Scared

I'm really scared. I have anxiety and depression and I'm scared. I'm not the same always crying. When I read dr Claire's book years ago and I read if you don't let the thoughts float I immediately thought I can't do this so I'm going to get worse. I did get better anyway. But now years later I'm really bad and afraid of the fear. That thought I can't stop being afraid of it so I'm getting worse.

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  • When Dr Weekes talks about floating, I think it means allowing all the thoughts to be there and being ok with it. Being ok about not feeling ok, going with the flow and not trying to rid yourself of the thoughts and feelings. By adopting this attitude of zero resistance, it sends a message to your brain that there is no threat and the reaction to the thought gradually dwindles. It isn't the thoughts that cause the problem, it is the reaction you have to the thoughts or the second fear as described by Dr Weekes in her books. You can't stop the first fear flash (scary thought or feeling) from coming but you do have control over how you react to the thought which is the second fear. This can be identified as the "what ifs" such as what if I never get better? It is the second fear that does all the damage and the way through this is to learn not to react by adding more fear. In other words, change your reaction from "what if" to "so what" and mean it. It takes time to develop this new attitude but practice and experience will see you through and on the road to recovery. Once you lose your fear of the symptoms of anxiety, it will gradually disappear because it has nothing to feed on to survive because fear is the only thing that keeps anxiety alive.

  • Dr Claire Weekes books are wonderful andI echo every that Beevee says bring reply as always

    All the best

  • Wonderfully said.

  • Thank you. I say I'm going to do it but when it happens I don't. I'm scared all day. And crying. What should I do?

  • Your depression is deletion caused by constantly thrashing your nervous system with anxiety. Read Claire Weekes' book 'Self help with your nerves' again. And again. I know it's not an easy solution but it will bring immediate reassurance and eventual relief. Remember, fear without cause is only a thought, don't be intimidated by a thought, a thought can't make you die. You will recover eventually, in the meantime when you feel bad use nature's tranquilliser: breathe in slowly and hold it 4 seconds, let it out slowly, hold it one second, then repeat several times.

  • I'm scared of the thought and I can't stop because to me they're real because I'm afraid of the anxiety I can't get better. It's like the thoughts are obsessive.

  • All the thoughts are about the anxiety

  • A thought cannot kill you, anxiety cannot make you lose control. You have successfully reached the first stage where you Face your feelings rather than try to block them out. Now move forward to Accepting those feelings of anxiety and even the obsession but it must be utter Acceptance and you will eventually rob the anxiety of its power to sensitise your nervous system. You know how to Accept, don't you puppy11 because you have read the book, the only book that holds all the solutions to your fears and worries. You Accept by Floating, like going onto automatic pilot and just getting on with things no matter how rotten you feel.

    Anxiety is an imposter, it frightens you to death but it cannotvkill youvor make you lose control. Laugh in its face, you can put up with the feelings for acwhile

  • Jeff, I'm pressing the Like button dozens of times in response to your post! Dr Weekes' books provide everything a sufferer needs to recover. Sufferers need to read the books, then read them again until they fully understand the content. When I first read it, it didn't mean too much to me but after reading it again and again, I could see how the symptoms that I thought were unique to me were covered in the book. It's now held together with sticky tape!

    The bottom line is that fear keeps all anxiety disorders alive so if is just a case of losing the fear. Easier said than done bug night impossible. Anyone can do it if they follow the advice in the book(s)...face, accept, float past, let time pass.

  • You are right Beevee, it isn't easy Accepting and Floating because deep down we all want an instant solution but we have to Stop testing and Start practicing. When we do achieve success desensitisation ceases. When Claire Weekes uses the word 'cure' she doesn't mean you will never experience high anxiety or depression that comes out of anxiety again, she meant that when it comes again you will know how to rid yourself of it because you have done it before so you can do it again. I have read all Claire Weekes' books except the one on agrophobia, my mother suffered from anxiety disorder too and she was reading the first two books back in the 1970s.

    I hate to think how my journey would have been so awful if I hadn't discovered her books and even before the healing began to have the reassurance that what is happening to you is very common

  • Couldn't agree more. I still get anxious about things but because the feelings are not supercharged with fear makes all the difference. Having lost the fear, I now focus on the reason why I feel anxious (making a presentation to staff at work, for example) and not the feelings that come with feeling anxious. The feelings take a back seat. In any case, they soon pass because they are no longer the centre of attraction and don't pay them any attention. Recovery is about reaching a point where you stop caring if you feel anxious or not.

    There is a fair amount about agoraphobia in the book I read called Essential Help For Your Nerves. It isn't the places that people fear that make them withdraw to a safe place, it is the feelings of fear they fear the most and have to learn to cope the right way and exactly the same way as any other anxiety (fear based) disorder taught by Dr Weekes.

    I also found another website that "preaches" the same principles called Anxiety No More.co.uk. It was founded by another sufferer called Paul David and well worth a visit, especially the forum which contains lots of useful advice from people who have recovered and those on the bumpy road to recovery. In my opinion, it provided a more practical explanation of Dr Weekes' teachings and is completely free with the exception of two books he published and well worth a read. That is all That is needed. A sound knowledge about anxiety which takes away much of the mystery and fear, not interfering with the natural healing process that brings about cure and a little bit of patience while waiting for recovery to find me.

  • Thanks Beevee I will take a look at Paul David's website.

  • Sorry, can't seem to activate the edit mode, puppy11, you know there is no instant solution, you must Let Time Pass. In this way you will break the circle of anxiety causing more anxiety which causes more anxiety ad infinitum.

  • But I can't make the thoughts stop and I'm getting worse. What should I do?

  • Accept the thoughts puppy11. Just accept the thoughts whatever they are and turn onto automatic pilot (floating) and continue with your life. Eventually this will desensitise your nervous system and you will feel your old self again. If you find you are not ready to start this process there is no shame in getting an emergency appointment with your doctor and asking for some medication for temporary relief. But the long term cure is the method described by Claire Weekes in her books which has relieved tens possibly hundreds of people like you from nervous suffering.

  • You will never stop the thoughts coming so don't bother trying because this just makes them stick around and get stronger. The last thing you should be doing is trying to fight the thoughts and feelings. Do the opposite and stop fighting.

    Please read my earlier posts about first and second fear. First fear is the thought that comes, like an uninvited guest to your house party whom you don't particularly like very much, to put it mildly. The odd thing about this gatecrasher is that the more you want him to leave, the longer he will stay and drink your beer and eat your food. If you follow him around from room to room telling him that he's not invited and that you dislike him intensely, the more he will stay because he thrives upon this type of attention. The intense dislike you have for this guest is the second fear which you keep adding and the only reason the guest insists on staying. By changing the way you behave towards the guest (thought) By welcoming him in to your house and making friends, the quicker he will grab his coat and leave. He hates people who accept him as a friend because it takes away his power and control he thinks he has over you.

    To recover from anxiety, you have to allow yourself to think and feel everything and be ok about it. Nothing is off limits.

    Does this help?

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