Anxiety tips

[Elliemae44]

Hello lovely people,

So on Friday I have too go to my grandmas funeral, and I am so unbelievably nervous about my anxiety. The whole family will be there, around 50 people are going and I'm so scared. I haven't been too a place with lots of people for ages and I'm so worried I am going too freak out and get really dizzy (one of my annoying side effects). Does anyone have an tips that can help whilst I'm there? Anything you guys find that help you relax if you are feeling anxious? Anything will help.

Lots of love x

[Hidden]

Hello

So sorry to hear about the loss of your Grandma

I totally understand how you feel , I have lost both my Mum & Dad and felt just like you when it came to the Funerals

I also hate crowds but I held on to what my Mum would have been saying to me had she been here and she would have said " You can do it , I have every faith in you "

Remember it is a Funeral , there will be lots of people maybe but they are there to pay their respects as well as some feeling so upset they do not usually take much notice how others are reacting but actually this is the one time that if you do want to shake , cry , even walk out if it all gets to much for you , you can as people will find it more acceptable when someone is grieving rather than if you were at a party and acted that way

Have you spoken to your parents about how you feel , or any other close friends or relatives that will be attending ?

Having a few close people knowing how you feel and been at your side just to hold your hand if needed can be a huge comfort

Also do you have a lucky charm or anything you could take in your pocket that you could keep holding if you feel an anxiety rush that can also help

I would get my clothes and everything ready the night before , that is one less stress if you feel anxious on the morning

Make sure you have something to eat even if you don't feel like it

Have a relaxing bath and if you do any relaxation exercises try and do those and if not go on You Tube and put in relaxation exercises for anxiety and try them out

I always have a bottle of water on me when I am going any where , taking little sips can help , especially when we are anxious and our mouths get dry and we feel we cannot swallow

I hope you get some more suggestions , but one more thing I can think of is take your mobile , be logged in to the Community , knowing that there will be someone about if you are struggling and you can post

Let us know how you get on , you can do this for your Grandma and she will be looking down and be so proud of you for doing so

Take Care x

[Elliemae44 in reply to Hidden]

Awh you are so sweet, thank you for your kind advice. I lost my mum 7 years this month and it has been extremely hard considering I was only 13 when it happened. Pretty much everyone in my family know what's going on with me, but a lot of them are struggling too understand it. With my dad being the way he is, at the beginning he didn't understand it and thought I was making this all up! He was completely unsupportive. But in the last week or so he had opened his eyes are realised this is a problem and is being incredible.

My grandma who had passed away is my mums mum, so everyone there will be on my mums side of the family, and luckily they are all loving and caring people so I will feel comfortable with them. I just don't want too end up making a scene! I am one of those people who likes too be in the background not centre of attention.

But sitting at the back would be best for me I think in case I need too leave, and taking water is a great idea!

If things get bad I will write on this on Friday! Honestly I couldn't thank you enough hope everything is okay with you xx

[Hidden in reply to Elliemae44]

O sweetheart , I am so very very sorry to hear you lost your Mum so young my heart goes out to you and sounds very much like my Mum's side of the family were they were all so loving to

I am so pleased that your Dad has come to realize this is a genuine problem and hope that he will start supporting you because that will be a huge help

Great idea to sit at the back or if you can sit at the end seat where you can discreetly get up without moving anybody if you feel you need to

You won't make a scene honestly the only thing you may do is discreetly go outside and if a any time you feel you need to go home just say you feel unwell and really need to go home

All you can do is your best and as long as you try your best you cannot ask nothing more of yourself and should not give yourself a hard time

Will be thinking about you and sending positive vibes x

[Agora1]

Hi Elliemae44, My condolences on your grandmother's passing. I understand how nervous you must be feeling. I almost missed my own mother's funeral because of being Agoraphobic at the time. I drove to the funeral home deep breathing all the way there. Once I saw some of my cousins, it set me at ease a little. Like you I hadn't been anywhere for ages. I made several trips to the restroom just to breathe and tone myself down. A couple times walked out into the hallway just to move my muscles. I couldn't sit still on the couch in the front row, that would have made me dizzy. I made it through and drove to the church and sat in the back so I could escape if I had to. Again using deep breathing to keep myself in control. After that, I bowed out, couldn't make it to the cemetery and then to a luncheon. My sister took over for me. Once again embarrassed but I did the best I could. Give yourself credit for pushing forward and doing things that are difficult. You will be okay. Remember to breathe...

[Elliemae44 in reply to Agora1]

Oh you poor thing that must of been so difficult. It's hard when you want too support others when you can't even support yourself! You did incredible tho! Too even drive there was amazing. Honestly you should feel so proud of yourself for doing that, as I obviously know how hard it is. My mum passed away 7 years ago but thankfully I was okay then and I was able too sit through everything and not have this too worry about.

I always forget about breathing techniques! I shall definitely try that.

How are you doing now?

[Agora1 in reply to Elliemae44]

Elliemae44, I am over my Agoraphobia and have been doing so much better. I do use meditation and deep breathing every single day morning and night as well as mid afternoon if I'm real stressed. I hope you will be okay. x