Anxiety

Hi all, in a nutshell I have really bad anxiety, I struggle to be in any situation where I feel trapped and I panic whenever I feel I am - even just a simple conversation with someone can trigger it. I'm 16 btw. Anyway, this morning was the first day back at school after Christmas break (i do not attend class, i sit in a seperate room and do work and i only stay there for 3 hours a day - due to anxiety) however, I woke up and got myself ready, I was already stressed to the max about returned to school, and at about 7:15am I received a text from my boyfriends mother saying that he had collapsed in the shower and they were waiting on an ambulance for him. Immediately my entire body just froze, I walked through to my Mum's bedroom and I stood at the door and I told her, she could see the worry in my eyes. Seconds later tears filled my eyes and flooded my face, I couldn't breathe and I was shaking uncontrollably. I stayed off school and spent the entire day crying, the good news is that he is okay! His mum kept me updated throughout the day, he got home this afternoon with a sprained neck and very large bump on his head. But my problem is, I cannot lose him. My anxiety has me fixed on a routine, I'm quite OCD about my routine if I'm honest, but he is part of my routine and I don't know what to do without him, I understand I am 16 and I'm young but I love him so much, we've been together almost a year and I've never felt so much panic in my life. Even when I knew he was alright, I continued to cry because I was so worried and I just wanted to see him, even still my anxiety is causing me to be irrational about his health, all day Ive had daydream nightmares of bad things happening to him, I'm making myself so stressed. It's 2am and I haven't slept and i have to wake up in 5 hours for school which is only stressing me out even more. Does anyone have any advice for how I can try to stop worrying so much about my boyfriend or anything?? Any help? I feel like I'm going crazy

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5 Replies

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  • Update: i got 4 hours sleep, have refused to go to school once again and my mum wants to kill me. Still feel so panicky - rapid heart, no energy, shaking. I feel so worked up and its not going away

  • Time will be a big factor. Try mindfulness, progressive muscular relaxation

  • You're bound to be worried about your boyfriend. You love him after all. Just keep telling yourself he is okay.

    In terms of the anxiety mine has always been there but when it started to become to the point where it was affecting my day to day life. As in your case school I went to the doctors. Which I recommend they do in your case.

    They may suggest propranolol which stops the physical side effects. The beating heart for example.

    I would also research CBT as that really helped me as changed the way I thought about certain things.

    Anxiety is awful and I know how you feel and it will get better. But when you learn to block out the negative thoughts and to not think of the worse. It will get better. I promise.

  • I should have mentioned that, I was on propanolol for a month but am now on sertraline, not really seeing much of a difference. I think especially with it being the holidays, my routine messed up and the thought of going back to school along with my boyfriends accident was all too overwhelming:(

  • Hello Brightstar.

    You don't really have control over anything in this life. Try to find peace in that fact. Let go, and enjoy the ride.

    Also, I started with anxiety when I was young. I often confused love with co-dependence. It caused me a lot of pain until I realized that.

    Breathe and try to enjoy yourself. Remember, worrying over things that may, or may not, happen is like carrying an umbrella around all the time because it may rain some day.

    I wish you the best and hope you find some peace.

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