At my WITS END...

[LexiJaye23]

I'm sorry for having such negative thought but I'm to the point where I'm just ready to give up. I'm not suicidal but tired of fighting, overly frustrated, and to the point where I'm just going to lock myself in a room and suffer. Nothing I'm doing is working from the exercise, medication, calming techniques, hot baths, doctor consultations, etc. I'm just tired guys smh. The constant chest pains scare me to death. I think about dying every single day. I'm not even 30 years old yetand I feel 75 smh. I have to force myself not to go to the er everyday in fear of a heart attack. I always think to myself "I want to live and see my daughter grow up I will just go one more time to make sure my heart is fine. An online doctor told me that coronary heart disease is the cause of heart attacks so based on my medical records im fine but no thats not good enough for me smh. I always say there is no way this is just anxiety. Ugh I don't know how to get there but I just wish the old me were here.

[PipzPine]

Hello and sorry to say but it is just Health Anxiety and yes it is messing with your head and body I have a different pain each week but instead of thinking what now my anxiety playing up and making me hurt in lets say my left side this week, I go straight to thinking OMG I have bowel cancer then when I have talked myself out of it I think is it stomach Cancer. Now I am suffering with bloating. I have been doctors he say my blood work fine still waiting on a scan but I just think he lying to me so I have a OK Chirstmas. That is how Anxiety messes with your head . And we all think well we know it that so why can we not stop it. I guess if we looked it up it must be a chemical thing plus other factors that I know I do have

So I know it is hard work and I have 4 kids 2 dogs and now 2 rabbits that keep me going but I am with you I want to just sleep it all of till I feel better. Would you try CBT ? It might help you

[Beevee]

Lexijaye

You have all the classic hallmarks of a person with anxiety and the reason you feel the way you do is because you are fighting it as you said yourself. Reaching the point where you want to give up is a good place to be because fighting all the symptoms of anxiety get you absolutely nowhere. Please have a look at my posts about acceptance which is the exact opposite to what you have been doing. Acceptance means doing nothing about the symptoms and learning to be ok with them, despite you not feeling ok. All the fighting just keeps your nerves on edge or sensitised and a battle you cannot win because you are only fighting with yourself and the feelings which are completely normal under the circumstances and caused by your tired nerves. Can you see how fighting just keeps you stuck?

The by-product of having sensitised nerves is anxiety and all the symptoms that come with it such as chest pains which I had myself. The pain isn't your heart, it is all the tension in the muscles in your chest wall which are causing the pain which you are creating by worrying incessantly about it. It is a self fulfilling prophecy because you keep feeding your fears which keeps you stuck in the anxiety cycle. To break that cycle, learn to accept the symptoms and live alongside them and they will gradually disappear. You may feel a lot of discomfort but the feelings are completely harmless and just adrenaline seeking an outlet.

To de-sensitise your nerves, Knowledge and a good understanding of how anxiety manifests itself is the start of the recovery process because it takes away a lot of the fear you are feeling. Fear is the root cause of your symptoms so when you lose the fear through understanding what is happening to your mind and body, you will lose the fear and the symptoms will go away. Give up the fight and just go with the flow.

[LexiJaye23 in reply to Beevee]

Thank you both for the input and advice. I've been trying to fight this beast for over 3 years and it has really taken a toll on me. I laid down and tried to take a nap however, was awaken with fear and as if my throat was numb. Its just like dang I can't even get peace while sleeping. I know I should have jumped on this condition earlier but being young and fairly stress free I never thought it would get this out of control. I will definitely be checking out your posts Beevee I need some direction otherwise I feel like I will go insane. I don't want to live like this nor do I think I can. Pipzpine I have not tried CBT yet because of insurance purposes but I will have insurance on the 31st and I am going to try everything I can until I get this under control. Do you think visiting a cardiologist will be a way to give me some peace of mind or will I just be contuing to feed the anxiety cycle?

[PipzPine in reply to LexiJaye23]

Visiting a Cardiologist might help as they will check you out do test and then tell you,you are fine if that what you think you should do no one can tell you what to do to ease your anxiety trust me on this you will for ever try finding family,friends and doctors to re assure you that you are fine and you are but it will only help for a while or maybe for you it might not. I am forever wanting to go A&E or doctors but I stop my self as for me I come out feeling worse

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

You are so awesome with your words Beevee! You help so many people including me! 😊 just reading that made me feel better!

[Hidden]

Hey hun! I know what your going through. I had terrible back and chest pain that lasted for a month. I was in and out of the er like you wouldn't believe. They finally sent me to a cardiologist to have a stress test done. And my heart is perfectly fine. And I realized the more you focus on a problem the more it is there. What you give power to has power over you. "Knock on wood" after I learned that nothing was wrong with me.. And my chest pain was simply from my anxiety the sooner I started to feel better. You are in my thoughts cause I have been where you are. I hope you start feeling better soon. But you are NOT alone. I still deal with other issues that are very hard to over come but I believe one day that everyone will over come this in their own way. Think positive!

[Jeff1943]

Lexijaye, do take good notice of Beevee's posting as that's it in a nutshell: the chest pain's are anxiety and so are all your other distressing symptoms. You must stop 'fighting' this and let the waves of anxiety wash over you - you win not by the punches that you give but by the punches that you take. Fighting the anxiety only begats more anxiety, the secret of recovery in one word is ACCEPTANCE just as Beevee says. Just let those rotten feelings come but accept them in the knowledge that this stops first fear becoming second fear and by accepting you break the vicious circle. So just switch on to automatic pilot, what author Doctor Claure Weekes, blessed be her name, calls floating

[Hidden]

Man I know exactly how you feel. I could have written this post word for word. Praying you feel better soon! Don't give up 🙂