Stepparent Anxiety

[MissDee94]

I recently just got engaged to my fiancé who has a 9 year old son. I have known both of them for over a year now. Her son is really not your typical kid. He's so sweet and super sensitive. He bahaves most of the time and when I was still at my own place and dating his mother things seemed so perfect. Well about 3 months ago I got engaged and moved in and that's when things started to change. I can tell he feels threatened by me in the sense that I have "taken" his moms attention away since it was just the 2 of them for quite some time. I can sense jealousy if he finds out me and his mom did something without him while he was at his dads or if she does something sweet for me. And the guilt is making my anxiety go through the roof. At the same time though I have my own battles. I even feel jealousy with the 2 of them as horrible as that sounds and I feel like an outsider sometimes when they have those bonding moments. I also have been so stressed when it comes to disciplinary actions with him. I feel like it's not my right to discipline him if he acts up and I feel torn with winning him over still and not being able to be that authority figure. Lately he has been testing me to my limits because he knows I won't do anything but say I will tell his mom which half the time she doesn't really discipline him in the way that I would prefer. But then again who am i? I don't have any children of my own so I feel like I don't have any room to put opinion in and at the end of the day he is her child. I didn't realize how hard stepparenting can be and it has brought a lot of anxiety out in me and is affecting my relationship with her. I know compared to other stepchildren he can be considered an angel but it's still so hard for me and is affecting my health now. If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it!

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You need to talk your anxieties through with your other half about your situation.