Creeping in like a fog

[evie15]

I was doing so well too. For about 2 weeks I felt okay. I was coming out of an intense 2 week session of anxiety. I was happy, functional, and dare I say I felt...normal. Little by little this week the anxiety, panic, and thusly sadness has crept in like a billowing fog. I was getting little hints that this was coming on, but really tried to ignore it. I try to stop, metaphorically look around and really remind myself how lucky I am. Tell myself I need to appreciate things in my life, and for god sakes, I should be happy about it. Alas, it still edges its way in. The visibility of everything in my life slowly disappears. It drains me and moreover ignites this energy in me. It brings these strange cravings to flee. It comes along with this nagging insistence to move, get away, do anything to calm myself down from the ensuing panic. And the worst part is, when I fight this feeling, I fall into this depressed resignation. I feel so sad. This is such a horrible way to function. Before I know it I cannot focus on anything else, my panic is full swing, and the fog is here, visibility is zero.

[BonnieSue]

So your life is like you when the fog rolls in and visibility plummets to zero? And you are mesmerized by the fog coming in and you stand there and watch it close in and you lose all visibility? You're helpless in the face of this fog? What does the fog represent? All of life? You can't get anything done? I need help here. Fill in the blank, please, because I can't.

Now you can't help but focus on the fog and you panic. I don't know what to make of this. You have no future figured out and that makes you very insecure? Yes, this is a wild guess! Why don't you tell me what the real truth is here?

[evie15 in reply to BonnieSue]

Im just writing to get this out. The fog is a metaphor for my anxiety. My anxiety comes with a lot of panic attacks. Its the only way I can describe how it comes on. I think I said that at the beginning. I don't know what you mean by the real truth?

[BonnieSue in reply to evie15]

I missed your full explanation, and that's why I was asking for the real truth. I had to reread your 1st writings a few times to understand. I'm sorry for my confusion.

[Deb1658]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I feel the same way sometimes. I used to tell myself that I should feel happy, but that seemed to make it worse. So now I give into these feelings and begin to look at them and where are they coming from. I like to keep a journal and writing down my thoughts helps unleash my unconscious thoughts that bring about anxiety and panic. As I write, the reasons for my fear are unlocked from within me. It's a wonderful thing. It's surprising that simple things like writing, exercising, meditation are so readily available but seldom used. Good luck!!!