Anxiety? Grief or post surgery?

[Vj2486]

Hi all, both my mother and farther passed 8 months ago, it was within 6 weeks of each other. My dad had dementia and it was his choice to leave this world. I understand why, dementia is not something I would wish upon anyone. My mother was an alcoholic (I hadn't seen her in 6 years!) she drunk herself to death. After I just got on with things, I didn't really mourn. I know their in a better place or at least I'd like to think it. In September I had to have keyhole surgery, to look for endometriosis. I was a little worried about surgery, but it went great & my surgeon was brilliant. I was discharged and had really bad shoulder pain for days after. After 7 days were due to fly to Croatia, the day we were leaving I called the hospital to see when to remove my bandages they told me today, so I did. Ten minutes later I got a call to say not to remove them from a worried nurse, I told them I had already done so and that I was on route to the airport. She urged me to return to hospital so I rushed there just to be told to come to the exit door where I was given more badges. She would not put them on I had to do it myself. Panic set in. I ended up having a panic attack at the airport, throwing up and ventilating! My boyfriend helped me on the plane where I continued to be sick. We arrived in Croatia and I just slept! I was worried for the rest of the holiday. And although nothing happened.... ive had anxiety ever since. My question is was it brought on through lack of grieving or surgery? & how do I get rid of it.... ?

[lin62-65ze]

Poor you that really was awful to be told to put the bandages back just as you were leaving for the airport. I am so sorry to read about your parents, my parents both had dementia but died from a stroke and Dad from lung cancer. Deep down I am sure this has affected you plus your operation and the scare you had on going away. Anxiety affects us in varying degrees, I am sure that if I had had the hospital behave that way before I was to board a plane I would have panicked too. Now you need to focus on getting well. Have you been back to the hospital? You could always go to the doctors as they can tell you about your operation. Please try to think positive your parents are no longer here, you have your life ahead of you. Try relaxation tapes, breathing exercises and brisk walks. Time is a great healer you will overcome this stay positive😊👍

[Vj2486 in reply to lin62-65ze]

Thank you! I think it's a combination of everything getting on top of me. I hope it's not here to go stay though ....the hospital was definitely not a nice experience but I am trying to tell myself it was a bad experience but not a life threatening one, I went for a jog last night and tried yoga and meditation for the first time and although I still feel tense i do feel calmer so will keep that up! Hopefully 2017 will be a better year

[lin62-65ze in reply to Vj2486]

I am sure it will be. Enjoy the festive season😊 If you need help again you know where I am🤗x