Anxiety

[Stinkbug05]

Hello, my name is Lynn, I just lost my Husband October17th 2015. I am 56 years old. I have always suffered from severe anxiety disorder and I get panic attacks a lot lately, especially since my Husband died. You see it took until I was 47 to find my Soul mate, my best friend. Someone who loved me for all my issue's and tried to help me through them. I have been seeing a therepist for about a month and a half now and I still miss him so much. Sometimes I literally think that my heart aches for my love. My Therepist said I was Clinically Depressed. I also have health issues that I know worsen with the loss of my love. I found him myself on a Wal-Mart bench just sitting there not even looking up, and I called to him and said Honey why are you sleeping silly? In my heart from that distance I could tell something was wrong but I pushed it back in my head. I went over his eyes were rolled back and he was cold to the touch his mouth was open. I shook him no response I gave him a kiss blew into his mouth nothing I screamed for help. I was moved to a bench beside him and I could hear in the background the people that were working on him. Then they were cutting his clothes off. People were all around me but I went into sort of shock. That was 5 months ago and it still feels like yesterday. This March 16th is his birthday, and March 18th is the Anniversary of when we first met 9 years ago, and March 19th we would have been married 5years. The sadness anxiety depression has all worsened. I had to move out of our home and move in with Family. So much more but #struggleisreal

[Sfenster]

I became a sudden widow, too and have suffered from anxiety /Panic since my teens. I am now in my 50s. Right now you are both suffering from the anxiety and grief. The clinical depression just means that your brain chemicals have converted to a depressive state until they. can be righted with appropriate medications. Perhaps you are also experiencing posttraumatic stress syndrome which may be at the heart of your more recent issues. Keep on seeking medical assistance, changing doctors if necessary. Your journey of grief is your own. Don't let others try to influence you in getting through it more quickly. My prayers are with you. There is a light at the end of this tunnel, it just may take A while to get there.

[Agora1]

My heart goes out to you. I can't even imagine what that must have been like for you.

I am so sorry for your loss. The tremendous trauma surrounding the event. You have a lot of important dates coming up this month and I can understand how that is feeding into your sadness anxiety and depression even more. I am glad that you moved in with family to help you get through this grieving process. I am glad you are also seeing a therapist. Healing takes time. I hope your other medical issues get addressed as well. Keeping you in my thoughts. Keep reaching out to this forum for support. Everyone cares about each other. xx

[Stinkbug05 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so Much that means a lot to me. I can't work my depression and anxiety panic attacks. I am living with my sister because that a the only option I have. I don't think she realizes how people with panic anxiety and the constNt worrying and hardly ever being happy. When I wake up in a happy state of mind that's like Christmas for me, and I take full advantage of that. Thank you so much for listening.

[Agora1 in reply to Stinkbug05]

You are very welcome. Anytime, please come here for support and caring. xx

[kinikia95]

Good Lord, of course you're upset. I'm so so sorry. Glad you're with your family. If it takes months of being distraught that's understandable. Its horrible but normal. I obviously don't know your love but I'm sure he would want you to get back to life. You go ahead and take March to grieve, then ease back in to you. Sounds like you have a great family, that's a blessing.

[Stinkbug05 in reply to kinikia95]

Thank you and I know that is what my love would be saying. Thank you for listening.

[Suesclues]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Try to find comfort in the great memories and knowing that he would want you to go on enjoying life. *hugs*

[Stinkbug05 in reply to Suesclues]

Thank you, and maybe one day I will be there. Just a whole lot to sort out and some soul searching for me as well.

[Hidden]

Oh no this made me cry. Iam so truly sorry you had to Go through that tremendous loss.  Especially in the Public. My heart really goes out to you as i know your still mouring the Loss of. Your Loved one. God called His angel Home. May he rest in peace