Green monsters!

[karaph51]

Please help.

How can I stop being jealous and suspicious with my partener?

They rear their ugly heads all the time and causing me much anxiety & stress.

He is not very physically demonstrative with me generally, an love making is almost always instigated by myself. And he seems to think that cuddling me will end up with sex. I have tried talking to him about it, but no changes u to now. I feel very sad and lonely because of this and my self esteem has plummeted, which is bad, because it wasn't very high in the first place, due to a lot of stuff from the past.

I am rock bottom today and very anxious & tearful.

I have just spoken with my Dr who has doubled the dose of my amitryptiline.

I just don't know what to do I am so sad.

I also have fibromyalgia which he does not seem to take much notice of/ take on board, even though he went to the rheumatologist with me.

I could cry a bucket.

[Newbie5]

Hi - I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling.

I have also been feeling like this about my partner for the last couple of weeks - mainly bought on by my low mood at present and then flashbacks from previous experiences rearing it's ugly head like they do and making me feel paranoid about my current relationship (which has so far lasted 16 years and we have 2 children!).

I spoke to my other half about my fears (which is a hard thing to do in itself I know) and what I have been feeling which he thinks is completely crazy (I know helpful!) yet from this he told me his worries that he is currently experiencing (nothing life threatening more car related!) but this did ease my mind that he wasn't sat there trying to work out the best way to leave me....

Some advice I received recently is to try and live for the day and not be worrying about what may or may not happen in the future or what people may or may not be talking about you...

Advice is all to easy to give out and we're all so individual that what works for one doesn't mean it'll work for another but for me I'm doing my best to focus on what is good around me, praise myself for whatever I have managed that day without feeling the need to burst into tears, not to be thinking that everyone is talking about me, and that life is busy and as much as I want it to be hearts and flowers and my kids to be angels that's just not realistic so don't take it personally.

And when it comes to overthinking....which I'm an expert at....then I try and move and do something that needs my mind, even if it's just a game on my phone or anything silly...

I hope you find something that works for you. Sometimes it is a case of trial and error, but give yourself a pat on the back for anything you do try and hopefully a good chat with your other half may help...

[karaph51 in reply to Newbie5]

Thank you for that, Newbie5,

I do hope I can sort myself out somehow. I feel sick to my stomach.

He is into a lot of social media, and that scares me too, as he doesn't communicate much. All this silent stuff.

I find it creepy. It wouldn't be so bad if he was an 'open book', sharing sort of person, but he only 'shares' anything with me on a need-to-know basis.

I am very unsettled. But I don't want to make him unhappy either. 😢

Thank you for your response. I hope you can come out the other end of the tunnel, too.

😊