Health anxiety - panicking over every feeling in my body

[Alicia19-90]

Hi,

This is my first post on here, I feel like im suffering on my own, I don't think people close to me understand. I'm 26 years old and I have two children aged 3 and 1 and every day is a battle, I am convinced I'm going to die of cancer and I can't stop worrying that something is going on woth my body. I know I have health anxiety and I have just started taking citalopram 20mg and my doctor has referred me to a psychiatrist. My gp tells me I am fine, I have swollen lymphnodes but she says she isn't concerned as I'm so thin she thinks that it's just the way my body is. I suffer with alot of indigestion so I had an endoscopy and they found a lipoma in my stomach but the biopsy came back clear and they said not to worry. (Try saying that to someone with health anxiety) anyway I'm really panicking, I look at my babies and I feel this overwhelming fear and sadness that I'm going to leave them without a mummy and I can't stand it. I just want to know I'm going to be ok. Is it true that we are hypersensitive to feelings in our body when anxious? Even when I'm eating and feeling food going down my esophagus I panic because there might be cancer or something. I know it's erratic but I'm out of my depth and I need someone to reassure me. X

[Devin76oh]

Many people with this type of anxiety feel the same way you do. I have lived with health anxiety and yes you are in tune with everything that is happening.

Our body is a hard working machine, that needs to blow off steam. Our bodies will always adjust to what is happening, and if you were in fact dying your body would tell you.

The way I see it, the only person that knows when your time is to go is God. So there is no point in worrying about it.

You mentioned you want to be OK... But your doctors are telling you you are OK. So how else do you want to be assured that all is OK? I think what we have a hard time understanding and trying to deal with is accepting that we are OK.

You see a lot of people are getting test after test after test and they still are weary of what is going on. But why? Who else can tell you you are alright?

I think what we really are afraid of is not having the disease but the idea of dying and leaving things behind. At least that is what it was with me. But I decided not to worry about those things because I know there isn't a single person that can tell me when that is going to happen, except for God.

What am I saying? Believe in God, enjoy your life, and trust the professionals that know what they are doing. I am sure you are OK and very healthy. You've given birth to two beautiful kids... Your body is very healthy im sure. =)

Cheers,

Devin

[Pnferebee in reply to Devin76oh]

I understand what she is saying. Sometimes I want to go by myself like I use to, but I hey scared. My heart be beating so fast. I went to see someone for awhile, she said I was fine. Mine is the fear of getting older.

[Mloanddb]

I know exactly how you feel. That's my fear I have cancer it's horrible. I literally feel ill every single day. Chest pains on a daily basis. I'm convinced I have breast cancer I must make an appointment to have a mammogram I'm terrified but I know I have to do it!! I have an appointment with a gastroenterologist on Thursday I know something is kinda wrong with my digestive system just not 100% sure yet! I wish you peace living with anxiety is like a slow death you feel like you are being my tortured it's horrible

[tiredwithanxiety]

Hi

Yes when you are anxious you are hypersensitive to each muscle twitch, each spasm, everything. One is constantly scanning ones body and over analysing it.... and reaching the worst possible conclusions. To break this viscous cycle one has to stop checking ones body all the time. Its easier said than done. I know because I have suffered and still do to a lesser degree from health anxiety.

Accept what your doctor says. They know what they are talking about. Get busy...but you have two young kids who need all your attention.

love and luck

[Aimeeb123]

Hi there, it's horrible having to go through this isn't it! I too suffer with anxiety and health anxiety an now depression due to the anxiety, I too have a child 3 years old an my fear is me dying an leaving her but then at the same time my depressions making me feel like I'm not being the mum I want to be to her! I also have very bad IBS and had my gallbladder removed so I'll all the time with my stomach and Iv convinced myself I'm going to have bowel/stomach cancer one day! I feel dizzy nearly every day and blurry eyes but been told this is anxiety I get anxiety for no reason it's so horrible! It was recently my daughters birthday an we went out for the day the majority of it I spent in the toilets trying to breath feeling sick crying etc it's just not right so I've took the step to go on meds now I was on them 2 years ago citalopram but they really really didn't agree with me an I swore I would never take them again but when your waking up everyday not wanting to get out of bed, crying feeling ill shaky sick an wanting to sleep your life away I thought it's best if I had a little help I'm now on sertraline 2 weeks in! Last week I was really bad think it was the tabs getting in my system , this week I'm better but having waves of feeling good then rubbish it's so weird an mentally exhausting going through it!! Most people around me don't understand if their lucky enough to not suffer so i do feel like I'm the only person in the world to feel the way I do ! But then I've come on here and there's people all over that suffer but when your waking up in the night not being able to sleep you feel like your the only one in the world awake at that time... can anyone relate ? It makes it so hard to look after my daughter I'm terrified to have another child cos I feel like I can barley look after myself but I love kids and always have and always wanted 2, so I'm hoping I am better myself and feel "well" again so I can move on in life.... I've suffered for 3 years now ever since I had my little girl ! I wouldn't wish it on anyone! 3 years ago I wouldn't of understood about anxiety and depression but now I am well aware of it and we are all strong for having to cope with it everyday! I wouldn't. Hangs having my daughter for anything I just wish I could be the person I want to be or thought I would be, but I dwell to much and this makes me down, I think people with anxiety and depression put to much pressure on themselves to feel "ok" it's Christmas this weekend an every morning I say "please feel okay on xmas day" I am dreading it but the me 3 years ago loved loved loved xmas ! An now I have a daughter who's older to understand I should be so happy about xmas day ! Anyway I will stop ranting now I just wanted to get all that of my chest haha!! I could keep going but I will bore you all and my daughter is jumping on my head whilst trying to write this 🙈 Stay strong everyone ! Big hugs 😘

[Hidden in reply to Aimeeb123]

I pray you feel amazing on Christmas Day and are able to fully enjoy it with your daughter. I too have been thinking about Christmas Day... we are having our family over to our house. I always get sooo dizzy and anxious when I'm around people, so I pray that I will be okay and able to enjoy it with my husband and kids. Best wishes and merry Christmas

[Hidden]

hi dont worry im 24 and i suffer from anxiety as well and when it all started i thought i was having heart attack i cant even count how many ekg exray ulta sounds blood drowns they did on me i still get lots of chest pain i get lots of trouble breathing it scares me ive also had a endoscopy and found a hernia i was scared said its nothing to worry about and i get chest inflammation i got a dog a year ago it helped sooo much my dad and sister suffer from anxiety too we all use to take meds not no more my dad gos running every day and it has helped him and my sister is a mother of two and trys to keep herself busy mind off things that worry us and it helps alot trust me ur not alone

[Zaizaii]

Hello Alicia. I can totally understand what you ae going through. Iv been through this and i know how helpless u must be feeling. I was so worried about being sick that i started googling each and every symptom that i get and i relate it to a disease. I thought i have cancer, heart prob, thyroid and much more. If i get a headache i start panicking thinking that an artery has broken. I was dramatising everything. Let me tell u that your mind is playing tricks with you. Everything is mental. Get it straight in your head that you are fine! There is nothing wrong with you. Your health is absolutely fine. Once you've been able to understand this you will see that your life will become much more easier.