insecurity isssues

[sisterneedshelp24]

hello , i've been having this problem for a year, i had bad experiences in the past that really wounded me .. i can't seen to be able to stop feeling insecure about myself .

i have been cheated on in the past , and as you all know the feeling is horrible . the guy i am with right now is awesome , he is genuinely kind , he never did anything to make me doubt him ever. but because of my "problems" we had alot of fights in the past and all of them are the same... jealousy , doubt , believing everything he says is a lie . although every time i doubted him he would send me a picture of him and his friends to assure me and i'd feel like an idiot not trusting him. right now , i did some progress , i stopped telling me if i got upset or i didn't believe him but i still feel crappy when he goes out without me ,, or when he disappears , or when my texts arent delivered.... bad thoughts goes in my head and i don't know how to shut them up.

if i'm busy doing something , i 'd throw the ideas away but not every time i have something to do. so that's a problem.

any advices how to get rid of this permanently ?

[Tcole]

What I'm learning to do is beginning to put myself first relearning my worth you have to put behind you the hurt that was caused by someone else because it's not fair to your new relationship...When we've been hurt we hold on to that hurt and at times it prevents from being happy but you have to make a conscious decision on what u want for your life my husband just recently had an affair on me which from that he now has a two year old son and coping with that is very hard but I have to take my life back because with relationships we become so much of our mates that we sometimes get lost

[sisterneedshelp24 in reply to Tcole]

you are so right... what you going through made me realise that even if i got betrayed another time it really doesn't matter , we need to just take the pain and move on or else we'll just ruin our lives ... i'm very sorry about what your husband did.. but it's great that you are thinking right about the need to take your life back because you should... there is nothing wrong with you , you don't have to suffer that , there is something wrong with him remember that !

[Tcole in reply to sisterneedshelp24]

Indeed I do we've been together for 24 years and married to each other twice but even with that you have to remember to choose you before anyone else self care is very important never forget that