Depression

[DH2014]

Hi don't no if any one can help I am suffering from heavy depression threw anxiety I don't no what do I am 19 i have no job no income I have a family that don't care.. I've been this way for the past two years it gets worse as the days go on.. Today is a really bad day for me I've tried getting an appointment in my doctors and they don't have a space until the 15th of December that's too long.. Today I've had a blade to wrist if it wasn't for my sister shout my name from the other room god nows what state I would be in right now.. I have ruined my relationship with my boyfriend my friends my family I don't trust anyone and I really don't no what step to take from here just wish it would all go away and get my happy life back

[sgalluzzo1]

I am really sorry you are feeling like this. I have been there myself struggling with deep depression. Maybe you should take that appointment with your doctor. I got on Medication and I do think that its been helping. The first time I was in deep depression, nobody in my family cared. I gained 30 pounds and only ever left the house sometimes at night. You have to pull yourself out of it. Go get a job. Your job will make you get out of bed in the morning and carry on with your day.

If you need to talk more message me. I completely understand where you are coming from.

Sara

[Darryl Partner]

Hi DH2014 Good that you posted here. Writing things down is kind of a way to vent which is cool. Two years of distress is certainly a long time. It does get better, though, which why so many of us stay alive. We see the improvements are usually longer than the setbacks. Even going from an ex boyfriend to a new boyfriend is part of that. Hardly any of us who are older than you are with the same girl or boy that we were with in our teens. (sorry if I sound like an old fart in saying that, but truth is truth). At age 19, you've got many years to wonder whether or not to actually kill yourself, so staying alive for now seems a good strategy. Totally sucks that your doctor can't see you sooner. Maybe give your doctor/consultant several more calls, letting them know - again - how important it is for you to see someone, sooner.

[DH2014 in reply to Darryl]

I can't talk to anyone i can't even have a Converstaion With my mum any more it's got that bad I go weeks with out talking to scared about what people will think of me I've put so much weight on I'm scared to walk out the door In case people talk about me I avoid anyone I no I got my self to the doctors once and tried talking about it I thought he then started making fun of me so I flipped out and won't go back I can't get the courage to go back and speak about How I feel. I used to be the life and soul of the room I can't tell you the last time I spoke never mind smiled.. I think if I don't talk no one will have any thing to say about me.. There's just so much I don't no what I've done to myself I've ruined my life

[Darryl Partner]

I totally understand weight gain (and loss), not wanting to go outside, and thinking that people are making fun of you, as do Many people here. You may not be able to talk to anyone in your family right now, but you do have all of us. Life isn't ruined...it just is, which is to say, there are really crap days, months and years and then there are really good ones. Many of us here are in our twenties, thirties and even forties or older and have gone through Long periods of distress. And, for each of us in our own way, we find value in getting through those days. Today is probably not the best day for you for philosophizing, but I thought to do so while we've got your attention. Today, just sit back with whatever it is you like or can tolerate and get through the day. I will be interested to hear how tomorrow is for you, tomorrow or later this week.