The "poor me" will steal your happiness

I do not mean this post to offend anyone as I have in the last 40 years experienced nearly everything on most posts on this site, so I do have great compassion for the still suffering...

Yes life was hard and I gave away a lot of my happiness to the above, I was engaged in self pity...

Maybe it was the fact I suffered a life threating illness that changed my thought pattern.

I could not give it to the man next door because I did not want it...!!!!

Then I realised ( or it was suggested to me) that I was not that important, to my family maybe, but not necessarily to others.

My opinions should only be given when asked...

And most importantly in gods great plan, I was only one amongst millions, the world did not revolve around me, I was not as important as I perceived that I was....

Hurtful....No.....but a sudden realisation that I should be more humble and view life as a great gift, not as a burden...

So I am aware of all the "spiritual thieves" be it people or more likely negative thinking....

So I don't apologise for the title because the " poor me,s" are selfish, destructive and affects everyone around us, they will drag you to your knees..

My answer was when I realised " I was not that important"....and I hope to remain that way.....

Best wishes to you all on your journey.....

15 Replies

  • Depression and anxiety are serious illnesses they can potentially be life threatening, and they cause people to feel down about themselves and their life.

    The "poor me" attitude? How can anyone have an uplifted and optimistic attitude when one is suffering with depression. By its very nature it causes people to think negatively.

    If a depressed person seems to be full of self pity to others, then so what? Depression makes a person feel down about everything. It is part of the illness.

    f people feel down about themselves and their life. then that is understandable when they are feeling down, just as a person coughs when they have a cold !!! They should not be made to feel guilty about it. or chastised for it.

    BTW: I have spent most of my life with anxiety and depression, plus other mental health issues, caused by genetics and upbringing, which included abuse. I am alone and have battled my illnesses mostly alone.

    Medication keeps me alive, because I would have taken my life by now.

    I don't see the point in being here, but that for me is not depression, it is the realisation at a certain age, 50. that most of my life has gone, and the life in front of me is hardly going to be much better, & due to impending old age, it could become worse. That is not self pity. That is being realistic.

    I hate to read about young people suffering with anxiety and depression. It breaks my heart. However, there is a good chance, that in their lifetime. mental illnesses will be treated far more successfully than what they are now.

    If I was young now, and suffering as I am, then I would grab all the help that I could. If treated successfully in younger life, there is a good chance that a person can not be so affected by mental illness in their adult life.

    Medications are improving and hopefully in the near future there will be more counselling readily available for people.

    When I was young, no one even spoke about mental illness. There was no internet to turn to for help.

    These days there is far more openness, awareness of mental illness and far more help for young people, despite the horrific waiting lists for help in some parts of this country.

    A person can be helped to feel better in many ways about themselves. but saying in effect "stop feeling sorry for yourself" is not going to help them! Next you will be suggesting "pull yourself together" !

  • it again....xx best wishes.

    I would,t like to list where I,ve been, or what I suffered because it is not that important.

    Today is all that matters

  • Goodness knows, some times are harder than others... but when I look to the past and how I handled some situations (that were SO HARD it would make you shudder!) I remember FEELING it...was not denying it...BUT I always had a 'things will get better' attitude, or 'this, too, shall pass'... I do believe that we create our own reality... and I can also understand why that seems utterly ludicrous to some others... but I would rather believe that I create my own troubles (yes, often unconsciously for whatever reason) rather than believe in some diety who is 1) refusing to help me; or 2) ALLOWING this (or making this) happen to me for a reason.

    I also know (and too often forget lately) that we get MORE OF what we concentrate on... and I'll often hide behind "Well, I'm just going to be realistic and realize everything is shitty!...and dwell in it"... and then, it never fails... it gets worse! :) Law of Attraction.... or even as Jesus said "as a man thinketh in his heart, so he is".... I can only speak for me... Sometimes Pushing Through is tough... and I' m not advocating DENYING your feelings ... only that one shouldn't think 'there's nothing I can do about it' and play the victim... because, oh dear god, that is SO self-perpetuating... We always have choices. I have to tell myself that even though sometimes its hard to believe!

  • Betty, your a survivor...xx

  • anxiety and depression are caused by emotional and chemical imbalances and can only be fully and permanently 'cured' by medical or psychological intervention. Adopting a 'stiff upper lip' mentality is not a useful suggestion - nor is seeing yourself as 'unimportant' or 'part of God's plan' or offering up some kind of prayer. Medicine in some form is the cure for illness.

  • If you read the part..then"I" realised...

    Ok it might not be for everyone, but maybe,just maybe someone will understand the message and it may help them, but it was my journey..

    No mention of pull yourself together or stiff upper lips....

    When I was a victim I was ill..

    When I did not take responsibility for my own emotions I was ill...

    And yes we need medical help, I still take 10 mg of e- citalopram..

    A change from many years ago when various drugs totalled 800 mg a day...

    How do I remain well one day at a time..gratitude and most importantly changed my thinking....without changing I,d still be suffering...

    I wish you all the good things and hope for the future.....

    The truth is hard to swallow but some emotional and chemical imbalances can be caused by our thinking...

  • there are no chemical imbalances caused by 'our thinking'. If our thinking is causing us distress or harm, it is not by choice. There is no 'hard to swallow' 'truth' in anything you claim.

  • Sorry, I agree to disagree...see post " question to ask" posted yesterday

  • Also watch post 2 days ago..." Link to dep/anxiety".....I hope you wishes

  • Hello

    You seem so very sad and confused the way you have written above. Your life is no less important than anyone else. You are who you are and no-one has any right to suggest you are not vital and important in life, you are who you are and you should never bow your head to those who say you are lacking in any way.

    We all need to develop self worth we are always important in our own selves and I defy anyone to say anything that knocks that attitude into the long grass. You are always of value.

    If you went into your GP Surgery and was sitting there talking to your GP. Halfway through your appointment your GP told you to go outside while she brought someone else in is that attitude right ??

    You are in life as important as anyone else, you never cheapen yourself.

    If you are depressed try site Action on Depression, self worth is very important for everyone


  • OMG....Bob try happy and

    To realise you are not that important is not putting yourself down, it is removing the Ego and practising humility...

    Suggest you might read Eckhart Tolle.....god bless you

  • I am sure we are all important to someone in life, be it to other humans or animals.

    Even if not, then you could be in many ways by making yourself important. It does not matter if it is on some grand scale of importance, but in just some small way that can make a difference.

    I talk with an old man down the road. He told me a while ago that no one ever talks to him except to say Hello. My social anxiety makes me feel so anxious when speaking to him. but even so, I have a little chat. and that chat. by what he has told me. cheers him up. It helps me by helping me to still socialise whilst having social anxiety.

    I am important to my son, and to my rescued dog and cats. If I ended my life now, then my son would be devastated (I do know this) and my beautiful animals would end up with the RSPCA no doubt. They would miss my love and my care that I give them. No one can look after my dog and cats like I can. They are the reason I stay alive.

    I am looking at doing voluntary work. I want to make a difference to someone else's life even if it is only a tiny amount, in some way.

    I may not be ending the worlds problems, but in my own tiny way I can make a little difference. That has to be better than doing nothing, and convincing yourself that you are unimportant in life,

    You are the one out of all the others that managed to become an embryo and then a baby,The others did not make it, but you did. What does that say?

    Anyway, you have your opinion and I have mine. I am not knocking you for your view at all. I just don't like to think of you not feeling important.

    You are important enough for me to spend time to you replying, for what it is worth!

  • A lovely reply Myranda. I did say that I was important to my family ...

    I was only trying to give a message that Ego ( over importance) is not healthy...

    During my life I felt tat I was so good at my job that if I left the company it would collapse....if I ever walked out on my family they would be found in a few months dead huddled round the fire..

    What a misguided fool..ha ha....

    I suppose I see any importance in me as to help others and at the same time I spend the time and listen to those who need an "ear"...

    Be well and look for the light....x

  • Hello

    I am glad that you are important to your family. I read your profile and it says you work with autistic children. That is also very important and worthwhile too.

    I think, in fact I now know, I misread your original post.

    I still don't get the part about us feeling insignificant.

    I can look at the stars, and some scenery, and feel humbled, but never insignificant. That said, if I am going through the bleakest depression, I feel like I am useless, worthless, pathetic, a waste of oxygen and all the rest that depression makes us feel.

    If someone actually said to me that I was insignificant during that time to me, whilst I was depressed, it could be very harmful to me, and who knows what could happen.

    I love life, nature, animals, and all that is good and beautiful in life, but during the times when I am at my lowest, all that goes out of my head, and nothing but darkness fills it, and I feel like I am a nothing, not worthy of breathing. When I recover, I feel a little more worthy.

    Having wrote the above, I feel on the brink of getting down again. Not due to this thread, but due to other reasons. It started this morning. The signs are showing. I have to keep as positive as I can.

    How do you cope when you get depressed?


  • We are never insignificant.....I will pm you...x

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