Me

[Tennisrocks]

I broke it off with the love of my life for the right reasons...for my health. Now, I am so lonely and down. I seem to do this every 2 years and want to figure it all out. Arghhh.

[Hidden]

Hello

If been in a relationship was making your health worse then of course you did the right thing and it was also a very brave and sensible thing to do as so many people will stop in a relationship even though they know deep down it is not doing them any good for the fear of been alone

You will feel alone for a while but hope you have friends and family that can help fill this void you are feeling at the moment that you will know if this has happened before will pass

As you seem to think this is a pattern that keeps happening maybe this time work on yourself and your anxiety and wait before you start a new relationship till you feel more able to cope and that way you have a better chance of breaking this pattern that seems to have formed

Take Care x

[Tennisrocks in reply to Hidden]

your right on many themes...I need to focus on me. Ifell for an alcoholic and it was affecting my well being...physically and emotionally. Thank you for the kind, true words.

[Justneedpeace in reply to Hidden]

I was in a relationship for 4 years (2008-12) when my anxiety was triggered and I ended it. I still miss him everyday.

I took care of myself and finally felt at peace and no anxiety.

Then in 2015 I started dating someone and everything was going so well till anxiety started creeping up again and I had a major panic attack in Nov. I believe it has been really put a strain on our relationship now and I feel sick to my stomach with anxiousness everyday.

I don't really know what to do at this point.

[Hidden in reply to Justneedpeace]

Hello

I would sit him down and talk to him , be honest with him and if you find it hard to talk write it down in a letter to him so he can sit and absorb what you need to say

If he is a keeper he will try and support you with all this , a relationship has to pass the test through the good and bad times and if this is the right relationship with the right person it will do

I would also make an appointment with my Doctor and tell them how you are feeling and what you are going through , not sure how you feel about medication but there is Therapy that can be really good getting to the root of you anxiety and then helping you move forward x

[Justneedpeace in reply to Hidden]

Ugggh

I would LOVE to be able to talk to him about it.

Sounds like a easy answer.

But I know it would be very hard for him to hear being it has been so long.

I feel like the anxiety will win if I tell him.

Because it will just transfer to something else.

Thats what happened in my previous relationship.

[Tennisrocks in reply to Justneedpeace]

I'm the him....but your response is accurate. It did transfer to other things in our relationship and she would only want to drink it away. Sucks.

[Justneedpeace in reply to Tennisrocks]

Exactly

Thats why I am trying to figure it out on my own.

[Agora1]

Tennisrocks, I'm sorry you feel the way you do. But you say you did it for the right reasons and that was for yourself. You always have to be #1. Take care of you first before you can take care of someone else. In this case, she may have been the love of your life but her love was alcohol. Pretty impossible to compete with that. Having anxiety is enough to deal with. Anxiety in itself makes us feel alone but remember that you can feel just as alone being with someone who doesn't care or understand your needs. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Yes, it hurts but it won't always. Take each day as it comes and one day you will see the reason behind what happened. Take care. Stay well...

[Tennisrocks in reply to Agora1]

thx agora1....I needed that. Your right, one day at a time, exercise and I will be ok. Peace to you.