer with a lot of health anxiety and panic attacks I havent had a steady girlfriend for a while but on more than 1 occasion when I have tried to start a sexual relationship with a new girl I haven't been able to preform at all. Seems the more I like the girl the worst it is it's like a curse so if you hear of anything that helps let me know !!


Hi mate

My sexual anxiety has disappeared thank god but the anxiety has manifested into another issue as it usually does (hypnic jerks just before I'm about to sleep).

How I finally overcame the sexual anxiety was that I kept telling myself "there's nothing physically wrong with you so quit havibg such a defeatist attitude". I knew from a previous testeserone test o had done and the fact that I usually get nocturnal erections (well when I actually manage to get good sleep) that it wasn't a physical issue and honestly I stopped putting my girl on a pedestal (Love her to bits but that really was my attitude for overcoming it). Stopped putting pressure on myself and thought "so what if it happens again" and convinced myself it's no biggie. As i said it took a while to overcome bit now I feel more confident then ever in that department.

As i said my anxiety is just as bad as it was but it's manifested into other issues which it always seems to do.


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