Log in
Anxiety Support
37,445 members40,602 posts

Severe health anxiety.. family life


I've been struggling for a long time now with anxiety, with just about it being manageable & fighting through it, but really do feel like I don't see how to get through this, I feel run down, like I've got a virus, bouts of feeling severely Ill, chest pains other random pains around my body, & most worrying recently facial numbness/tingling on my left side mainly face/head. Been advised to take propanalol , though not that I see what can be worse than this I am reluctant to become dependant on this again after coming off it a few years ago.

I come on sites like this for reassurance more than anything though after a while everything seems to add fuel to the fire. I have a little boy with another on the way, who I love more than anything, what scares me most is not being there for them & i just want to enjoy every minute with them, take them out, have family holidays, as most days its hard to find enthusiasm to get out the house most of the time, & have practically no social life, just about managing to go to work.

People probably have no idea of what is going on in my head/body & apart from my partner & close family I would never try make them aware, & my personality wouldn't suggest what goes on.

Tbh just for someone in a similar situation to talk to would be great, as it's difficult for my partner to understand how I feel, & with her pregnancy try not tell her to the full extent how I feel.

1 Reply

Dd89, you will be there for your son and your child to come, make no mistake about that, you will be there to take them on family holidays, the days out, the special strength and motivation that Nature gives you as a mother will see to that. My mother suffered from anxiety disorder, she told me once that if she hadn't had me to consider she kight have died by her own hand, I suppose in a way I saved her life.

Everybody can recover from anxiety disorder no matter how long and how bad. You Dd89 are no exception because there are no exceptions. But it's clear that you haven't found the road plan that will allow you to recover your quiet mind.

All those symptoms you mention are classic symptoms of anxiety, even the facial numbness crops up regularly on this forum. Never had it myself but whilst walking round Queen Victoria's summer house last week the top of my right leg went numb, never had that before: how ingenious the anxiety beast is in the symptoms it dreams up to torment us. But I know to accept these things without adding fear to stressed nerves, well most of the time, and it hasn't returned and maybe won't because it knows I'm notfrightened of it.

But this isn't about me, Db89, it's about you. The first question is always: what worry, stress, disappointment or strain experienced over time has led to the over sensitisation of your nervous system? You must put that right if at all possible, be as ruthless as you like, for your own sake as well as your son and child unborn.

My suggestion to you is the same as I make to all those suffering from the fake symptoms of anxiety disorder, I say fake because they are not true physical symptoms but the products of your frazzled nerves. I suggest you stop fighting the symptoms and bad feelings you have because fighting only causes more stress, angst and fear. Instead accept the symptoms for the time being in the certain knowledge that this some trick of your nervous system exhausted by continual fear. So I repeat accept the symptoms with as much calm and as little fear as possible. Utterly accept all the symptoms: imagine the symptoms as huge waves driven in by the tide crashing violently against a rock but despite all the force the rock withstands their fury. You are that rock. With practice and persistance you will learn to Accept the symptoms with less and less fear and your nerves will be able to recover to a state of tranquility and calm at which point you will recover.

Go now to Amazon and search for Claire Weekes' book on the Acceptance method with which she helped untold tens of thousands to recover. The book is called 'Self help with your nerves' in the U.K. and 'Hope and help with your nerves' in the U.S. Then read some of the hundredscof reader reviews 90% of which say that they found the book very good or excellent at helping them with their anxiety disorder through Acceptance.

I think you know what to do next. I hope all goes well with the coming of your next child by which time you will have joined the latest band travelling in hope along the Yellow Brick Road to recovery.


You may also like...