Anxiety Is Ruining My Life

[AarronStenner]

Hello All

I have suffered with anxiety since I was about 18. My anxiety is based on IBS. I was diagnosed with IBS when I was 16 and believed that was that until I found out I was intolerant to wheat, gluten and dairy last year which I believe is because of leaky gut. I'm currently healing my gut via milk kefir, fermented vegetables and bone broth. However although my gut is healing my mental state is not.

I constantly worry about where is a toilet, what if I need a toilet and there is no imediate access, what is that feeling in my gut; the list of what ifs is endless and it makes me need the toilet more! From all this worry I spiral into anxiety and panic. The weekend just past I was supposed to be at an airshow and camping. The trip was about 1.5 hours away which I successfully done thanks to alot of imodiums however after a few hours being there I spiraled into a panick which in return made me go home at night. Having to wake up my daughter and drag my partner home with me has destroyed me because they are missing out on a good trip.

I have tried everything from medications, CBT, hypnotherapy, BWRT, NLP. While they have all aided in making day to day life easier I still can't get past being outside my comfort zone. The only thing that has taken the edge off of things is meditation and I plan on doing a 10 day Vipassana Retreat in hope that it will give me more tools in my arsenal.

Has anyone had something similar and beat the asshole narrator inside their head? If so I'd be very grateful in any help.

Aarron

[Angep Star]

Hi Aarron, I can understand your fear as I have Crohn's disease so understand the toilet issue. Have you heard of a Radar key? I now have a colostomy bag but I was given a radar key which allows me to get into any disabled toilet. I was given the key by my stoma nurse. You can also get a can't wait card which you produce if there is a queue. If you make an appointment to see your doctor I'm sure they will be able to point you in the right direction to get one. Otherwise ring Crohn's/colitis U.K. And ask them how you go about getting these things. Perhaps this may help to stop your anxiety a little about going out.

[AarronStenner in reply to Angep]

Hi, yeah I have the card and key which does help. But my thoughts go beyond it and think of stuff like what if someone is in the toilet and I have to wait etc. I know it's something I have to deal with, I'm just really struggling. I have hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel because my father had the same in his 20s but now he has traveled the USA, parts of Europe too so if he can do it so can I.

[Angep Star in reply to AarronStenner]

You will find the answer and how to deal with it eventually. My brother has diverticulitis and can't leave the house until the afternoon because of constantly needing the toilet. So many people I have spoken to who need to plan where every toilet is on route just incase!!! At least with a colostomy bag I don't have to worry about that anymore!!! You mentioned a course you are going to do? I haven't heard of that before. I know it can be difficult for others to understand sometimes particularly as it's not something you generally chat about over a cup of coffee!!! For me I'm very open about it. I know you've tried lots of things to try help how you deal with it. My saving grace has been meditation. My teacher also does one to one sessions he's a trained councillor and has helped me deal with stuff. I think finding the right person helps a lot. Fingers crossed for you. Keep looking for the answer and youl get there.