love u

[smjtty]

when the angels fly and there is a change of seson

for what has been done there is no reson

the days change to night

what was done did not happen to you so you do

not under stand the day my world stopped

but life gos on be my friend from the phone

but to see me would not be a good idea

and for that i hide a lone in this hole i breath

uncaring passers by i just cry all about the

angels fly and theres nothing like hearing

the cherch bells ring i feel closer to were im

im going good by but why

and all the cats may sy love you my dears

rocket j mittens

murphy babe

maxamer funny face snerd

baby kitten

funny #2

momma #1

mamma#2

mika powder puff

big boy

smuf

tux

[Agora1]

dearest smjtty, I just saw your poem now. I'm worried about you. I am not one of the passers by. I care about you as a friend who is hurting deeply. I see the names of all the cats that loved you unconditionally. I hope knowing someone cares about you helps some. I pray the angels will keep you safe. Look out your window today at our 1st beautiful fallen snow. I'm not far from you and will look out my window as well. At 3pm, let's both look out the window and watch the snow falling for a few moments you will know you are not alone. I will be with you x

[smjtty in reply to Agora1]

i feel so alone at night i have not been able to sleep

yes the snow is nice but also depresing winter

you are so nice

[Agora1 in reply to smjtty]

Thank you smjtty and so are you. I'm always around if you need to talk.

[Agora1 in reply to smjtty]

Hi smjtty, thinking of you. How are you doing tonight? Are you staying warm? The weather is bitter cold out there. Stay safe my friend. x

[smjtty]

lonely worryed

[Agora1 in reply to smjtty]

smjtty, I know it's late, lets talk tomorrow. Saturday seems to be our chat night.

Sending you a hug. x

[smjtty]

thank you my problem seems to get worse not sure what to do

[Agora1 in reply to smjtty]

Hi smjtty, besides being lonely, what seems to be getting worse? The anxiety, the depression?

[smjtty]

it seem like every thing i can not sleep at night meds make me worse i know it is nice to talk to some one

[Agora1 in reply to smjtty]

If you are in all day and tend to nap or fall asleep on the couch, it will be harder to sleep at night. Then again when something is bothering you, it's pretty hard to turn that thought off and fall asleep. I know meds have given you a problem in the past but meds aren't always the answer. Smjtty, have you tried listening to relaxation videos on YouTube? They are very comforting and within 10 minutes should be able to relax you mind some so that you could fall asleep. There are others on the forum who have trouble sleeping. Are you afraid of the nighttime? I'm here if you want to continue our chat. x

[smjtty]

i look so bad it scares me from being hit in the face years ago

[Agora1 in reply to smjtty]

Are you afraid you will never have any friends because of that? Is there anyone you see or talk to on occasion. Just being Agoraphobic for years made me feel lonely. Once I started getting out again it really helped. I'm not in your shoes so I can't imagine what you are seeing when you look in the mirror. There are so many people who have been burned or have some disfigurements of some kind but they have people around them. I think that may be a big part of the problem smjtty, sitting in that house watching time passing you by. Then you can't help feeling lonely, angry and scared. Besides medication, wouldn't talking therapy help some? No matter what is wrong with our life, we cannot just let it slip by. Life is so precious. Things happen for a reason, I believe. Whatever the reason, we have to try and figure out where we go from there. We can't sit and say "Why me"... You sound like an intelligent woman, your resources aren't being put to good use. I see you as being a mentor for woman in abusive relationships or burn victims. It would be good for you to share you own personal story and heartache. At least you might feel as though you are contributing to society. My theory is that there is always something we can do with what we've been given, good or bad. It might make you feel better volunteering to read to seniors, visit patients who have no family and on and on. It gets you out of the house, helps others and makes you feel more confident. Just a thought dear, just a thought. x

[smjtty in reply to Agora1]

i look so real bad that i did not go out i do not like it this way yes life is slipping away

[Agora1 in reply to smjtty]

Oh smjtty. That's what I thought, you are stuck in that house day after day. It is perpetuating the loneliness. Does anyone check on you at all? The city, friends or family? If I were able to, I would come and visit you. You need someone you feel comfortable with. Well, I'm going to watch some tv and then shovel snow later. Thinking of you smjtty Take care please. x

[smjtty in reply to Agora1]

i have had friends but they are giving up on me it is hard to sleep at night because

i look so bad i freek out i can not bush my hair i look so bad i lopped some off

i miss my old look it looks bad hope u are ok

[Agora1 in reply to smjtty]

dear smjtty, It must be Friday because I find myself looking for your poems. I feel it is good for you to express what you are feeling in your heart. The hurt and emotional pain. When you write your feelings it is like a cleansing to your soul. It also helps others who may not understand your pain but can support your loneliness. None of us have any control over the past. But we can do something about today. We can be here for each other on the forum. As strangers we don't have to hide from because our words are written but our faces are not seen. There is no rhyme or reason as to what happened to you but maybe just maybe we can make it hurt a little less by letting you know you are not alone. Thinking of you. Agora1 x

[smjtty in reply to Agora1]

i hope you are ok keep in tough

[Agora1 in reply to smjtty]

I'm okay smjtty but what about you? We're here on the forum and I'm on PM if you need to talk