Hi everyone, I'm a 19 year old girl with OCD/GAD.
I went to see my psychiatrist yesterday, because I have really disturbing negative thoughts which I don't want. This all because I had a really rough adolescence growing up (divorce of my parents). At the moment, I'm living with my dad, he's really nice, but he has hit me before and he's also very controlling, and doesn't want me to live on my own in my university city for example.
So, my psychiatrist prescribed me escitalopram 10mg, from which I took 5mg today, but I feel AWFUL. I know that these are the side effects, but they are horrible. I wasn't ready to take them, but my dad pushed me, although my mom and boyfriend were against. Also my GP said that it was for too heavy for me (but I still think a psychiatrist knows more about this kind of stuff?) so she said to me that I HAD to stop!
So, I adressed to my dad that I would like to try it by myself one more time, by trying cognitive behavior therapy (which I haven't tried before) and he said that that was impossible, that if I stopped that I would always be in this anxious state, and he said that if I stopped he would bring me to a psychiatric clinic.
Now, you have to understand that I have an extreme fear of death and a fear of committing suicide, but I have OCD over it, so it's more like 'do I really don't want to do it??? maybe I want to!!??'.
So I responded to him that I knew one girl who was admitted to a psychiatric ward, and that the reason was that she tried to commit suicide. And then he said to me well yes, it's to prevent that you do that that I want to bring you there, and now I'm just SO scared, i don't know what to do.
I want to stop the pills, but what if that makes me suicidal? And + my dad will be really mad if I get anxious when I stop the pills,.. pff,
SORRY FOR THE RANT!